The Gipper

Long Snapper and Holder:

Other Offensive Tackle: Brooke Burk:

Offensive Tackle: Salma Hayek:

Wide Receiver: Jessica Alba (she makes me go long):

Precisely. I figure that some editor in some building in New York made the decision that because Cleveland was kinda cold and snowy that it should lead the list. The only other thing the article says about Cleveland is that it is losing population. Yet, overcongestion was one of the factors they cite to make a city miserable. I would think that losing people would lead to less congestion...and thus more happiness. And I agree. I once spent 4 hours in traffic in rush hour around Washington D.C. Give me a little lake effect snow all winter long as long as I didn't have to deal with that every day.

Well, for this purpose, one of Forbes criteria was the presence of Superfund sites. The map notes in red the sites that are still of concern, and in green the sites they say are cleaned up. Dots don't represent specific cities...they are physical locations of concern to the Superfund. Theoretically a single city could have 10 or 12 dots I suppose.

OK, I see that Forbes final, newly added criteria is "Sports team success". Now, we know that Cleveland has had poor luck with the success of its sports teams, but what constitutes "success"? I mean, let's ask this: Is it better to have a team and have it disappoint? Or to not have a team at all? Let's look at a couple of factors: 1. Yes Cleveland has not had a major team title since 1964...Browns NFL. So, let's compare "misery" along that lines with another city: Let's take: San Diego!! And compare on all fronts with Cleveland: San Diego has not had a major team title since 1963, when the Chargers last won an AFL title. And San Diego LOST the Clippers to LA. Cleveland kept our team when it tried to move. The San Diego area is quite a bit larger now than the Cleveland, almost twice the size, yet it has only 2 major sports franchises compared to Cleveland's 3. And how about the others: A. On the Superfund map, San Diego seems to have a couple of major sites. Cleveland has none. B. San Diego has the 10th worst crime rate in the US, Cleveland 33rd. C. San Diego has the 12th worst commute time, Cleveland is not even in the top 30. D. San Diego has a higher unemployment rate than Cleveland. E.On the report that noted that Ohio's tax rate ranked 38th, it also noted that California's effective tax rate was like third highest in the country. On every criteria...San Diego is worse than Cleveland: pollution, crime, congestion, unemployment, sports team failure, tax rate....every criteria but one: Winter weather. Does San Diego's nice weather trump ALL the advantages that Cleveland has over it? (Well, maybe...but really?) On the sports team failure criteria also consider: Is Cleveland's failure to win a title as bad as losing two NFL teams like LA has? I have talked about San Diego which is double the size of Cleveland having only 2 team, and I mentioned LA having no NFL teams, but also consider these: 1. The Seattle area, which is larger than the Cleveland area by far also has only 2 teams, having lost their NBA team (and that city has had no title since 1979). 2. St. Louis..larger than Cleveland... lost their NBA and NFL teams before getting one back. 3. Baltimore...larger than Cleveland has only 2 teams and now has to glom off DC for hockey and NBA. 4. Portland, Oregon, a metro area only about 200,000 people less than Cleve. is a one horse town with only an NBA team 5. The same is true for Sacramento, only about 400K less people than Cleveland. 6. The same is true for San Antonio. If you include the Austin area it is bigger than the Cleveland area...has only 1 horse, the Spurs. 7. Las Vegas, a no horse town is now only about 400K less in population than Cleveland. 8. The same is true for the Virginia Beach/Norfolk area. No teams at all. Is it better to have a team and lose or to have no team at all? And, again, what happens if the Cavs win? Then Forbes will having nothing to fall back on except that we are a town that gets some snow in winter, but less than Denver or Salt Lake. So much for this analysis.

OK, so let's move along in this analysis. The next criteria on Forbes list is: Weather. Here are several sources on weather: First, The Farmer's Almanac ( a pretty reliable source, fair to say?) Here are their top worst weather cities in America: Quillayatte. Washington Astoria, Oregon Marquette, Michigan Syracuse, NY Elkins WVa New Orleans Eugene, Ore. Hilo, Hawaii. (doing a double take? Yea, Hawaii) The Farmer's Almanac takes in all criteria: obviously including snow, Cloudy days, and humidity. the Oregon locations suffer from the cloudy, humid issue...as does Hilo. Syracuse and Marquette obviously get the snow and cold. Another poster noted the cities in America that are cold. I will simply reference that post to show how we here are not nearly as cold as many, many other places around. And I have always said, I would rather spend a winter around here than a summer in Florida. And you can add several other locatins to that phrase. Citydata.com gave this list of the cities with the worst, hottest/muggiest summer weather: Brownsville, Texas Columbia, SC Ft. Meyers Fla. Houston Jackson, Miss. Laredo Texas Miami New Orleans Oklahoma City Palm Springs Phoenix Yuma Why on earthe would Forbes not do a list of worst overall weather? Forbes did do a "Worst Winter Weather" list. Notice they only did "winter". Here was their list: 10. Baltimore 9. Detroit 8. Columbus 7. Indianapolis 6. Minneapolis 5. Chicago 4. Minneapolis 3. New York 2. Boston 1. Cleveland OK, so they have Cleveland on this list because we get a lot of snow in winter. (I notice that Buffalo, which gets more snow is not on here...but I am not here to pile on Buffalo) But, note this, the following cities all get more snow in the winter on average than Cleveland: Denver, Anchorage, Portland,Maine; Salt Lake City. So, what? If you get a lot of snow but you have some nice ski resorts nearby they think that somehow the Winter weather doesn't suck just as bad there? Pretty arbitrary in my view. I am not saying that Cleveland doesn't have bad winters that we would like to do without, but, note, for those areas affected by lake effect snow, Cleveland has about the least amount of snow. Rochester, Buffalo, Sault St. Marie, all up and down the western coast of Michigan there is tremendous snow. And I guess Forbes must exclude Alaska from the "bad weather" thought process...but note: Valdez, Alaska gets an average of 326 inches of snow a year, compared to Cleveland's 57 inches. So far though, based on their own incestuous ranking, this is the ONLY criteria so far that Forbes can claim that Cleveland has it a bit more miserable than other places. But still, there must be more to it than that.

Alright, next up to bat is the following criteria established by Forbes for its list: Unemployment: According to the March Department of Labor statistics, ALL of the following cities have higher Unemployment rates than does Cleveland, Ohio: El Centro CA Yuma Ariz. Stockton CA Palm Coast FLA Ocean City NJ Flint, Mich. Bend, Oregon Santa Cruz CA Elkhart, Ind. Riverside CA Vero Beach FLA New Bedford Mass. Las Vegas Atlantic City Reno Providence Sacramento Tampa San Jose Orlando Jacksonville Charlotte Los Angeles Miami Portland Ore. San Francisco San Diego St. Louis Louisville Memphis Cincinnati Cleveland, Tennessee!! Milwaukee Columubus In fact, Cleveland only ranked 179th in the nation in unemployment rate. So apparently it is not "Unemployment" rate that gave Cleveland its #1 rank as most miserable city. It must be something else.

Moving on to the next criteria on Forbes list: Commute time. Here is the list compiled by...who?....FORBES Magazine on the cities in America with the worst traffic and commute time: 1. Los Angeles 2. San Fran/Oaklan 3. Washington D.C. 4. Atlanta 5. Houston 6. Dallas/Ft. Worth 7. Chicago 8. Detroit 9. Riverside/San Bernadino 10. Orlando 11. San Jose 12. San Diego Cleveland is not even in the Top 30 of their list. So, apparently it is not "Commute Time" that puts Cleveland on the top of the "Most Miserable city list. It must be something else.

Onward to the next criteria for Forbes Ranking: The Crime Rate Per the FBI's list of cities with the most violent crimes per capita, the following top the list: 1. New York 2. Los Angeles 3. Chicago 4. Houston 5. Phoenix 6. Philadelphia 7. Las Vegas 8. San Antonio 9. Dallas 10. San Diego 11. San Jose 12. Honolulu Where does Cleveland sit? 33rd So, apparently it is not Cleveland's Crime rate that rate's it as America's #1 most miserable city. It must be something else.

OK, the next Criteria of Forbes Most Miserable City list I will tackle is that of Local Tax Rates. Now get this: The following is FORBES MAGAZINES list of Highest local tax rates for major US cities (not in order): Chicago Los Angeles New York San Francisco Seattle New Orleans Houston Dallas Charlotte Las Vegas Philadelphia Atlanta Cleveland is not on this list at all. ABC News put out a report of the highest tax rates in various cities, including smaller ones. Here were their top 5: Bridgeport, Conn. Des Moines, Iowa Providence, RI Newark NJ Manchester NH Also, of all the state, Ohio has only the 21st highest effective Sales tax rate. Ohio also ranks only 38th highest in State income tax rates. So, apparently it is not Cleveland Tax rate which spurs its No. 1 most miserable city ranking. It must be something else.

OK, so I have been giving some thought to this so called Forbes Magazine listing of Cleveland as the most "Miserable city" in the USA. I have to believe that they came up with a predetermined answer on this because what they say makes absolutelty no sense. They don't follow their own criteria. Forbes Criteria for determining their most miserable city, they claim was based on the following factors: 1. Location of Superfund sites in an area...this relates to essentially ground/water pollution only. (Superfund has nothing to do with smog/air pollution) 2. Unemployment rates 3. Local tax rates 4. Commute times 5. Crime Rate 6. Weather 7 Sports team performance Lets look at these in turn (I may make several posts of this so as not to lose continuity in its separate parts): 1 Superfund. I will give you here a map of the Superfund sites in the US: Look at Cleveland. Not a single red dot. Red Dots are cites that need cleaned up. Green dots are sites that have been cleaned up satisfactorily. There are a few red dots in the Akron/Youngstown area. But compare this area to much of the East Coast which is covered in red dots, or to the likes of Charlotte, St. Louis, LA, San Fran, Seattle, Houston. this area is a garden of eden compared to many of those. And while I could not find a Superfund listing by city, I did find a ranking by state, and the top 10 states are: New Jersey California Pennsylvania New York Michigan Florida Washington Illinois Texas Wisconsin the there was Ohio at 11. Oddly, the state with the least Superfund sites was Nevada with only 1 site. You want to bet they excluded nuclear waste dumping sites for their "pollution index"? So, obviously, apparently, it is not the location of Superfund pollution sites in Cleveland that spur its #1 most miserable ranking. It must be something else. I will continue in another post.

Uhm, Columbus does have a team in one of the Big Four: the NHL Bluejackets. (and of course they have the Columbus Crew in the still...in my opinion...minor league sport of soccer, the MLS Columbus Crew)

Well, in reality, Cleveland/Akron/Canton/Youngstown is essentially one "city". I mean, they are all within the same 45-50 mile radius. The same issues that afflict one will afflict them all: unemployment, the weather, no sports titles, it is all the same for all of them. So? If the Cavs win the NBA title, will they all drop out next year? And I will tell you right now, a winter in Cleveland is better than a summer in Miami or Phoenix. And another thing: how can all those cities that were so bad one year earlier not still be on the list? Kind of a bunch of bogus criteria. And why does people "moving out" make it more miserable? One of there criteria for misery is "overcrowding", like in NY or LA. So why would a town that is becoming more "undercrowded" be a negative?

Some peckerwood troll claimed that Ohio had the Five most miserable cities in the country per Forbes magazine, and suggested we google this if we didn't believe him. Well, I took that challenge and googled Forbes "most miserable cities" list, and here were the Top Ten on that list: 1. Detroit 2. Stockton, Calif. 3. Flint, Mich. 4. New York 5. Philadelphia 6. Chicago 7. Los Angeles 8. Modesto Cal. 9. Charlotte 10. Providence So much for that. Not a Cleveland, Cinci, Columbus in the bunch. Here is the link if you like: http://www.forbes.com/2008/01/29/detroit-s...le_slide_2.html

Yes, I took the bike ride, though it was clear the day I did it. No cloud. For those that don't know, you ride a bike from the top of the mountain, which is about 11,000 feet tall to sea level. And it is all downhill coasting, you really only have to pedal about twice.

Trunk Bay is perhaps the best known of the St. John beaches, but there are several on that island, any of which are great.

Yes, I have been there. The amazing part were the "trees" that he carved that folded down into themselves. Here is a photo:

I have been to the sunsets at Key West on 2-3 occasions. The party atmosphere is cool, but for the spectacular sunset itself, it cannot compare to Cape Flattery.

I admit, my top travel spots are generally further away than one tank, but here are some suggestions for fairly close trips you can take within reasonable distance of the Cleveland area: 1. Obviously, go on out to Put-in-Bay and the Lake Erie Islands. And be sure to stop at the Crescent Tavern patio in the afternoon to say "F**K You, Westside" who performs there in the afternoons. He runs the movie critic forum on these boards. Go up the Perry Monument if it is open. 2. Niagra Falls is about a 4 hour drive. Despite the cliches, it is an awesome sight. And, believe it or not, there really are things to see and do in Buffalo. 3. Run over to South Bend and Notre Dame. Beautiful campus. 4. Go to Greenfield Village and the Ford Museum in Detroit/Dearborn. 5. Spend a few days in the Cuyahoga Valley National Park in our back yard. It is, trust me, an absolute gem. NO other major metropolitan area can boast of an asset such as this so nearby. 6. Maybe a little far, but Louisville has some great things to see: The Louisville Slugger Museum, Churchill Downs, Ft. Knox is nearby. 7. Likewise, Lexington Ky. has some interesting sites, particularly the Kentucky Horse Farm. 8. Also maybe a bit beyond a one tank trip, but go to Cooperstown, NY for the baseball HOF. 9. As long as we are talking HOFs, there is of course, Canton and the Pro Football HOF. Also check out the McKinley Tomb and Museum and the First Ladies National Historic site. 10. You can always go to Mohican to canoe. And while in the vicinity go see Malabar Farm where Bogart and Bacall were married. 11. And of course there is Amish country if you are into that. The area from Millersberg over to Dover/New Philly etc. 12. You could go to the casinos in Wheeling, Detroit, and Presque Isle, Erie PA while you are waiting on the one in Cleveland to open. Wheeling also has that great Christmas Light exhibition. The name escapes me right now. 13. People say the Hocking Hills are great. Old Man's Cave etc. Oddly, I have never been there. 14. You could cross Ohio's eastern border and try to set up a tour of Falling Water in Mill Run Pa. This is Frank Lloyd Wright's most famous structure, or nearly. Also near there is OhioPyle and the Laurel region. There is supposed to be tremendous whitewater rafting there. 15. You can go to either Columbus or Cincinnati. They are big cities with a lot to do. Museums, attractions, restaurants, sports etc. 16. And, if all else fails, you could also visit Pittsburgh. If it weren't for the yumpin' yidiots that follow their football team, the town itself can be quite pretty, or at least, interesting.

There are nearly 150 miles of trails in the Cuyahoga Valley. For one, the Towpath IS a hiking trail as well as a bike path. But that is only about 20 miles. I will give you the link here: http://www.nps.gov/cuva/planyourvisit/hiking.htm Fyi, if you are hiking in either the Bedford or Brecksville Metro park reservations, or certain of the Summit County Metro parks, or on the Buckeye Trail in the park, you ARE hicking in the Cuyahoga Valley National Park. And, if you pick up one of the park brochures anywhere, the trails are all marked on there

Here is some food for thought as you plan your summer vacations. Some hints for your travels, all USA (incl. possessions): Best Sunset: Cape Flattery, Washington Best Sunrise: On top of Mt. Haleakala, Maui. (honorable mention: Quoddy Head, Maine) Best Beaches: St. John, US Virgin Islands Best Patriotic site: Fort McHenry, Baltimore Best Trees: California: Redwoods/Sequoias/Ancient Bristlecone pine/Joshua Trees Best Single Vista: Inspiration Point, Yosemite NP (Multiple vistas: Grand Canyon) Most Fun Town: New Orleans. (Honorable mention: Chicago) Best Small Town: Woodstock, Vermont. (honorable mentions: Chatham, Mass. Seaside Fla.) Best Consistent Architecture: Santa Fe, NM Campiest Attraction: House on the Rock, Spring Green, Wisconsin Nicest College Campus that is not Kenyon: Duke (honorable mention: Notre Dame) Nicest State Capitol building: Olympia, Washington (more for it setting than the building itself) Best Tall Building: Empire State Building Best Statue not called Liberty: Mt. Rushmore Best Scenic Town Setting: Sedona, Arizona Best City Park System: Savannah, Georgia Gawdiest Display of Wealth: Newport, Rhode Island Best Stadium: Wrigley Field Best preserved Western Town: Tombstone, Ariz. (honorable mention: Lincoln NM) Best hiking for the average person: Cuyahoga Valley National Park Best Lake: Crater Lake Best Mountain Range: The Grand Tetons Best Casino: Lakeside Inn and Casino, Stateline Nevada (Tahoe) Best Aquariam: National Aquariam, Baltimore Best Breakfast/Dinner combination: Camellia Grill and Commander's Palace, New Orleans Feel free to add your own

You miss the entire tenor of this thread. Its purpose is to put pootie tang on display and NOT to get on with all the judgmental crap. So, here you are: