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Corvalis PD baffled by loud "sobbing" noises

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Corvalis (AP)

In what has become a local mystery to the citizens of Corvalis as well as the local police department, loud noises described by many as "sobbing, whining, and chanting" could be heard across the city Monday afternoon, baffling many residents and annoying many others. Similar noises were heard locally about the exact same time on a Monday four weeks ago, adding to the mystery that is quickly becoming a local legend.


Beginning at about 1:15 Monday afternoon, the Corvalis Police Department started recieving numerous noise complaints; scores of people reported hearing loud sobbing noises. One witness said the crying was interspersed with the incessant whining chanting: "Derek Anderson is better. Romeo is a BQ fag. Al Lerner is a BQ Fag." Adding to the confusion, police have reported that many local businesses and residences have been vandalized in the past month with grafiti that reads "BQ fag." Police remain unsure if the two instances are related.


Corvalis Police have not commented further on the source of the crying, but one officer, who asked to remain nameless, remarked that they have not identified what was causing the disturbance. The noise pollution, according to the officer, seems to be coming from the vicinity of the 400 block of South Street, where both the sewage treatment plant and Corvalis School for the Severely Mentally Retarded and Incapacitated are both located. However, by officers arrived in the area, the sobbing ceased. The officer remarked that the Corvalis School for the Severely Mentally Retarded and Incapacitated usually has monday afternoon entertainment consisting of puppet shows and clowns crafting balloon animals that begins roughly at 1:30, but was unsure if there was a connection.


"This has all of us baffled. We would like to get to the bottom of this" the officer commented. "People are getting worried. They talk more about these strange noises everyday. They are getting scared. We need to find out who or what Derek Anderson is."

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Don't you mean "slobbering" noises? Lum was slobbering all over Derek Anderson's father's cock hoping DA Sr. would impregnate him so he could have a man-child and be related to Derek. Then all of his life's goals would be accomplished; 1. to be a member of the Anderson family, and 2. to suck an old man's d--k.

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you're just not very good. Or very timely either.


I can produce comedy on this website and have before. You tried and you have proven you cannot.


Sit down.



You produce nothing of any worth on a consistent basis. Perhaps an old man's dick might take that bitter taste out of your mouth?

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Well the only noise you should be hearing out of ND is Donald Trump saying "You're Fired!!". Or I guess you could hear some english lady say "You are the weakest link".


Either way if you heard slobery noise in Corvallis it would not be for DA it would be for the brothers rogers. I mean some peoples dislike of fans from Oregon just makes them post the dumbest things.


Outside of Lum who you have to know is just trying to get under your skin who seriously is happy that BQ got hurt.


DA is getting traded at years end and nobody in their right mind would want BQs injury to be serious even if they don't like him.


Some people make it sound as if DA plays bad every game and that is just not the case. The same excuses that people used for DA are also being used for BQ. That means that the issue is more than the QB. And I don't think that BQs injury was that bad to start but not sitting him when he hurt it probably made it much worse.


BQ has not had enough games to know what he is, nuff said on that subject. But in the last two years the Browns are 13 and 11 with DA starting. He has played 11 good to great games. That means he is capable of leading this team in the last 5 games.


I think the Browns have a good shot of going 3 and 2 in the last 5 games and beating Pittsburgh. Stop being so freaking negative, it is not like BQ was tearing it up and was going to lead the Browns to the playoffs like so many thought. He was having growing pains (shocker there) and making mistakes just like any other first time starter would.


Root for your team and get behind your QB. I remember many saying they would support DA if BQ was not on the bench. Well BQ is not on the bench for at least the next 5 games. So put your Browns fandom where your mouth is and support your team.


The offseason will bring the trading of DA not BQ. They will probably fire RAC and keep Savage. Get some free agents and have a good draft. Pick up the pieces next year with a more favorable schedule and make the playoffs.

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Guest Masters
ehh, make sense please.


If you are trying to insult please make sense so we can all enjoy the ribaldry.


So they don't teach reading comprehension in ORE? What he wrote made perfect sense. Unlike the rants you have posted in the past.

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