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Report: Dennis working on Lane Kiffin jokes


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Report: Kiffin to be named Tennessee coach

 

KNOXVILLE, TENNESSEE (TICKER) —Former Oakland Raiders coach Lane Kiffin will be named as Phillip Fulmer’s successor at Tennessee, the Knoxville News Sentinel is reporting.

 

Citing a source within the program, the newspaper reported Friday that Kiffin has reached an agreement with the university in principle and will be introduced in the coming days.

 

Tennessee has not commented on the report and has denied that Kiffin, 33, has been offered the job.

 

Fulmer was forced to step down on November 3 and will coach the final game of his 16-year career Saturday against Kentucky.

 

Kiffin was fired by the Raiders after posting a 5-15 record in his one-plus seasons in Oakland.

 

Prior to taking the Oakland job, Kiffin served as Southern California’s offensive coordinator in 2005-06, following four seasons as an assistant for the Trojans.

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As long as Al "The Cracken" Davis isn't taking over as AD, Kiffin will do just fine.

 

I also heard last week that they're trying to get Monte on staff with him. Any news there?

 

 

EDIT: Oh, I almost forgot. Phil Fulmer is fat. And not just "I looked better in my younger days" fat....borderline Mangina "I'll eat you if I can't beat you" fat.

 

fat-phil.jpg

Mark Mangina and Phil Fulmer struggle to win the right to have

Charlie Weis sit on them until their heart stops beating, while he

coaches a football game which he loses to an embarrassingly

undermanned opponent. (Photo: Gutty Images/ Jabba Hut)

 

And Parcells barks out his shopping list, inducing all three of them into trances.

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As long as Al "The Cracken" Davis isn't taking over as AD, Kiffin will do just fine.

 

I also heard last week that they're trying to get Monte on staff with him. Any news there?

 

 

EDIT: Oh, I almost forgot. Phil Fulmer is fat. And not just "I looked better in my younger days" fat....borderline Mangina "I'll eat you if I can't beat you" fat.

 

fat-phil.jpg

Mark Mangina and Phil Fulmer struggle to win the right to have

Charlie Weis sit on them until their heart stops beating, while he

coaches a football game which he loses to an embarrassingly

undermanned opponent. (Photo: Gutty Images/ Jabba Hut)

 

And Parcells barks out his shopping list, inducing all three of them into trances.

 

:lol:

 

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Oh dear Lord, I didn't need to see that picture in the morning. Goodbye, breakfast.

 

With regards to Kiffin, I'm excited by the hire. UT has been stagnant for several years now, and it was either bring in a screamer to change things, or a young coach. I hate to see John Chavis go, and was hoping that Kiffin would consider keeping him on as DC, but I've heard that Monte Kiffin might leave the Bucs to coach with his son, which would be awesome.

 

On Mangino, here's a non-photoshopped picture that is nonetheless quite sad, and I'm serious when I say that. There's fat, and then there's knowing that the picture in which you are bigger than a mascot is going to show up online. If you look at Magino's face, you know that he knows full well that it's the latter case:

 

manginoorange.jpg

 

Dennis

And does the orange have to be giving a Lindsey Englund "thumbs up"? I'm being completely serious when I say that the picture makes me want to laugh and sigh sadly for Mangino at the same time.

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That is classic. The Lindsey Englund thing is just too much.

 

Mangino is a very fat man and I don't know how he garners respect being that ridiculously obese.

 

How do you get kids to work hard?

 

Some of the best/and worst (depending how you look at it) coaches or drill sergeants I ever had were badasses that were in better shape than I was. That kind of makes you bust your ass, but with Mangino, not so much.

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That is classic. The Lindsey Englund thing is just too much.

 

Mangino is a very fat man and I don't know how he garners respect being that ridiculously obese.

 

How do you get kids to work hard?

 

Some of the best/and worst (depending how you look at it) coaches or drill sergeants I ever had were badasses that were in better shape than I was. That kind of makes you bust your ass, but with Mangino, not so much.

 

 

It's actually pretty simple Russ....."Do what I say or I'll eat you/sit on you!!!!"

 

Something like this:

 

 

 

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Mangino is a very fat man and I don't know how he garners respect being that ridiculously obese.

 

How do you get kids to work hard?

 

might help to explain why his kids listen to him. The blog that I originally found the clip on had two great responses from viewers:

 

1) "If Mangino were calling me a hot dog, I would want to start backing away as quickly as possible."

 

and, my personal favorite,

 

2) "So that's what it's like to get chewed out by Grimace."

 

Dennis

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  • 2 weeks later...

I love Google Live search. As soon as you type in "mark mang..." you get the most popular searches: Mark Mangino Weight, Mark Mangino Baby, Mark Mangino Jokes, Mark Mangino Fat, etc.

 

Not surprisingly, the best Mangino jokes come from Big 12 message boards, many of which have threads dedicated to Mangino jokes. Here are some of the ones I liked best, from a very short look-see:

 

>>Mangino walks into a 7-11 for directions.

 

He asks, "How do I get to 435?"

 

7-11 guy answers, "plenty of exercise and a lot of water."

 

---

 

He also needs to be careful when rolling over in bed so he don't burn his arse on the lightbulb.

 

---

 

Pound for pound, Mark Mangino is the best three coaches in college football.

 

---

 

Mangino is so fat....his stretch marks look like a print out from mapquest

 

---

 

Mangino is so fat, clowns pour out when he craps. <<

 

But, all things considered, he hasn't done badly for himself when it came to landing a wife:

 

maginos.jpg

 

I mean, she's not Lane Kiffin's wife:

 

05562c49456e3014ad728dc79abad1b5.jpg

 

...but then again, you can't get picky when you need to brace yourself on the couch for your family photo.

 

Dennis

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  • 6 months later...

I kind of feel guilty resurrecting this thread because, as a fat guy myself...

 

On the other hand, there are things that can't be passed up. If you look at Vols message boards, you'll still find Phil Fulmer-Krispy Kreme jokes popping up all the time, which makes me wonder why Krispy Kreme? That was the reference when RAC was the coach, and given Mangini's supple curves, I'm sure it will pop up again on the main board pretty soon. I feel obligated to point out that the man wasn't that fat. I mean, he wasn't the picture of health by any means, but to put him in the same conversation as Mark Mangino, Ralph Friedgen, that guy from Toledo, etc., is just way off-base. He's your fat uncle, not the guy from the Discovery Channel show where they have to knock out the wall to get him to the bariatric clinic.

 

And he's not Wayne Bolt, the current football program coordinator (or some such nonsense) at Auburn, former DC at Iowa State and a few other places:

 

Bolt3.jpg

 

Not a thin man, but not Mangino-esque, either. Actually, that's Bolt after gastric bypass. Here's before:

 

224515.jpeg

 

Mike Wilbon once argued that one of the reasons that it took so long for RAC and Charlie Weis to get head coaching shots is that, as fat old guys, they didn't really appeal to decision makers who wanted a face for their team. One might argue that RAC was at least cuddly, which could make younger fans feel at ease, and academics-driven Notre Dame got Weis, who kind of looks like Harold Bloom with a flat top (Bloom being a noted literary scholar who is also something of a fat tub himself). Nevertheless, the point is well-taken, and it makes it something of a miracle that Bolt was able to get pretty high-profile jobs for a long time.

 

Dennis

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