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Woof Woof: Week 14 Fantasy Football Follies


kshutchins

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For your pleasure, musical accompaniment courtesy of Ennio Morriconne:

 

Beanpot's League One:

The Good: Beanpot strengthened his grip on first place by defeating Insert Clever Name 114-60. The Indianapolis Defense (26), Chris Johnson (21) and Wes Welker (22) finished the season strong, giving Beans a record of 11-3-0 and the top seed in the playoffs. Greenville Mayhem grabbed the #2 seed by squeaking by the Notredamers 77-73. Just when it looked like it was going to be an ugly loss for Mayhem, Carolina WR Steve Smith reeled in 22 points against Tampa Bay and Carolina's Defense managed 7 points to save the day. DTBH used the mantra "I want Beanpot" to motivate his team. The players responded and delivered a 108-68 win over the BrownDogs, who landed in the consolation round battle for the #5 spot.

 

The semifinal Championship round: Beanpot vs. WVBrownfan and Greenville Mayhem vs. DTBH

 

The Bad: The Port City Cat Dawgs were unable to repeat against the Ballantyne CraZeez. The CraZeez went nuts and capped off the Cat Dawgs' season, 103-44. The Cat Dawgs finished the season with four Cleveland Browns on the roster and 11 straight losses. Had the Brownie's lived up to preseason hopes, the Port City players might not have been left mopping the basement. It's going to be a cold, damp off-season for PCCD who will spend some time reflecting on the waiver wire and how it can be used to advantage.

 

Calfox KosarDawgs will be hosting a gathering for Insert Clever Name, the Port City Cat Dawgs, and the Notredamers. All four teams will be on the sidelines this week developing draft strategy for the next fantasy season. The KosarDawgs, who were favored over OYGB, gave their last gasp and lost out 91-70.

 

The semifinal Consolation round: WPB Browns v. Ballantyne CraZeez and Brown Dogs v. OYGB.

 

The Ugly: WVBrownsfan lost to WPB Browns 82-74 and still managed to back into the championship round of the playoffs. WPB Browns have the third highest total points (1218) in the league behind Beanpot (1248) and Greenville Mayhem (1236). The Notredamers, with the fifth highest point total (1145) ended up in 11th place, proving that the volatility of the head to head format can be costly.

 

Beanpot's League TWO:

The Good: The Usual Suspects and Beanpot enhanced their records with wins and finished the season at 10-4-0. Beanpot topped Jumpin' Jack Flash 79-58. The Suspects outmuscled Huskymania 85-70. The Usual Suspects are UNusual because their management made 57 roster moves in the course of the season. Despite all of that wheeling and dealing, 5 of the Suspects' week one starters also played in week 14.

 

The PackRats receive the Viagra award for kicking the Traveling Pants 135-98.

 

The Bad: The 98 points the Traveling Pants scored would have given them a win in each of the team's five previous losing games. Too little; too late.

 

The Ugly: Another beer please will be tapping a keg in the cellar and serving up the suds to Navdawg, Lambdo's Air Show 4, and Huskymania. The Rookies pounded THE HAMMER 98-93. Even though they lost, THE HAMMER clawed their way into the final playoff berth edging out the Pack Rats who had more points but ranked lower because of last week's tie. Navdawg and Lambdo's Air Show played the meaningless game of the week as they fought it out for absolutely nothing. The Air Show defeated Navdawg, 77-69, but still finished behind dawg in the standings and both teams are done.

 

The semifinal Championship Round: The Usual Suspects against THE HAMMER and Beanpot versus the Rookies.

The semifinal Consolation Round: The Pack Rats face Jumpin' Jack Flash and Cleveland Cribbs battle the Traveling Pants.

 

Tom Flugel's League THREE:

The Good: Choo Choo's chugged to 10-4-0 by rolling over Bermey's KY Hicks, 90-67. Chris Johnson (21), Maurice Jones-Drew (19) and Jay Cutler (16) pulled Choo Choo's into the station. Team Saber's Brandon Marshall (29) and the Indy Defense (26) outclassed the Devil Dawg's DeAngelo Williams (25) and TJ Houshmanzadeh (13) to secure the second seed in the tournament. Flugelmaniac's finished off Fan of Steel and sent them packing to the consolation round 95-65. The Cleveland Steamer's victory over Rice's Rampage (93-77) also helped bar the door for FOS.

The Bad: Put yourself in Fan of Steel's shoes and re-read the Good.

The Ugly: Waiting for Noodles finished with the same record as Rice's Rampage and The Noble Savages but will still be Waiting for next year to catch site of post season play.

 

Playoff matchups:

1. Choo Choos vrs 4. Cleveland Steamers

2. Team Sabre vrs 3. Flugel Maniacs

 

Consolation Matchups:

5. Fan of Steel vrs 8. The Noble Savages

6. Devil Dawgs vrs 7. Rice's Rampage

 

Commissioner Flugels: "The League 3 Office would like to thank all of it's competitiors for competing right up to the very end to make this a very fun season for all. A special thanks goes out to our Woof Woof columnist Kathy Hutchins for all of her efforts and entertaining columns that summarized our weekly results throughout the season!"

 

Heidi's League FOUR:

The Good: Team DangeRuss finished the season 11-3-0 with the best record in all four leagues. DangeRuss won his seventh in a row, knocking Corky Crennels Byah! on his keister and out of post season play 81-58.

# Corky Crennels Byah! Leaders: Thomas Jones 12, Steve Slaton 11

# Jones had just 10 carries in Monday's loss at San Francisco. He finished with 56 yards and a touchdown.

# Brownfaninkorea finished on a winning note thanks to Brandon Marshall (29) and Dwayne Bowe (13). Marshall had 11 catches for 91 yards and two touchdowns Sunday, helping the Broncos rally to a 24-17 home win over Kansas City.

Season Ending Injury extended a winning streak to 4 by striking down vdogrowz 79-76.

My Helmet's 2 Tight snagged the final consolation round spot by defeating 2yy4u 97-84. Matt Schaub was the star of the game. Schaub, playing for the first time in four games with a brace on his banged up left knee, passed for 414 yards and two touchdowns with one interception in a 24-21 win over Green Bay on Sunday.

 

The Bad: wrfootball82 was victimized by a team they didn't play. wrfootball82 won their game against Illegal Procedure, 68-30 but was still nudged out of the Championship round by Blitzburgh. Blitzburgh Leaders Steve Smith (22) and Vincent Jackson (20) gave the team enough to outpace wrfootball by 63 points.

 

The Ugly: vdogrowz and 2yy4u finished in 10th and 11th place respectively. They finished BEHIND 6 teams with lower point totals.

 

Notes:

It's Playoff time!

The teams that will play in the playoffs for week 15 Semifinal are:

(1) Team DangeRuss

(4) Blitzburgh

And

(2) Brownsfaninkorea

(3) Season Ending Injury

 

And the Consolation games are:

(5) wrfootball82

(8) My Helmet's 2 Tight

 

And

(6) Illegal Procedure

(7) dirty hands

 

 

For the most part, League 4 brought their "A" games this week. Few points were left on the bench but there are a few that were.

Illegal Procedure left WR Wes Walker on the bench with 22 pts, QB Phillip Rivers with 23 and WR Antonio Bryant with 34. That had to hurt big time in this last week of regular season play. Ouch.

 

dirty hands only left a few points sitting by playing Lee Evans (4) instead of Steve Breaston W/13

 

2yy4u should have played QB Payton Manning (23) instead of Kurt Warner.

 

A note from the Commissioner:

 

Thanks to all the teams in League 4. This was my first season as a commish and you all made it fun for me. There were no problems, no arguments and everyone except one team watched their teams every week and played hard.

Congratulations to the top 4 teams in the playoffs. And to the teams playing for the Consolations spots, keep playing hard. These games will be important for you as well and will determine where in the standing you will be.

 

Good luck to everyone in the semi-finals and thanks to everyone who's played this season. You're all winners in my book. Game balls to everyone who gave their best down to the very end even though there was no hope of a championship. That sort of effort is what we all hope to see from players on the REAL teams we root for. It's what makes the fantasy season fun for everyone.

 

Okay spectators, take a shot at becoming the champion prognosticator by predicting who the fantasy winners will be in each of the leagues.

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The Good: The Usual Suspects are UNusual because their management made 57 roster moves in the course of the season. Despite all of that wheeling and dealing, 5 of the Suspects' week one starters also played in week 14.

 

 

This is what I know

 

Coach Kint, gets his instructions directly from our owner Keyser Soze.

 

No one else is allowed to speak to him

 

But the pay is good, So no one really cares

 

Thanks for doing this week after week Kathy, It is a pleasure to read

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What exactly is the consolation round?

 

:)

 

It's for teams like mine that actually won more games than the person getting in to the playoffs, but lost out on some technicality. It's all good though. Thanks for letting me in the league again Bean, and thanks for the fun everyone.

 

Special thanks to kathy for all the great write-ups.

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I thought the consulation round was for those who pitifully didn't make the playoffs, but had a lot of fun anyways,

 

...they would have a playoff for the "Golden Bottom of the Barrel Cactus" award. @@

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What exactly is the consolation round?

 

:)

 

The top four teams make the championship playoffs. The next four teams play in the consolation round. Essentially they're playing for fifth place. In our leagues the fifth place spot garner's respect and admiration from all of us who appreciate the persistence and determination that it takes to hang in there to the bitter end. :)

 

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Thanks for letting me in the league again Bean, and thanks for the fun everyone.

 

Special thanks to kathy for all the great write-ups.

 

You're welcome any time, bud. Thanks for putting effort into your team. Now go blow yourself, effing Steeler fan.

 

And yeah, thanks to Kathy and Heidi and Flugs for all of their awesomeness this year. You guys have made this another terrific season.

 

Beanpot

 

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You're welcome any time, bud. Thanks for putting effort into your team. Now go blow yourself, effing Steeler fan.

 

And yeah, thanks to Kathy and Heidi and Flugs for all of their awesomeness this year. You guys have made this another terrific season.

 

Beanpot

 

Backatchya Beans! You got 4 competitive leagues of 12 off the ground so take a bow my friend!

- Tom F.

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I should have rested my starters last week.

 

 

You guys gotta start WARNING me when you're gonna put hilarious stuff up. I had a mouth full of coffee that just power-shot all over my desk because of that freakin WHAM photo. On a positive note, the laughter instensity gave me 2 minute abs.

 

Has Steeler's Chuck, Preacher or Fan of Steel ever given us a sensible answer as to WHY Pittsburgh has adopted WHAM's Lead Singer as their cartoon mascot with a hard hat? Maybe they'll amend Clays Aiken into the scene.

 

- Tom F.

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You guys gotta start WARNING me when you're gonna put hilarious stuff up. I had a mouth full of coffee that just power-shot all over my desk because of that freakin WHAM photo. On a positive note, the laughter instensity gave me 2 minute abs.

 

Has Steeler's Chuck, Preacher or Fan of Steel ever given us a sensible answer as to WHY Pittsburgh has adopted WHAM's Lead Singer as their cartoon mascot with a hard hat? Maybe they'll amend Clays Aiken into the scene.

 

- Tom F.

 

I'm with you Flugs, we should demand answers.

 

How about some freaking copyright infringement or something, this is ridiculous.

image00110.jpg

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Team DangeRuss turned into Team RidicuRuss the second the playoffs hit.

 

This is what happens when you don't rest your starters.

 

Perhaps the Wham bunch in Stillerville may follow suit, although they can probably beat Dorsey with all their starters out.

 

One and done for Pittspie, they can't continue this string of luck.

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