Zombo Posted November 11, 2010 Report Share Posted November 11, 2010 This week the Great Zomboni publishes his crystal clear prognostications earlier in the week for two good reasons: 1. The Ratbirds play tonight ... don't forget to adjust your fantasy teams and picks in time and root for the Dirty Birds over the Ratty Birds. 2. The Great Zomboni is making the pilgrimage to the Mecca of all things football from his Florida lair for the first time since opening week in 2007. A lot sure has changed in Football time since then ... back then the coach was gaining weight, the running back was black and the punter was white. We got crushed by the Steelers that day as Charlie Frye shit his pants in front of 76,000 people and was traded before he had a chance to wash them. He was replaced by Derek Anderson that day who destroyed the Bungles the next week and then thoroughly baffled us for three seasons. But the real prize was newly minted, just drafted wonderboy Brady Quinn who was going to be our franchise QB and finally take us to the Promised Land. Like I said ... a lot sure has changed. Now the Browns are coming off their two most impressive consecutive wins since ... well, let's just say a "long, long time". There is a new young QB capturing the hearts of Browns Nation, and unlike those other two guys ... he specializes in completing passes. There is a monster of a man running straight up the gut of some of the NFL's best defenses, and unlike our beast of that time ...he is at the beginning of his career, not the end. The offensive line has blossomed into a true asset, dominating the line of scrimmage, winning the time of possession and protecting our young QB ... it is glorious to see ... and the best part is that the two immensely talented anchors of that line are two of the youngest starters on the team. Oh, and then there is defense. Zombo loves me some defense ... and this team has it. The defense has kept us in every single game into the 4th quarter, is VASTLY improved in run defense and just confused the hell out of a couple guys named Brees and Brady. Brees was picked off four times and Brady absolutely looked like he didn't know what do during most of the game. We've got an active front seven, some play-making linebackers and something else we all have craved since the 90's ... a flat-out diesel train balpeen hammer of a safety. So I am CLEARLY excited about this team ... but I am even more excited about the experience. I get to see the old gang, the new gang, the young gang, and the foreign gang. I get to spend three days in the heart of the city enjoying everything Cleveland. I get to go to the best tailgate on earth, make the greatest "walk" on earth, and watch this new brand of Browns put a whipping on the loud mouth Jets and roll to their third straight shocking victory. Unbelievable. Of course none of this is cheap. So the Great Zomboni will be signing autographs at $10 a pop at the Winking Lizard from 7 until 9 PM Friday, you can have your kids pictures taken with "Zombo Claus" for $25 at the Caddy Shack Lounge from 3 to 6 PM Saturday, and for a $20 donation you can grill The Great Zomboni's bratwurst at the tailgate on Sunday with all participants being entered in a chance to win the opportunity to help Ed dump the 1,000 lb grill at the end of the party. Baltimore at Atlanta Thursday Night 8:20 PM Two pretty similar teams hooking up tonight, should be a good game. Something about the Ravens offense is still leaving me unimpressed though. They should be better than they are. Maybe it's Flacco I'm not sold on. But I am definitely sold on Matt Ryan and that Falcon D. The Dirty Birds defend their home in an entertaining Veterans Day contest. FALCONS 26 RAVENS 23 New York Jets at Cleveland Sunday 1 PM When the Jets and the Browns clash in Cleveland, you get the true colors of football. The Jets green and white represents the turf and the yard lines, while the Browns are the color of the ball and the dirt. When they collide on a cool, damp November Sunday and the uniforms are covered with mud and grass ... that is the way football is supposed to look. It helps that both teams are tough defensively, like to run the ball, and put their offenses in the hands of a young hero. Man, this is football. It's gong to be a bruising slugfest, but I give the Browns the advantage for two reasons: I like Hillis to be more successful than Tomlinson and Greene combined, and I think Sanchez is more prone to that "one big mistake" than is the Colt. BROWNS 13 JETS 9 Cincinnati at Indianapolis 1 PM After somehow managing their second winning season in 20 years in 2009, and once again failing to win a playoff game ... the Bungles have resumed their rightful place in the cellar of the AFC North in 2010. And when you figure that the Browns are younger than the Bengals at almost every position and are already better than them ... I think it's going to be a long stay. They HAD to beat Pittsburgh last week. Now, expect a Cowboy-esque meltdown in Indy with T.O yelling, Ocho crying and Kitty Carson shaking his head and mumbling to himself as he heads to the sideline. It's over. Blow this team up. COLTS 45 BUNGLES 10 New England at Pittsburgh Sunday Night Football 8:20 Even the Great Zomboni didn't see this coming. The Browns plan is brilliant. They were 1-5 and the Steelers were 5-1 and there seemed no hope for the season. Then the Browns looked at the schedule and saw they could kill two birds with one stone each week and catch up to the Steelers doubly fast: freaking humiliate the team the Steelers have to play the next week. It worked like a charm the first time as the Browns but a bee in the Saints bonnet and they went out and shut down the Stillers. Now the Browns have royally pissed off the likes of Belichick and Brady. Whoops ... sorry Pittsburgh. Belichick will blitz the shit out of the Steelers offensive line and put Ben on his back more times than his mom on a Saturday night at the trailer park. And Brady will pass for 400 yards and take a shit in the Steeler end zone on the way into the locker. PATRIOTS 38 STEELERS 24 Zombo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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