Woof Woof: Fantasy Football Follies

[kshutchins]

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Bah Humbug, or whatever suits your fancy, everyone. The playoffs have ended and the Championship trophies have virtually been delivered. The fantasy playoff weeks are tough because some teams rest key players and weather often becomes more of a factor. Sadly, few of us can claim the distraction of real Cleveland Browns football as an excuse for knuckleheaded fantasy coaching errors. Before I get busy cooking, here are the final results:

Beanpot's League ONE:

 

*

1st

DTBH

*

2nd

Beanpot

*

3rd

WVBrownsfan

 

 

 

9-5-0 DTBH pulled a rabbit out of his hat and managed to repeat his winning ways, defeating 11-3-0 Beanpot by two "#!&@ing" points. In reality, Beanpot was the ultimate gentleman in defeat, giving credit where it was due, to Peyton Manning (25) and Dallas Clark (21) of the Indianapolis Colts. "It's hard to overcome your opponent when two players rack up nearly 50 points," he remarked after the first games of the championship weekend.

 

Greenville Mayhem committed the fatal error of leaving a questionable Brandon Jacobs (24) on the bench in favor of DeShaun Foster (5), handing over the third place slot to a deserving WVBrownsfan, 57-73. After celebrating, Brownsfan will be consulting with a marketing to retool the teams "Mediocrity at it's best!" image.

 

In Consolation play,the Ballantyne CraZeez enjoyed a glorious display of offense from Carolina's DeAngelo Williams (31) and ProBowl kicker, Stephen Gostkowski (17) to knock off OYGB 107-98. Ronnie Brown's 8 carries for only 32 yards, combined with a -3 from Tampa Bay's defense, cost OYGB.

 

TJ Houshmandzadeh had zero receptions, zero points against the Browns, and zero points for the BrownDogs. WPB Browns earned zero points from RB Peyton Hills, who is spending his time on IR. In the battle of the zeroes, the BrownDogs took a bite out of the WPB Browns 74-61.

 

*1. DTBH

*2. Beanpot

*3. WVBrownsfan

*4. GREENville Mayhem

5. Ballantyne craZeez

6. OYGB

7. BrownDogs

9. Calfox KosarDawgs

10. Insert Clever Name

11. Notredamers

12. Port City Cat Dawgs

 

Beanpot's League TWO:

 

*

1st

The Usual Suspects

*

2nd

Rookies

*

3rd

THE HAMMER

 

The Usual Suspects were guilty as charged, mugging the Rookies, 74-67. The Pittsburgh Steelers' one point defensive perfmormance cost the Rookies the championship.

The 10-4-0 Beanpot made an impressive effort to adjust his roster by adding RB Tashard Choice (20) but still got pounded by THE HAMMER 107-70.

The Traveling Pants' Marques Colston (27) helped put the kibosh on Jumpin' Jack Flash's consolation round dreams, 107-54 and the underdawg Cleveland Cribbs rallied to finish off the Pack Rats 95-93.

 

(This report is proof that it's tough to write anything while trying to listen to your kids talk in the other room!)

 

Final standings:

*1. The Usual Suspects

*2. Rookies

*3. THE HAMMER

*4. Beanpot

5. Cleveland Cribbs

6. The Pack Rats

7. Traveling Pants

8. Jumpin' Jack Flash

9. Navdawg

10. Lambdo's Air Show 4

11. Huskymania

12. another beer please

 

Tom Flugel's League THREE:

 

Here's the Grand Finale from League 3 and the Heavyweights did not disappoint:

Starting with the Playoffs. "Playoffs?" Yes Jim Mora Sr, the playoffs!

Championship Game:

Cleveland Steamers

51 Final

Team Sabre

94

Last week Team Sabre broke out the chainsaw on those Flugelmanaics in sudden death to persevere on their mission into the finals against the red hot Cleveland Steamers. On the big stage, that chainsaw didn't run out of horsepower as the crew from Cleveland ran out of steam and right into the Sabretooth buzzsaw. Team Sabre's electricity was generated by 19 points from Drew Brees, 16 points from Brandon Marshall, 15 points from Larry Fitzgerald, 13 points apiece from Matt Forte and Randy Moss, 11 points from the Indy Def, 7 points from Josh Scobee and 0 points from Cory Boyd. The Steamers received the following contributions: Dominic Rhodes 17, Kris Brown 13, Thomas Jones 8, Lance Moore 6, DeShaun Foster 5, Andre Johnson 3, Pittsburgh Def 1, Dan Orlovsky -2. The League Three Office would like to congratulate Team Sabre for winning the League 3 Championship. For their efforts they have won the very first invisible Charles Darwin Trophy as the Survival of the Fittest. We hope they will come back to defend that honor next season. The Steamers are standing tall and proud with the #2 spot. Great job!!!!

 

Third Place Game:

Flugelmaniacs

103 Final

Choo Choo's

122

The Choo Choos showed the Flugelmaniacs they weren't about to lose to anyone. They really had a fantastic rookie season in fantasy football and should feel really good what they accomplished. The Choo Choos gathered 122 points from the following players: Marques Colston 27, Jay Cutler 19, Antonio Gates 18, Maurice Jones-Drew 17, Chris Johnson 12, Clinton Portis 11, Miami Def 10, Rob Bironas 8. Meanwhile the Flugelmaniacs scored 103 points from these efforts: Tennessee Def 20, Wes Welker 17, Jason Witten 16, Shaun Hill 13, Eddie Royal 12, Steve Slaton 11, Cedric Benson 9, Mason Crosby 5. While we're at it, I was kind of proud of my Maniacs too for making the playoffs and competing to a sudden death tie-breaker to the eventual champions and then scoring over 100 points in the last matchup.

 

Fifth Place Game:

Rice's Rampage

85 Final

The Noble Savages

63

Rice's Rampage topped the Noble Savages for 5th place with the following double digit contributions: Peyton Manning 25, Dallas Clark 21, Le'Ron McClaim 16, and Greg Jennings 14. The Savages went down swinging getting double figures from TO's 15, Kevin Smith's 13 and Josh Brown's 11.

 

Seventh Place Game:

Devil Dawgs

98 Final

Fan Of STEEL

71

In the Alice Cooper Bowl, the Devil Dawgs brought the Heavy Metal to the Fan of Steel. Fan of Steel learned that DeAngelo Williams is even too fast for instant replay so let's just say he compiled 31 points. This was followed by Chad Pennington's 20 points while Brian Westbrook and Nate Kaeding combined for 13 points apiece and Michael Turner's 10 points pretty much had the Devil Dawgs singing good night John Boy to poor Fan of Steel. That said, said Fan of Steel's crew put up a pretty good fight getting 29 points from Philip Rivers, 11 points from Jerrichoi Cotchery and 8 points from Jerrious Norwood.

 

Final Standings after the post season tournaments:

1. Team Sabre 11-5

2. Cleveland Steamers 9-6-1

3. Choo Choos 11-5

4. Flugelmaniacs 9-7

5. Rice's Rampage 9-7

6. The Noble Savages 8-8

7. Devil Dawgs 8-7-1

8. Fan of Steel 8-8

9. Waiting For Noodles 7-7

10. Believeland 6-8

11. Calfox KosarDawgs 3-11

12. Bermeck's KY Hicks 2-12

 

The goal was competitive league and fun for all so mission accomplished! We'll see you all again next season. Many thanks again to Kathy Hutchins for all her efforts with the Woof Woof that enhanced our overall entertainment value. 2 thumbs up!!!! Happy Holidays!

- The League Three Office

 

Heidi's League FOUR:

Congratulations to Blitzburgh. League 4 Champion. Well done.

 

 

 

 

*

1st

Blitzburgh

*

2nd

Season Ending Injury

*

3rd

Team DangeRuss

 

Week 16 Match ups:

 

Blitzburgh 76

Season Ending Injury 62

Blitzburgh Leaders: Jay Cutler 19, Derrick Mason 16

Cutler threw for 359 yards and broke Jake Plummer's franchise record with 4,210 yards for the season, but he threw an interception to Kawika Mitchell at the goal line with six minutes left in the Broncos' stunning 30-23 loss to Buffalo on Sunday.

 

Season Ending Injury Leaders: Matt Cassel 25, Greg Jennings 14

 

Cassel completed 20 of 36 passes for 345 yards and three touchdowns, guiding the Patriots to a 47-7 win over Arizona in the snow on Sunday.

 

 

Team DangeRuss 118

Brownsfaninkorea 80

 

Team DangeRuss Leaders: Hines Ward 20, Drew Brees

 

Ward had his fourth 100-yard performance in the past seven games with seven catches for 109 yards and a touchdown in Sunday's 31-14 loss to Tennessee.

 

Brownsfaninkorea Leaders: Reggie Wayne 20, Brandon Marshall 16

 

Indianapolis Colts WR Reggie Wayne had seven receptions for 108 yards with one touchdown in Week 16.

 

My Helmet's 2 Tight 56

dirty hands 83

 

My Helmet's 2 Tight Leaders: Ryan Grant 14, Pierre Thomas 13

 

Dirty Hands Leaders: Brandon Jacobs 24, Tony Gonzalez 17

 

Jacobs (knee) had 24 carries for 87 yards and three touchdowns Sunday night. He caught one pass for five yards, but also dropped another one, showing again that he's a dreadful receiver out of the backfield.

 

Illegal Procedure 72

wrfootball82 60

 

Illegal Procedure Leaders: Antonio Bryant 18, Wes Welker 17

 

Tampa Bay Buccaneers head coach Jon Gruden said the team would like to keep WR Antonio Bryant next year. Bryant is scheduled to become an unrestricted free agent following the season.

 

wrfootball82 Leaders: Kevin Smith 13, Larry Johnson 13

 

Smith ran for 111 yards on 24 carries, adding the Lions only touchdown in a 42-7 loss to New Orleans on Sunday.

 

The Final Standings For League 4:

 

Rank Team

*1. Blitzburgh

*2. Season Ending Injury

*3. Team DangeRuss

*4. Brownsfaninkorea

5. Illegal Procedure

6. wrfootball82

7. dirty hands

8. My Helmet's 2 Tight

9. Corky Crennels Byah!

10. vdogrowz

11. 2yy4u

12. DaManBeagles

 

Again, congratulations to the top players. Enjoy the victories. Blitzburgh has earned the bragging rights in League 4. Season Ending Injury was a Fantasy newcomer who came through the ranks to get 2nd and earned bragging rights of their own and Team DangeRuss was a force to be reckoned with all season, great job at winning 3rd place.

Congratulations to all teams. You all stuck it out and played hard and made it a fun season. I hope everyone will join in again next year. ---Heidi

 

Congratulations to the Champions!!

I can't thank everyone enough for making this a great fantasy season. I appreciate all of the kind and generous comments you all have made in response to these reports. It's been fun putting them together. As the season progressed, Tom and Heidi really got into reporting for their respective leagues and made my job a lot easier. Thanks to them for all of their energetic efforts. For those of you who have never done anything like this, it takes a couple of hours for each of them to compile all the information and write their entertaining commentaries. Kudos to them. I want to thank Todd (Beanpot) for doing an exceptional job and setting up and managing the leagues. He says he didn't do anything except set them up, but he's wrong. Without even realizing it, he encourages the members, manages the leagues, and keeps us all on an even keel so we can have a lot of fun. Thanks, Beans!

 

To all of you faithful participants and readers, have a great holiday season. See you in the funny papers.

[Zombo]

Beanpot's league ONE

 

*1. DTBH

*2. Beanpot

*3. WVBrownsfan

*4. GREENville Mayhem

5. Ballantyne craZeez

6. OYGB

7. BrownDogs

9. Calfox KosarDawgs

10. Insert Clever Name

11. Notredamers

12. Port City Cat Dawgs

 

 

 

Dawg's a player, always does well in the Fantasy Leagues. As do Beans and Mayhem. This looks like it was the toughest league. Except for Ballantyne. Can't believe Cal finished behind that crazy old man.

 

Beanpot's League TWO:

 

 

Final standings:

*1. The Usual Suspects

*2. Rookies

*3. THE HAMMER

*4. Beanpot

5. Cleveland Cribbs

6. The Pack Rats

7. Traveling Pants

8. Jumpin' Jack Flash

9. Navdawg

10. Lambdo's Air Show 4

11. Huskymania

12. another beer please

 

 

 

I see the Father & Son duo from the Nutmeg State were as competitive as usual. I look forward to seeing them in the Baseball league. They both got beat by "Traveling Pants" .. isn't that a Chick Flick? I don't think I've seen Beanpot finish as low as fourth before. I think he's over-extended himself.

 

 

Tom Flugel's League THREE:

 

Final Standings after the post season tournaments:

1. Team Sabre 11-5

2. Cleveland Steamers 9-6-1

3. Choo Choos 11-5

4. Flugelmaniacs 9-7

5. Rice's Rampage 9-7

6. The Noble Savages 8-8

7. Devil Dawgs 8-7-1

8. Fan of Steel 8-8

9. Waiting For Noodles 7-7

10. Believeland 6-8

11. Calfox KosarDawgs 3-11

12. Bermeck's KY Hicks 2-12

 

This looks like the easiest League. I would have been undefeated in this league. With two shutouts of the Flugelmaniancs.

 

 

Rank Team

*1. Blitzburgh

*2. Season Ending Injury

*3. Team DangeRuss

*4. Brownsfaninkorea

5. Illegal Procedure

6. wrfootball82

7. dirty hands

8. My Helmet's 2 Tight

9. Corky Crennels Byah!

10. vdogrowz

11. 2yy4u

12. DaManBeagles

 

You guys let a Steeler Fan win one of the leagues???? See, this is what happens when you put women in charge.

 

Woof , Woof.

 

Zombo

--Yeah, I know ... shut up if you didn't sign up. Then again ... I beat you all with my dog last year in pro pickem, so I think I earned a lifetime right to talk shit in Fantasy leagues.

[Cowsrus]

Congratulations to all of the winners in all the leagues. To all teams, good job at keeping up with your teams and I hope you had fun playing.

Kathy, you have done and outstanding job with this report and you deserve a virtual trophy of your own and thank you for taking the time to do it.

Beanpot, what can I say? Great job guy! You kept everything running smoothly and did a fantastic job all year. Thank you.

To everyone, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy Hanukkah. Well happy, happy to all except Steelers fans who can suck a candy cane.

 

Heidi

[Flugel]

Congratulations to all of the winners in all the leagues. To all teams, good job at keeping up with your teams and I hope you had fun playing.

Kathy, you have done and outstanding job with this report and you deserve a virtual trophy of your own and thank you for taking the time to do it.

Beanpot, what can I say? Great job guy! You kept everything running smoothly and did a fantastic job all year. Thank you.

To everyone, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy Hanukkah. Well happy, happy to all except Steelers fans who can suck a candy cane.

 

Heidi

 

I second every bit of that! Thanks for your goodies too Heidi!

- Tom F. (Happy Holidays Everyone!!!!)

[Furnier]

I wanna thank everybody who participated. This was alot of fun. I was saddled with two crippled Quarterback's right out of the gate (Hasselbeck & Palmer) and had no real receiving corps to speak of. My RB's kept me in it every week.

 

Special Thanks to Kathy, Heidi, Flugs & Beanpot for all he work they did and the awesome write ups. Just wait 'till next year!

 

Doug

[Riffer X]

I need that popcorn eating icon with the dude just chilling and watching

 

 

[rich4eagle]

Good job Kathy stellar performance and ......................more that impressive..............root hard for US to be big again instead of small...........anticipating that!

[calfoxwc]

Congrats to the winners !

 

It's been great fun, I hope everybody had the same.

 

Not being competitive isn't like me, but some dumbass did a poor job of drafting and coach...

 

er... nevermind. heh heh...

 

Even lost out to Rich, so Kudos to him. Right there, I lost my own personal superbowl for the first time.

 

Hope everybody had a wonderful and merry Christmas !!!

[Guest AdaM]

I just wanted to make sure everyone knew that I was down 12 points going into Monday. My only player left was Greg Jennings... and he got me 14 and the win!

[WVBrownsfan]

Congrats to all the winners, I give you all a virtual pat on the back !

[DTBH]

Winning league one two years in a row? These are the things you dream of as a young boy, but to see it actually happen...I don't think it has sunk in yet. I've tried to take a few days away, spend time with the family, and understand the whole situation. But I can't seem to understand how anyone could be this good at anything.