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4-4? Are you joking me?


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Browns will beat the dusky pigeons and be 4-4. Gotta start thinking that way. And then the next week RAC will drop his pants at halftime, turn to ''face'' the team and then proceed to BLAST them with a flatulence of such severity it will literally rip the wings off butterflys in china. Browns will then flee the lockerroom and overcome an unthinkable 20 point deficit even as players are still vomiting on the sideline. 5-4.

At that point the season starts looking magical. A nickname is earned by this squad as the team goes to 6-4. SI hangs the regrettable moniker GAS HOUSE GANG as the story of Romeo's Mushroom Cloud becomes the story of the year. ''It really woke us up'' Joe Thomas is quoted as saying ''sure there is survivor guilt but I think that's what drives us. I think about Subway Boy every day. If I had been sitting where he had been sitting that day (within mere inches of the epicenter) that might have been me. ''

7-4 becomes inevitable when Romeo adds to the pregame tradition of sending the team to the field by ripping the belt out of his pants and then swinging it wildly at the heads of the receiving crew who are forced to run a disciplined route just to make it out the door. 8-4 is a foregone conclusion as Jamal Lewis beats staph by rubbing some dirt on it in a midweek miracle that has the national media starting to wonder what is going on in Cleveland. The next weeks win is punctuated by Romeo delighting the team with his brash demonstration that the staffocockus germ has now been rendered harmless by ingesting a staff encrusted crueller that was found festering under a bench in the equipment room. As tradition calls for Romeo the send the team to the field by leaping on a table, ass to the ceiling NoW GeT Out There And Play YOUR asses off!

10-4 11-4 then 12-4 in a cloud of putrescent excellence highlighting how UNDERRATED the team was in preseason rankings. And now with homefield advantage the playoffs become Very interesting...



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