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The best security system for your home...


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You won't need one.


Took down our Rebel flag and peeled the NRA sticker off the front door. We've disconnected our home alarm system and quit our candy-ass Neighborhood Watch. Bought two Pakistani flags on eBay and raised them in the front yard, one at each corner, plus a black flag of ISIS in the center. Now, the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching the house 24/7. I've never felt safer and we're saving $49.95 a month.

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