Zombo Posted December 20, 2015 Report Share Posted December 20, 2015 Well, The Great Zomboni had another nearly perfect week and my assistant was in the Christmas spirit. But ... that was the problem ... it was nearly perfect. Somehow, I missed the Andy Dalton injury, and people noticed. So I fired that skinny bitch ... she was in charge of injury forecasts. I needed someone on the inside. Someone that is going to know when Cincinnati's QB has a boo boo. So meet my new assistant ... A.J. McCarron's Mom: You better win today, A.J. ... or Mommy pays. Kansas City at Baltimore 1:00 PM Even after getting the infamous Kick Six against the Browns, the Ravens are still bound and determined to finish in last place. The playoff-chasing Chiefs will be happy to oblige. Four TD passes for Alex Smith. Why? Because I said so (and he's starting in the playoffs for TGZ's fantasy team). I have no idea who the Ravens are starting at QB today ... but I know he's not good. CHIEFS 31 RAVENS 10 Cleveland at Seattle 4:05 PM The Browns lost a fullback ... and gained a running game. The Browns quit farting around with the usual delayed draws and end runs last week and started to just hit the hole ... and, damn, they can run! That will help help them out this week as Johnny Manziel makes his 6th NFL start against the Legion of Boom. With a running game, and some Johnny improvisation, the Browns will be able to score on these guys. But will the defense get to Red Hot Russell Wilson like they did Blaine Gabbert? You betcha ... just enough to cause a late turnover and pull off the stunner in Seattle. BROWNS 26 SEAHAWKS 23 Denver at Pittsburgh 4:25 PM It's December, which means good defensive teams shutdown high-flying wannabes ... so i think we all know how this one will go. C. J. Anderson with 126 yards and a pair of TDs ... and ... this just in ... here is my first injury forecast from my new assistant ... T.J. Ward blows out Ben Roethlisberger's knee with 3:17 remaining in the third quarter on a safety blitz. Ben writhes in pain on the field for 6 minutes and 32 seconds. BRONCOS 23 STEELERS 14 Cincinnati at San Francisco 4:25 This matchup brings back Super Bowl memories from the 80's: Joe Montana, Kenny Anderson, Boomer Esiasion, Bill Walsh, Sam Wyche, Jerry Rice, John Taylor, and of course ... John Candy. But this matchup features ... drumroll please ... Blaine Gabbert versus A.J. McCarron. Mommy says Bengals by 16. Mommy better be right. BUNGLES 23 49ERS 7 TGZ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miktoxic Posted December 20, 2015 Report Share Posted December 20, 2015 she better get lubed up now. i don't know who has bigger tits her or the guy holding her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob806 Posted December 20, 2015 Report Share Posted December 20, 2015 Browns upset SeaHags. Makes the Christmas season more special. All my sons in town, margaritas, burritos, & seeing Pete Carroll the traitor cringe....yay! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kent Posted December 20, 2015 Report Share Posted December 20, 2015 Well, The Great Zomboni had another nearly perfect week and my assistant was in the Christmas spirit. But ... that was the problem ... it was nearly perfect. Somehow, I missed the Andy Dalton injury, and people noticed. So I fired that skinny bitch ... she was in charge of injury forecasts. I needed someone on the inside. Someone that is going to know when Cincinnati's QB has a boo boo. So meet my new assistant ... A.J. McCarron's Mom: You better win today, A.J. ... or Mommy pays. Kansas City at Baltimore 1:00 PM Even after getting the infamous Kick Six against the Browns, the Ravens are still bound and determined to finish in last place. The playoff-chasing Chiefs will be happy to oblige. Four TD passes for Alex Smith. Why? Because I said so (and he's starting in the playoffs for TGZ's fantasy team). I have no idea who the Ravens are starting at QB today ... but I know he's not good. CHIEFS 31 RAVENS 10 Cleveland at Seattle 4:05 PM The Browns lost a fullback ... and gained a running game. The Browns quit farting around with the usual delayed draws and end runs last week and started to just hit the hole ... and, damn, they can run! That will help help them out this week as Johnny Manziel makes his 6th NFL start against the Legion of Boom. With a running game, and some Johnny improvisation, the Browns will be able to score on these guys. But will the defense get to Red Hot Russell Wilson like they did Blaine Gabbert? You betcha ... just enough to cause a late turnover and pull off the stunner in Seattle. BROWNS 26 SEAHAWKS 23 Denver at Pittsburgh 4:25 PM It's December, which means good defensive teams shutdown high-flying wannabes ... so i think we all know how this one will go. C. J. Anderson with 126 yards and a pair of TDs ... and ... this just in ... here is my first injury forecast from my new assistant ... T.J. Ward blows out Ben Roethlisberger's knee with 3:17 remaining in the third quarter on a safety blitz. Ben writhes in pain on the field for 6 minutes and 32 seconds. BRONCOS 23 STEELERS 14 Cincinnati at San Francisco 4:25 This matchup brings back Super Bowl memories from the 80's: Joe Montana, Kenny Anderson, Boomer Esiasion, Bill Walsh, Sam Wyche, Jerry Rice, John Taylor, and of course ... John Candy. But this matchup features ... drumroll please ... Blaine Gabbert versus A.J. McCarron. Mommy says Bengals by 16. Mommy better be right. BUNGLES 23 49ERS 7 TGZ Time to fire injury assistant mommy Macarron already haha. T.J. Ward is ruled out for their game today. Don't worry my crystal ball still sees the Broncos edge rushers beating up Ben all day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zombo Posted December 20, 2015 Author Report Share Posted December 20, 2015 Time to fire injury assistant mommy Macarron already haha. T.J. Ward is ruled out for their game today. Don't worry my crystal ball still sees the Broncos edge rushers beating up Ben all day. I'll take her in the back room and teach her a lesson. We'll see if she misses another injury report. Zombo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richiswhere Posted December 20, 2015 Report Share Posted December 20, 2015 Matt Schaub throws a pick six Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tour2ma Posted December 20, 2015 Report Share Posted December 20, 2015 Week 14 Results ... Prev .... This ..... YTD Straight-up ........... 29-19 ..... 4-0 .... 33-19 Vs. the spread ..... 25-22-1 .. 4-0 .... 29-26-1 Week 15 Kansas City @ Baltimore (+7.0) KC is on a roll... BLT is on vacation. Prediction: KC 27 BLT 13 Denver @ Pittsburgh (-6.0) Too much PTG O... Too much Heinz Field... Too much Brocksweiler... Prediction: PTG 31 DNV 20 Cincinnati @ San Francisco (+4.5) Have I mentioned that AJ was my 2013 Darkhorse QB? Prediction: CIN 24 SF 10 Cleveland @ Seattle (-14.5) Best I can manage this week is a split... Prediction: SEA 27 CLE 17 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Cheesedick Posted December 21, 2015 Report Share Posted December 21, 2015 Week 14 Results ... Prev .... This ..... YTD Straight-up ........... 29-19 ..... 4-0 .... 33-19 Vs. the spread ..... 25-22-1 .. 4-0 .... 29-26-1 Week 15 Kansas City @ Baltimore (+7.0) KC is on a roll... BLT is on vacation. Prediction: KC 27 BLT 13 Denver @ Pittsburgh (-6.0) Too much PTG O... Too much Heinz Field... Too much Brocksweiler... Prediction: PTG 31 DNV 20 Cincinnati @ San Francisco (+4.5) Have I mentioned that AJ was my 2013 Darkhorse QB? Prediction: CIN 24 SF 10 Cleveland @ Seattle (-14.5) Best I can manage this week is a split... Prediction: SEA 27 CLE 17 Nice job! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tour2ma Posted December 21, 2015 Report Share Posted December 21, 2015 Week 14 Results ... Prev .... This ..... YTD Straight-up ........... 29-19 ..... 4-0 .... 33-19 Vs. the spread ..... 25-22-1 .. 4-0 .... 29-26-1 Week 15 Kansas City @ Baltimore (+7.0) KC is on a roll... BLT is on vacation. Prediction: KC 27 BLT 13 FINAL: KC 34 BLT 14 - W/W Denver @ Pittsburgh (-6.0) Too much PTG O... Too much Heinz Field... Too much Brocksweiler... Prediction: PTG 31 DNV 20 FINAL: PTG 34 DNV 27 - W/W Cincinnati @ San Francisco (+4.5) Have I mentioned that AJ was my 2013 Darkhorse QB? Prediction: CIN 24 SF 10 FINAL: CIN 24 SF 14 - W/W Cleveland @ Seattle (-14.5) Best I can manage this week is a split... Prediction: SEA 27 CLE 17 FINAL: SEA 30 CLE 13 - W/L Week 15 Results ... Prev .... This ..... YTD Straight-up ........... 33-19 ..... 4-0 .... 37-19 Vs. the spread ..... 29-26-1 .. 3-1 .... 32-27-1 Not perfect this week (victim of sentimentality?), but had to take my phone off the hook. Was getting a bunch of calls for a "Sam Rothstein" asking him for tips??? Any idea who that is? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zombo Posted December 21, 2015 Author Report Share Posted December 21, 2015 Zamboni writes: "So I fired that skinny bitch ... she was in charge of injury forecasts." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Actually it's you who needs to get canned after these so-called predictions. Nice job again nailing that Steelers game! Guess you'll hide behind the "spread" again? They never learn. Every year the cream rises to the top, and the brown sludge sinks to the bottom. Big bad Cincy's butt kicked? Check. Big bad Denver disposed of? Check. Now on to the small fry to cook up for lunch. Wow, thanks for bringing up this thread, i didn't realize how well I did yesterday. Damn near called the score in Chiefs rout of Baltimore, and with the exception of a late garbage-time TD. Cincy over 49ers was damn near perfect too. My assistant not getting me the T.J. Ward info cost me a game, still can't complain about two flawless picks in one week, I think I will lube her up and kepp her around for another week. Zombo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zombo Posted December 22, 2015 Author Report Share Posted December 22, 2015 Yeah you really nailed the Brownie and Steeler games to finish a mediocre 2-2. Guess some standards are lower than others. I had two near perfect picks and slightly missed one because of unreported injury. I missed the Browns pick. Have you ever noticed any sort of trend in my picks, or are you just the dumbest motherfucker walking the planet earth? Zombo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tour2ma Posted December 22, 2015 Report Share Posted December 22, 2015 Is that a trick question? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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