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*** Time for a Divorce from Liberals ***

Mr. T

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Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists

and Obama supporters, et al:


We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest

election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we

tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but

sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of

America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it

on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable

differences and go our own way.


Here is a model separation agreement:


Our two groups can equitably divide up this country by landmass each taking

a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can

come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our

respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both

sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.


We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to

the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our

firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael

Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a

bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).


We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies,

Wal-Mart and Wall Street.. You can have your beloved homeboys, hippies and

illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and

rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.


You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to

invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and

war protesters.


When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide

them security.


We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam,

Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.. but

we will no longer be paying the bill.


We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take

every Volkswagon you can find.


We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure

you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing,

Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.


We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty

your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our

name and our flag.


Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded

liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete.

In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you which one of us will need

whose help in 15 years.





John J. Wall

Law Student and an American


P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.


Very Nice!

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With the power vested in me from the great State of California, I hereby grant that Law Student/Crybaby/"American" the divorce he so dearly wants.

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