Jump to content

Fantasy Football Follies Week SIX


Recommended Posts

Let's get right to it!


Full 'o Beans League TWO:

We don't want to bury the lead so we'll begin with League Two:



Bo and the Boz didn't seem confident in a win, declaring, "I'm not counting my eggs just yet. We'll see if San Diego can hold Kyle Orton to under 300 yards and 20 touchdowns." But Beanpot summed it up: "Count 'em, adopt 'em, name 'em and pick out colors for the curtains. That's a serious hammer you tossed down this week." Bo and the Boz annihilated dirty hands 171 -61. An astounding score and an equally astounding margin of victory gave Bo and the Boz the Viagra trophy for the week, the month, and possibly the season. Have you ever seen a fantasy football score like that? We'd love to read the details in your comments. Tom Brady (43), Ray Rice (34), Wes Welker (32) and Larry Fitzgeral (25) more than doubled the score of the entire dirty hands team. "I wash my hands of it," dirty hands remarked of his team's performance this week. barofsoap.jpg

Congrats to Bo and the Boz for an impressive effort!


Lambdo's Air Show had lofty aspirations this week and thought they'd outdone all opposition by outscoring Justin Hermouf 116-49. Randy Moss (34), Green Bay's DEF (21) and Brian Westbrook paled by comparison to the stunning Bo and the Boz, leaving the Air Show disappointed. Hermouf is looking forward to facing dirty hands in a battle between opponents who look more evenly matched. Air Show is expecting to outfly the Flying Turkeys in Week Seven.


Drew Brees (31) and Thomas Jones (23) gave Bermeck's KY Hicks-* a satisfying win over The Hammer, the leagues only unvictorious team, 110-83. At 0-6-0, the Hammer was feeling down but not hopeless. There's a chance that the Hammer might pick up their first win this week in a close matchup with Beanpot.



Oreo's Team was the latest victim of the heartless Beanpot who had nothing kind to say about his opponent. "She doesn't even understand what Fantasy Football is," scoffed Beans after clobbering the softbellied kitty 98-82. We'll see Mr. Beanpot. Cats have long memories and longer claws.



Nailbiter of the Week: The Flying Turkeys wisely chose to start Matt Schaub (29) over Mark Sanchez (-8) but a lapse in judgement caused the Turkeys to start the NYG Defense (-2) over Cinci's Defense (7) resulting in a 9 point swing which cost them the game against hammertime 105-101. Hammertime was last seen with a you-know-what-eating grin, relishing Brett Favre's 23 point game winning performance over the Baltimore crows.


Also played:

The Double D's were again afflicted by double digits, losing to the Choo Choo's 88-69. Maurice Jones-Drew (32) and Steve Breaston (18) outperformed expectations.

Beanpot's League One:

T's Jelly Donuts summed up their efforts against the top-scoring League One team, Jumpin' Jack Flash. "Talkin' about a team crapping their pants. Man can you smell it? Your QB went off and outscored my whole team," lamented the Donuts in the wake of defeat. That's a fact, Jack, Tom Brady's 43 exceeded the 42 points scored by the entire T's Team. Flash wins, 126-42.


Beanpot capitalized on efforts of Maurice Jones-Drew (32), Marques Colston (25) and Ryan Longwell (26) to humble Navdawg's Browns 124-50. Too bad, so sad, that's what the Navdawg Browns get for counting on the B-more team. The Ravens' ::shudder:: defense (2) and Willis McGahee (GooseEgg.jpg) added to the pain of the loss.


Even a -2 from QB Matt Hasslebeck couldn't stop the Usual Suspects from stealing a win from Ballantyne's Buckeyes 93-92. The 'W' was the Suspects' second in a row, hoisting the team out of the basement.


The allure of the basement hottub and ice cold beer on tap were too much for Derek and the Zombonos to resist. The team dropped it's 5th in a row and was last seen sampling brewskis in the cellar. Prior to the game, opponent Calfox was overheard to murmur, "I reckon Derek and the Zombonos will sing like Sonny and Cher after we beat them," Is that the sound of the duo we hear wafting from down below? Zombonos 64, Calfox KosarDawgs 82.


alwAys LOsing said 'Bye Bye Bye' to any possibility of victory by keeping Roy Williams, Tashard Choice, and Adam Vinatieri active for the game. Of course there wasn't much left on the bench. Darren McFadden added his zip from the lockerroom. Final: ALO, 54; Flug's Cardiac Kids, 85. Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday, and SWEET!, Flug's.


Insert Clever Name's 104-92 victory over DTBH helped create a logjam of 6 teams at the top of League One with 4-2-0 records.

Also played: Greenville Mayhem 101; Huskymania 95.


1. Ballantyne Buckeyes 4-2-0

2. Jumpin' Jack Flash 4-2-0

3. Insert Clever Name 4-2-0

4. Flug's Cardiac Kids 4-2-0

5. T's Jelly Donuts 4-2-0

6. Calfox KosarDawgs 4-2-0

7. Beanpot 3-3-0

8. Huskymania 3-3-0

9. DTBH 3-3-0

10. The Usual Suspects 2-4-0

11. GREENville Mayhem 2-4-0

12. alwAysLOsing 2-4-0

13. Navdawg's Browns 2-4-0

14. Derek & the Zombonos 1-5-0


Flugel's League Three:

Here's the latest in search of the greatest:



Charlies Angels 107 Flugelmaniacs 80


Charlie's Angels improved their record to 2-4 behind the monsterous efforts of Tom Brady and his 43 points. Other good contributions came from Heath Miller's 16 points and Chad Ochocinco's 11 points. The Flugelmaniacs remained the 2nd highest scoring team in the league with 544 points overall; but their record dropped to 1-5 as Hines Ward scored 24 and Andre Johnson added 17.


Koa Krew 121 Calfox KosarDawgs 59


Koa Krew is now 3-2-1 this year thanks in large to this triple pronged scoring output: Randy Moss 34 points, Larry Fitzgerald 25 points, and Thomas Jones 23 points. Calfox told reporters Hasselbeck's minus 2 points gave him flashbacks to the 3 Stooges when Hasselbeck said: "Hey Coach, I got a weak back!" Oh yea? How long you had it? "I don't know I just got it about a week back!" Lucky for the KosarDawgs that only dropped them to 3-3 and they're already looking forward to this Sunday.


Project Showtime 134 Team DangeRuss 72


Project Showtime won the matchup and the Viarga Award for League 3 with 134 points while improving to 5-1. This was made possible by 34 points from Ray Rice, 32 points from Wes Welker and 21 points from the Packer Defense. Steve Slaton and Eddie Royal also reached double digits. Meanwhile DangeRuss dropped to 2-4 inspite of receiving 20 points from the Patroit Defense and another 14 points from Steven Jackson.


Kibbles & Vicks 88 Runn UuOVer 58


Kibbles & Vicks decided they were movin on up to a 2-4 record. Their game plan got them 32 points from Pocket Hercules as known as Maurice Jones-Drew. Ryan Longwell and Lee Evans were a big help as well by adding 16 and 14 points respectively. Runn Uu OVer got scoring density via 24 points from Owen Daniels, 16 points from Jay Cutler and 11 from Michael Turner. Their record is now 3-3 as we head into the middle of our season.


Waiting for Noodles 105 Rice's Ryders 59


Waiting for Noodles couldn't wait for Sunday and it showed. They are now sporting a 3-2-1 record thanks in large to the 25 point performance of DeAngelo Williams and 15 point effort from Aaron Rodgers. 4 other players reached double digits while place kicker Jeff Reed put the team first and stayed sober for all 3 hours his team was on the field. Rice's Ryders aren't too discouraged because they're right in the thick of things at 3-3. The Bills' Defense showed enough heart to produce 18 points while Greg Jennings added 10.


Dot the I 106 Believeland 70


When the weekend started Thaak's Believeland was the team to beat in League 3 without any losses to date. Therefore, it only made sense they stormed the field to the lyrics: "I fought the law and the law won." Needless to say, if anyone was going to beat this team they better Dot the I and Cross the T. Well, guess what? Matt Schaub dotted the I with 29 points while Brian Westbrooke crossed the T with 18 points as they defeated Believeland and improved their record to 3-2-1. Believeland fell to 4-1-1 and a half game out of first place.



The Fabulous Five Power Standings


1. Project Showtime 5-1-0 605 pts

2. Believeland 4-1-1 529 pts

3. Koa Krew 3-2-1 544 pts

4. Waiting for Noodles 3-2-1 473 pts

5. Dot the I 3-2-1 417 pts


Heidi's League Four:


Even Fantasy Football has been infected by the Swine Flu. Hope you're better, Heidi!!


My Helmet's 2Tight 98

Doctors of Gridiron 110


Ballantyne Behemoths 133

FBrulz 114


WPBDawgFan 92

WV Hoopies 59


Brownies 80

One Man Wolf Pac 68



Brown'sFanInDallas 75


LCDawgfan13 102

Timugen's Tool 84


My Helmet's 2Tight: Drew Brees 31, DeAngelo Williams 25

Doctors of Gridiron: Ray Rice 34, Ben Roethlisberger 16


With matching stats going into this week, Doctors came out on top. Helmet's Drew Brees was back in form but Doctors RB Ray Rice who leads the NFL Running Backs coupled with QB Roethlisberger who leads the NFL in passing was enough to take this win. Well done.


Ballantyne Behemoths: Tom Brady 43, Maurice Jones-Drew 32

FBrulz: Randy Moss 34, Larry Fitzgerald 25


In this match up between the number 1 and number 2 teams in this league, it was Behemoths that came out ahead. Bot teams scored over 100 points and is the top scoring game this week.

FBrulz's WR Randy Moss had three touchdowns in the win over Tennessee among his eight catches for 129 yards.


WPBDawgFan: Matt Schaub 29, Steve Slaton 18

WVHoopies: Matt Ryan, Michael Turner both w/11


WPBDawgFan's QB Matt Schaub threw for 392 yards and 4 TD's in the win at at Cincinnati.

Hoopies' RB Michael Turner has 100 rushes for 353 yards (3.5 per carry), but has six rushing touchdowns. He had a franchise record 17 rushing touchdowns last season.

This match up was also Toyota's Biggest Fantasy Blowout with WPBDawgFan +33pts over WVHoopies


Brownies: Wes Welker 32, Ryan Longwell 16

One Man Wolf Pac: Brian Westbrook 18, Andre Johnson 17


Going into this week, these two teams projected points were dead even but Brownies pulled ahead and took this win from Wolf. The Brownies WR Wes Welker had a career-high 150 yards on 10 catches, including a pair of touchdowns. And although Wolf Pac didn't win this tie, his RB Brian Westbrook had a good game with 141 rushing & receiving yards.

That makes 2 wins in a row for Brownies.


BOHICA: Mike Sims-Walker 17, Rian Lindell 11

Brown'sFanInDallas: Brett Farve 23, Zach Miller 21


This is why I say it always fun to vote because the team that gets fewer or in this case no votes, is the team that won the match up.While Brown'sFan scored a respectable 75 points this week, a couple of his players may need to be watched for (Cribbs & Portis) slight injuries although it doesn't look like they'll be put on the injured list.


LCDawgfan13: Hines Ward 24, Derrick Mason 19

Timugen's Tool: Marques Colston 25, Aaron Rodgers 15


LCDawgfan13 was the underdog in projected points but was the winner this week between these 2 teams.

Timugen's Tool's QB Aaron


Rodgers threw for 358 yards and two touchdowns on 29-for-37 passing in Sunday's win over Detroit. He was intercepted once.



1. Ballantyne Behemoths 5-1-0 .833 577 W-1

2. FBrulz 5-1-0 .833 545 L-1

3. Doctors of Gridiron 4-2-0 .667 539 W-1

4. LCDawgfan13 4-2-0 .667 513 W-3

5. My Helmet's 2Tight 3-3-0 .500 526 L-1

6. WPBDawgFan 3-3-0 .500 483 W-1

7. Timugen's Tool 3-3-0 .500 481 L-3

8. BOHICA 3-3-0 .500 453 W-2

9. Brownies 2-4-0 .333 422 W-2

10. WV Hoopies 2-4-0 .333 415 L-1 8 8

11. Brown'sFanInDallas 2-4-0 .333 379 L-2 1 -

12. One Man Wolf Pac 0-6-0 .000 423 L-6 4 13


Thanks, y'all for hangin' around and enjoying the Fantasy Football season with us! Thanks also to Heidi and Flug's who have gone above and beyond the craziness of their everyday lives to file these fantastic reports! Thank YOU!


Go Brownies!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank YOU Kathy for being paitent while I "fumble" (pun"t" intended) through my report each week. Your patients is appreciated.

I think it's safe to say that Tom and I both look forward to reading about all the leagues as much as everyone else. Right Tom?


Pretty sure it's just a seasonal flu but thanks for the well wishes. Laughing as hard as I did reading these, I can honestly say it made my sides hurt more that they already do but, I'll play through the pain, I'll gut it out, I'll suck it up, I'll I'll... I'll need a nap. And maybe some cheese to go with this whine. Where'd that little green smiley go? Blah.


Thanks again Kathy and Tom!



Link to comment
Share on other sites

Bo knows fantasy.


I've played this stupid game for 5ish years (same scoring format) and have never seen a team score that many points. Not even close. We may have had a team break the 140's once or twice, but not close to the land you now live in.


That land forever includes expectations.


Expectations you can't possibly meet.


I'm guessing you and your team crumble like a dying star. You then seek out the world of medicine and alcohol to regain that high you felt in week 6 of 09. That will probably lead to several unfortunate incidents prior to jail/death.


Which in turn will lead to media interest and a few cute kids talking on national television about Uncle CIMO and his demons.


Cut to A&E or one of those channels and we'll have an episode titled:


"Bo Thought He Knew Fantasy - If Only He Had A Grasp On Reality" - I'm Stone Phillips.....


Can't wait to be interviewed!



Link to comment
Share on other sites

Waiting for Noodles 105 Rice's Ryders 59


Waiting for Noodles couldn't wait for Sunday and it showed. They are now sporting a 3-2-1 record thanks in large to the 25 point performance of DeAngelo Williams and 15 point effort from Aaron Rodgers. 4 other players reached double digits while place kicker Jeff Reed put the team first and stayed sober for all 3 hours his team was on the field.



Before I get an invite to Judge Judy I just want to say on the record:

"Jeff Reed does not have a drinking problem. He has no problem getting drunk."


As a person that hates the Steelers, I find alot of comfort in knowing those goal posts always look like they're moving back and forth when it's time for kicksies.


- Tom F.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...