Woof Woof: 2009 Fantasy Football Follies Week 9

[kshutchins]

Beanpot's League One:

 

stumbled in week 9 sinking near the bottom in the standings. The GM was castigated by fans and media for last minute lineup adjustments that cost the team points. Brian Westbrook, questionable at game time, replaced Reggie Bush in the lineup then remained inactive and sat, watching birds circling before his eyes as a lingering effect of his concussion. Media criticism brought a sharp rejoinder from management, "We had our best man in. Substitutions would NOT have brought home the !!" The Usual Suspects were the 76-57 winners in the contest thanks to Baltimore RB, Ray Rice (22). A Browns Board fantasy football GM benefiting from the success of a Baltimore player? "Guilty as charged!" declared the Suspects.

 

Beanpot, the Browns Board's beloved and respected fantasy sports instigator, organizer, arbitrator, guru, and general Zen-like sports master (don't let it go to your head ... we still want to beat your team senseless) lead his team to their fifth victory in a row defeating Flug's Cardiac Kids, 86-66. When asked for the secret to his success, the self-effacing coach/GM declined to speculate. "Matchups are certainly a part of it,' he demurred as he studied weather forecasts and injury reports while scanning sports newslines while listening to XM radio fantasy sports analysts. "I hardly put any effort into it at all."

 

The Mighty Quinnbos leveraged their new identity and fantasy philosophy to climb over alwAys LOsing 99-80. Mike Sims-Walker (21) and Julius Jones (19) carried the day for the Quinnbos. GM of the rejuvenated team is maintaining Mangini-l;ike secrecy regarding the identity of next week's starting QB. Will it be , Smith or Young? Analysis is in progress. Anyone need a QB? ALO remained mum following the loss.

 

did not rest on their laurels after last week's victory. The detested Hines Ward (21) and Tennessee's Chris Johnson (25) pushed the team beyond expectations. Insert Clever Name was not intimidated and put Kurt Warner (35) and Michael Turner (25) to work. At the end of four quarters of ball it was Flash 88, Insert Clever Name 105. Jumpin' Jack Flash was last seen slinking home.

 

Ballantyne Buckeyes were the and Toyota "Biggest Fantasy Blowout" winners for League One. The Buckeyes who rank second in overall points behind Beanpot, are fourth in the standings. The vagaries of head to head fantasy sports are responsible for the ranking despite outstanding scoring. NavDawg's Browns were the Buckeye's latest victims, losing 70-116. DeAngelo Williams (21), Joseph Addai (24) and Vincent Jackson (20) starred for Ballantyne. After losing five in a row, NavDawgs installed satellite capability and a ginormous-screen HDTV, complete with Bose surround sound, in the cellar.

 

Also played: DTBH 83; Calfox KosarDawgs 72.

Huskymania 89; T's Jelly Donuts 64.

 

Full 'o Beans League Two:

 

The Hammer finally showed signs of life, winning only his second game of the season, pounding Oreo's Team 109-98. The sweet, gentle, carefree, kitty, was heartbroken by the loss. Hammer's Kurt Warner (35) outgunned Oreo's Jay Cutler (24) to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.

 

The Double D's also snagged their second win, 94-72 over Justin Hermouf. 25 points from the Ds' Michael Turner helped the team avoid last place by a whisker. Only the Hammer stands in the way of the D's hitting bottom.

 

Bermeck's KY Hicks gave a win on a silver platter. Bye week buddies Thomas Jones and Josh Brown kept the bench warm and served up goose eggs. Owen Daniels, on IR, also rode the pine adding another to the omelet. Dirty hands gladly enjoyed rising to 7-2-0. Final: Hicks 51; hands 101.

 

League leading Bo and the Boz look unstoppable, once again delivering a massive blow to their opponents. This week it was the Flying Turkeys that took the sucker punch 131-53. Don't bother with the math. That's a 78 point margin. It looks like Bo really does know fantasy. Larry Fitzgerald (29) garnered the game ball.

 

The Choo Choo's must've been stuck on a siding because hammertime passed them by, 97-70 despite having QB Brett Favre record 0 points due to a bye week benching. Pittsburgh's Defense (21) and Mike Sims-Walker more than made up for the absence.

 

Also played: Lambdo's Air Show 80; Beanpot 71.

Tom Flugel's League 3 - Week 9

 

Believeland 88

Flugelmaniacs 85

 

Joseph Addai scored 24 points and Mike Sims-Walker added 21 to keep Believeland on pace for a playoff run and happily ever after. Believeland is in 2nd place with a 6-1-2 record while Flugel has his follies almost ready to clinch last place with 2-7. The maniacs weren't available for post game comment but they are willing to listen to any motivational speakers in the house

 

Calfox KosarDawgs 78

Dot the I 55

 

Frank Gore scored 23 and Donald Driver added 14 to improve the KosarDawgs to 4-5. Dot the I suffered a Capital sized concussion in Washington with their star RB Clinton Portis as they fell to 4-4-1.

 

Project Showtime 121

Waiting for Noodles 99

 

Waiting for Noodles wasn't ready for Showtime's triple pronged attack of Chris Johnson's 25 points, Ray Rice's 22 points and Dallas Clark's 21 points. That said, they got a 21 point effort from DeAngelo Williams and another 20 points from Vincent Jackson as their team countered with 99 points. Project Showtime is King of the standings with an 8-1 record while Waiting for Noodles is tied for 3rd place at 5-3-1.

 

Runn Uu OVer 102

Charlie's Angels 79

 

Michael Turner ran over the Angels with 25 points while Jay Cutler shredded them with 24 more points as Runn Uu OVer improved their record to 4-5. The Angels fell to 3-6 feeling a little nauseated about benchign Kurt Warner's 35 points but Andre Johnson did his best to show the coaching staff that part of their trade got them 16 points.

 

Victory Formation 123

Team DangeRuss 69

 

This week's Viagra Award for League 3 goes to the Victory Formation. I guess there isn't a more appropriate thing to reward a spread formation with. Larry Fitzgerald's 29 points coupled with Randy Moss' 23 points helped Victory Formation into a tie for 3rd place with a 5-3-1 record. Team DangeRuss fell to 4-5 in spite of a nice 14 point effort from TJ Howsmyhandscoach.

 

Rice's Ryders 90

Kibbles & Vicks 76

 

Rice's Ryders rode the shoulders of Julius Jones and Eli Manning with 19 and 16 points respectively. They are now in a good position to make a run at the playoff qualifications with a 4-4-1 record. Kibbles & Vicks battled with 18 points from Brandon Marshall and 17 points from Pocket Hercules (Mo Jo Drew) as they became cellar company for their buddy Flugel with a 2-7 record.

 

Fabulous 5 Power Rankings:

Project Showtime 8-1-0 918 pts

Believeland 6-1-2 802 pts

Victory Formation 5-3-1 847 pts

Waiting for Noodles 5-3-1 800 pts

Rice's Ryders 4-4-1 676 pts

 

The Heidi Report:

My Helmet's 2Tight 88

WV Hoopies 78

 

Ballantyne Behemoths 102

Timugen's Tool 88

 

Doctors of Gridiron 83

LCDawgfan13 65

 

WPBDawgFan 85

BOHICA 87

 

Brownies 64

FBrulz 142

 

Brown'sFanInDallas 32

One Man Wolf Pac 57

 

 

My Helmet's 2 Tight 5-4-0: Joseph Addai 24, DeAngelo Williams 21

WVHoopies 2-7-0: Michael Turner 25, Nate Burleson & Neil Rackers both w/12

With both teams points projected to be equal, Helmet managed a win this week with the help of Runningbacks Williams and Addai.

RB Michael Turner did his part on Hoopies' team by carrying 58 yards for a TD, his 10th of the season.

 

Ballantyne Behemoths 7-2-0: Vincent Jackson 20, Maurice Jones-Drew & Steve Smith both w/17

Timugen's Tool 4-5-0: Frank Gore 23, Julius Jones 19

Behemoths got the votes and another win this week. QB Tom Brady threw for 332 yards and a touchdown & marked his third straight 300-yard game and the 27th of his career. Tool's WR Marques Colston had a tough day, dropping at least three passes, including one in the back of the end zone.

 

 

Doctors of Gridiron 6-3-0: Ray Rice 22, Vernon Davis 16

LCDawgfan13 5-4-0: Hines Ward 21, Matt Cassel 19

Doctors' RB Ray Rice has scored four rushing touchdowns in his past three games after not scoring a touchdown last season as a rookie.

LCDawgfan13 had 2 players on bye week but WR Hines Ward had seven catches for 44 yards and two touchdowns.

 

WPBDawgFan 4-5-0: Brandon Marshall 18, Stephen Grostkowski 14

BOHICA 5-4-0: Dallas Clark & Mike Sims-Walker both w/21

This was a very close outcome with only 2 points separating the winner from the loser. Marshall had 11 catches for 112 yards for WPBDawgFan.

BOHICA's RB Tomlinson wasn't much help as he was held to 22 yards on 12 carries.

 

Brownies 4-5-0: Wes Welker 14, Matt Forte 12

FBrulz 7-2-0: Kurt Warner 35, Larry Fitzgerald 29

This weeks Toyota Biggest Fantasy Blowout goes to this match up with a +78 points, FBrulz burned the Brownies. Kurt Warner had an excellent 35 pts and WR Randy Moss had a 71-yard touchdown.

 

Brown'sFanInDallas 3-6-0: Chris Johnson 25, Nick Folk 8

One Man Wolf Pac 2-7-0: Andre Johnson 16, Tony Gonzalez 13

Brown'sFan was plauged with players on bye week thus only 2 players had any points this week because their Defense was -1.

57 points was enough to do the job for Wolf Pac. WR Andre Johnson had 10 catches for 103 yards. Even though he took the win, One Man Wolf Pac voted for Brown'sFanInDallas to win.

 

Standings:

 

1. Ballantyne Behemoths 7-2-0 .778 831 W-2

2. FBrulz 7-2-0 .778 822 W-1

3. Doctors of Gridiron 6-3-0 .667 791 W-2

4. My Helmet's 2Tight 5-4-0 .556 778 W-1

5. BOHICA 5-4-0 .556 713 W-1

6. LCDawgfan13 5-4-0 .556 687 L-2

7. Timugen's Tool 4-5-0 .444 782 L-2

8. WPBDawgFan 4-5-0 .444 718 L-1

9. Brownies 4-5-0 .444 676 L-1

10. Brown'sFanInDallas 3-6-0 .333 548 L-1

11. WV Hoopies 2-7-0 .222 628 L-4

12. One Man Wolf Pac 2-7-0 .222 596 W-2

 

My undying thanks to Tom and Heidi for compiling their reports every week. You guys are the bomb.

Time to get the juices flowing for a full on week of Brownies football. Go Browns!

[Cowsrus]

You really move quick Kathy, lol. I still like those pictures you add to your color commentaries, they add that something extra for sure.

 

This week snuck (sneeked?) up on me. Ya turn around and another week has flown by and another team has been trashed again. Everyone takes their turn at humiliation.

 

Thank you Kathy and Tom. I enjoy reading the goings on in the other leagues. Makes me feel a little better about my team.

 

And I don't know if I'm ready to watch the Browns and Ravens on Monday night. The entire country will be watching and see our shame . Could be ugly.

 

Heidi

[Flugel]

You really move quick Kathy, lol. I still like those pictures you add to your color commentaries, they add that something extra for sure.

 

This week snuck (sneeked?) up on me. Ya turn around and another week has flown by and another team has been trashed again. Everyone takes their turn at humiliation.

 

Thank you Kathy and Tom. I enjoy reading the goings on in the other leagues. Makes me feel a little better about my team.

Heidi

 

 

Backatachya Heidi!

- Tom F.