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BrownBoard Weekend- Official Thread


roach

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Gang, the previous thread was fun, but i needed to start a fresh one to get a better handle on who will be attending. Don has promised to deliver some special (secret) cuts, so i wanted to be in the ballpark with headcount. Stan feel free to repeat the entire weekend itinerary here.

 

For far i have about 30 people including:

Mark, Russ, Howard, Gareth, ClevelandFanForLife, and Tink (+3). We're waiting to hear from Zombo, Flugs and Kamac19. How about Larry, Riffer, Shawn or Jarrod, others? Who else am i missing? It should be fun- looking to forward to seeing everyone.

 

roach

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For far i have about 30 people including:

Mark, Russ, Howard, Gareth, ClevelandFanForLife, and Tink (+3). We're waiting to hear from Zombo, Flugs and Kamac19. How about Larry, Riffer, Shawn or Jarrod, others? Who else am i missing? It should be fun- looking to forward to seeing everyone.

 

roach

 

 

Let's go you two xxxxing homos... man up and buy a plane ticket to Cleveland and let's have some fun!!!

 

Ed..

 

Thanks in advance for everything this weekend...the donation can will be out that day right?

 

 

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Let's go you two xxxxing homos... man up and buy a plane ticket to Cleveland and let's have some fun!!!

Sounds like somebody is severely regretting their decision and hoping someone else makes one just as bad.

 

Let me look at this objectively:

 

Weekend of Dec. 6th

 

A. Buy girlfriend hot new bikini for the weekend ($50). Saturday, fill a cooler up with beer ($15) head to the beach with the top down (the car, not the girl ... yet),get a tan, watch the chicks, catch a buzz, go home have a nice dinner at home, watch a movie, have sex, sleep in. Sunday, fill up the cooler ($15)head to the beach, set up camp near a bar where I can catch some of the early games ($20),tan, girls, buzz ... head to open air bar on 80* day to watch the Browns game, enjoy pizza, beer and girlfriend while Browns lose, ($80) laugh at dumbass fans freezing in the cold, go home, make a movie, sleep in, go to work rested and happy. Total bill: $180.00

 

B. Buy a plane ticket to Cleveland ($250), pack the only warm clothes I have into a big heavy bag, lug it through airport security after they throw out all of my toiletries and do a full cavity search because I'm dark and hairy. Fly to cleveland, step outside and immediately freeze my nuts off. Skippy picks me up in his plastic pants and whisks me off to the hotel ($200) where Mark is already drunk in the lobby and calling everyone in earshot a "homo". Go to a bar where all the girls are wearing three layers of clothing, shoot pool and watch the college games ($50) while Skippy hits me up for some little league raffle he made up ($25). Go to another bar, get drunk,($30) get in bar fight after Mark grabs some girls ass (Hope Erin isn't reading) and calls the chick's boyfriend a homo. Get a cab to the next bar ($15), open the door prematurely when Skippy rips a huge fart, watch another cab rip the passenger door off and a little dude who looks like the Heat Miser rant and rave and threaten me with a law suit ($2,500). Refuse to give my driver's license to the dumbass Cleveland cop because I did nothing wrong, pick the wrong cop this time, spend the night in Cuyahogo County Lock-up huddled up on a cold, hard concrete bench while some crackhead with headlice throws up on my shoes ($45). Have girlfriend wire bail money ($500) head down to tailgate freezing my ass off and still wearing same clothes as night before. Start drinking straight bourbon with Balpeen and doing shots of the Orange Shit with Hoorta until the pain and memeories of my night in jail with the crackhead goes away. Realize I spent all my cash the night before, steal $20 from the tip jar (+$20) so I can buy a hat and gloves before the frostbite sets in, wretch my back helping Roach move the 900 lb. grill that everyone else is too lazy, or smart, to help with, start borrowing pain pills and washing them down with bourbon, Orange Shit and beer until it is time time to eat. Enjoy delicious hamburger with all the trimmings, bratwurst, chips and cute little cookies with orange helmets on them. Wonder why it's not mixing all that well with the pain pills, bourbon, Orange Shit and beer. Throw up in the tip jar (at least now they won't notice the missing $20). Start doing jello shots to get my "sea legs" back, walk two miles up a hill with a brutal wind in my face as the rain turns to sleet to snow to ice balls. Go to game ($80) only to see it is 14-0 Chargers before I take my frozen seat and 24-0 before I get my first frozen beer ($10). Drink five more frozen beers $(50) while Chargers run up score in record breaking fashion, realize people are at home laughing at my dumbass freezing in the cold, but stay until the very end hoping Bret Ratliff can engineer a field goal drive. He doesn't. Attempt to throw bottle, but it is frozen to glove. Throw glove with bottle in it and it hits the dude that Mark called a homo the night before. Run down the ramp, flag down a cab, Have him take me to a ATM and get me back to the hotel ($30). Take a scolding hot shower to get feeling back in my body, order room service ($35), notice that the gloveless hand is completely frostbitten and whack off to hotel softporn ($15) with my one good hand. Cab it to the airport, get back to town and miss work because I need treatment for the frostbite ($3,000), find out I missed a sale because I wasn't there ($10,000) and go in the next day still hungover and shitting orange with my arm in a sling. Total Bill $16,835.00

 

Hmmm ... I think I just need a little more time to think about it, boys.

 

Zombo

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Sounds like somebody is severly regretting their decision and hoping someone else makes one just as bad.

 

Let me look at this objectively:

 

Weekend of Dec. 6th

 

A. Buy girlfriend hot new bikini for the weekend ($50). Saturday, fill a cooler up with beer ($15) head to the beach with the top down (the car, not the girl ... yet),get a tan, watch the chicks, catch a buzz, go home have a nice dinner at home, watch a movie, have sex, sleep in. Sunday, fill up the cooler ($15)head to the beach, set up camp near a bar where I can catch some of the early games ($20),tan, girls, buzz ... head to open air bar on 80* day to watch the Browns game, enjoy pizza, beer and girlfriend while Browns lose, ($80) laugh at dumbass fans freezing in the cold, go home, make a movie, sleep in, go to work rested and happy. Total bill: $180.00

 

B. Buy a plane ticket to Cleveland ($250), pack the only warm clothes I have into a big heavy bag, lug it through airport security after they throw out all of my toiletries and do a full cavity search because I'm dark and hairy. Fly to cleveland, step outside and immediately freeze my nuts off. Skippy picks me up in his plastic pants and whisks me off to the hotel ($200) where Mark is already drunk in the lobby and calling everyone in earshot a "homo". Go to a bar where all the girls are wearing three layers of clothing, shoot pool and watch the college games ($50) while Skippy hits me up for some little league raffle he made up ($25). Go to another bar, get drunk,($30) get in bar fight after Mark grabs some girls ass (Hope Erin isn't reading) and calls the chick's boyfriend a homo. Get a cab to the next bar ($15), open the door prematurely when Skippy rips a huge fart, watch another cab rip the passenger door off and a little dude who looks like the Heat Miser rant and rave and threaten me with a law suit ($2,500). Refuse to give my driver's license to the dumbass Cleveland cop because I did nothing wrong, pick the wrong cop this time, spend the night in Cuyahogo County Lock-up huddled up on a cold, hard concrete bench while some crackhead with headlice throws up on my shoes ($45). Have girlfriend wire bail money ($500) head down to tailgate freezing my ass off and still wearing same clothes as night before. Start drinking straight bourbon with Balpeen and doing shots of the Orange Shit with Hoorta until the pain and memeories of my night in jail with the crackhead goes away. Realize I spent all my cash the night before, steal $20 from the tip jar (+$20) so I can buy a hat and gloves before the frostbite sets in, wretch my back helping Roach move the 900 lb. grill that everyone else is too lazy, or smart, to help with, start borrowing pain pills and washing them down with bourbon, Orange Shit and beer until it is time time to eat. Enjoy delicious hamburger with all the trimmings, bratwurst, chips and cute little cookies with orange helmets on them. Wonder why it's not mixxing all that well with the pain pills, bourbon, Orange Shit and beer. Throw up in the tip jar (at least now they won't notice the missing $20). Start doing jello shots to get my "sea legs" back, walk two miles up a hill with a brutal wind in my face as the rain turns to sleet to snow to ice balls. Go to game ($80) only to see it is 14-0 Chargers before I take my frozen seat and 24-0 before I get my first frozen beer ($10). Drink five more frozen beers $(50) while Chargers run up score in record breaking fashion, realize people are at home laughing at my dumbass freezing in the cold, but stay until the very end hoping Bret Ratliff can engineer a field goal drive. He doesn't. Attempt to throw bottle, but it is frozen to glove. Throw glove with bottle in it and it hits the dude that Mark called a homo the night before. Run down the ramp, flag down a cab, Have him take me to a ATM and get me back to the hotel ($30). Take a scolding hot shower to get feeling back in my body, order room service ($35), notice that the gloveless hand is completely frostbitten and whack off to hotel softporn ($15) with my one good hand. Cab it to the airport, get back to town and miss work because I need treatment for the frostbite ($3,000), find out I missed a sale because I wasn't there ($10,000) and go in the next day still hungover and shitting orange with my arm in a sling. Total Bill $16,835.00

 

Hmmm ... I think I just need a little more time to think about it, boys.

 

Zombo

compromise. bring her to the beautiful beaches of lake erie. and you didn't even mention that in choice b you can still have sex... only it's while you wait to be bailed out.

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Sounds like somebody is severly regretting their decision and hoping someone else makes one just as bad.

 

Let me look at this objectively:

 

Weekend of Dec. 6th

 

A. Buy girlfriend hot new bikini for the weekend ($50). Saturday, fill a cooler up with beer ($15) head to the beach with the top down (the car, not the girl ... yet),get a tan, watch the chicks, catch a buzz, go home have a nice dinner at home, watch a movie, have sex, sleep in. Sunday, fill up the cooler ($15)head to the beach, set up camp near a bar where I can catch some of the early games ($20),tan, girls, buzz ... head to open air bar on 80* day to watch the Browns game, enjoy pizza, beer and girlfriend while Browns lose, ($80) laugh at dumbass fans freezing in the cold, go home, make a movie, sleep in, go to work rested and happy. Total bill: $180.00

 

B. Buy a plane ticket to Cleveland ($250), pack the only warm clothes I have into a big heavy bag, lug it through airport security after they throw out all of my toiletries and do a full cavity search because I'm dark and hairy. Fly to cleveland, step outside and immediately freeze my nuts off. Skippy picks me up in his plastic pants and whisks me off to the hotel ($200) where Mark is already drunk in the lobby and calling everyone in earshot a "homo". Go to a bar where all the girls are wearing three layers of clothing, shoot pool and watch the college games ($50) while Skippy hits me up for some little league raffle he made up ($25). Go to another bar, get drunk,($30) get in bar fight after Mark grabs some girls ass (Hope Erin isn't reading) and calls the chick's boyfriend a homo. Get a cab to the next bar ($15), open the door prematurely when Skippy rips a huge fart, watch another cab rip the passenger door off and a little dude who looks like the Heat Miser rant and rave and threaten me with a law suit ($2,500). Refuse to give my driver's license to the dumbass Cleveland cop because I did nothing wrong, pick the wrong cop this time, spend the night in Cuyahogo County Lock-up huddled up on a cold, hard concrete bench while some crackhead with headlice throws up on my shoes ($45). Have girlfriend wire bail money ($500) head down to tailgate freezing my ass off and still wearing same clothes as night before. Start drinking straight bourbon with Balpeen and doing shots of the Orange Shit with Hoorta until the pain and memeories of my night in jail with the crackhead goes away. Realize I spent all my cash the night before, steal $20 from the tip jar (+$20) so I can buy a hat and gloves before the frostbite sets in, wretch my back helping Roach move the 900 lb. grill that everyone else is too lazy, or smart, to help with, start borrowing pain pills and washing them down with bourbon, Orange Shit and beer until it is time time to eat. Enjoy delicious hamburger with all the trimmings, bratwurst, chips and cute little cookies with orange helmets on them. Wonder why it's not mixxing all that well with the pain pills, bourbon, Orange Shit and beer. Throw up in the tip jar (at least now they won't notice the missing $20). Start doing jello shots to get my "sea legs" back, walk two miles up a hill with a brutal wind in my face as the rain turns to sleet to snow to ice balls. Go to game ($80) only to see it is 14-0 Chargers before I take my frozen seat and 24-0 before I get my first frozen beer ($10). Drink five more frozen beers $(50) while Chargers run up score in record breaking fashion, realize people are at home laughing at my dumbass freezing in the cold, but stay until the very end hoping Bret Ratliff can engineer a field goal drive. He doesn't. Attempt to throw bottle, but it is frozen to glove. Throw glove with bottle in it and it hits the dude that Mark called a homo the night before. Run down the ramp, flag down a cab, Have him take me to a ATM and get me back to the hotel ($30). Take a scolding hot shower to get feeling back in my body, order room service ($35), notice that the gloveless hand is completely frostbitten and whack off to hotel softporn ($15) with my one good hand. Cab it to the airport, get back to town and miss work because I need treatment for the frostbite ($3,000), find out I missed a sale because I wasn't there ($10,000) and go in the next day still hungover and shitting orange with my arm in a sling. Total Bill $16,835.00

 

Hmmm ... I think I just need a little more time to think about it, boys.

 

Zombo

 

Wait, I forgot Howie and Garth will be there. Add two more bars ($60), one more arrest ($545) and eliminate the whacking off to softporn (+$15) because I break my one good arm ($3,000) on a drunken adventure involving a mechanical bull.

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Wait, I forgot Howie and Garth will be there. Add two more bars ($60), one more arrest ($545) and eliminate the whacking off to softporn (+$15) because I break my one good arm ($3,000) on a drunken adventure involving a mechanical bull.

 

 

Zombo, you missed your vocation, you should be in stand up. LOL.

 

Now stop being GAY and go buy a plane ticket. I will make sure that you don't get into fights, assault law enforcement, drink too much of Ballpeen and Hoorta's mystery beverages and will even buy you one of those warmie body suit things to keep you warm through the game. And like Stan said, this is a TOTAL TRAP GAME for the chargers. Book the flight NOW!

 

As I gave up drinking alcohol earlier this year I will also be able to keep a clean and sober eye on you for the weekend.

 

Ed, there may be about 4 extras coming with me and Gman, friends we met during the game last year. I will confirm on their behalf nearer the time. One of them is super hot so can you make sure Stan builds a fire 20 feet by 50 feet to generate enough heat for her to want to "get more comfortable" ;) I'm just thinking of Zombo you understand.

 

see you guys in a couple weeks - whoo hoooo.

 

Howie.

 

 

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Howie......

 

Have a great time!

 

I was so close to going to Detroit this year (it's 3 hours closer)........but with all of the passport bullshit right now can't make it. Enjoy buddy.......kick stan's arse in a game of corn hole........whatever the hell that is (still don't know).

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Zombo, you missed your vocation, you should be in stand up. LOL.

 

Now stop being GAY and go buy a plane ticket. I will make sure that you don't get into fights, assault law enforcement, drink too much of Ballpeen and Hoorta's mystery beverages and will even buy you one of those warmie body suit things to keep you warm through the game. And like Stan said, this is a TOTAL TRAP GAME for the chargers. Book the flight NOW!

 

As I gave up drinking alcohol earlier this year I will also be able to keep a clean and sober eye on you for the weekend.

 

Ed, there may be about 4 extras coming with me and Gman, friends we met during the game last year. I will confirm on their behalf nearer the time. One of them is super hot so can you make sure Stan builds a fire 20 feet by 50 feet to generate enough heat for her to want to "get more comfortable" ;) I'm just thinking of Zombo you understand.

 

see you guys in a couple weeks - whoo hoooo.

 

Howie.

 

I'd give drinking but I'm not a quitter :-).

 

You need to make sure Ed builds a large fire. Skippy doesn't do anything but stand around and look important and hide when there is real work to be done.

 

I can't believe that zombo is going to wuss out on this weekend.

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Guys, for the last time ... it was 78-degrees here today and sunny as hell, the temps haven't even began to dip.

 

... In fact, I got a sun tan on my drinking hand this morning while coaching baseball practice.

 

Zippy, don't forget the titty bar(s), ya might want to add another couple hundred, although if you somehow win the youth baseball fundraiser you can add $25 and a free oil change to a local Berea Auto Service center to the plus side.

 

That's it ... just to show you it won't be cold, I'm going shirtless for the game and shaving a giant 'B' in my fur.

 

ok ... I wasn't gonna use this tactic, but I suppose I should inform you that my liver is failing (probably), and this may be my last tailgate party before I die. My one wish is to see all my rowdy friends at one last tailgate party, freezing or whatever, but just to be there .... for me (sniff).

 

Geez Zippy, you haven't even seen my puppy yet and she's already turned 1 years old last Friday.

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Guys, for the last time ... it was 78-degrees here today and sunny as hell, the temps haven't even began to dip.

 

 

Bullshit. It was 50 degrees and they're talking about rain tonight.

 

 

I listen to a Cleveland radio station all day at work.

 

Zombo is still a homo for not coming though and I can't even talk about flugs. He's so far in hiding when this topic comes up we aren't likely to see him till spring.

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Wait, I forgot Howie and Garth will be there. Add two more bars ($60), one more arrest ($545) and eliminate the whacking off to softporn (+$15) because I break my one good arm ($3,000) on a drunken adventure involving a mechanical bull.

 

Hey Zombo, The weekend thread sounds like our last trip, just change a few names, but I reckon you got the total about right !! LOL

Would be great if you could make it, Howie and me will try to make sure you don't get arrested or beat up, but can't promise as we normally just about manage to look after ourselves ------- well, just avoid total liver failure anyway. With our hot English accents were sure to score, just a shame we're so old and ugly, sorry Howie, it had to be said !

Cannot wait now for this weekend as it stacking up to be most memorable, thanks for everyones interest and efforts so far, Stan, Ed etc.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Gang, the previous thread was fun, but i needed to start a fresh one to get a better handle on who will be attending. Don has promised to deliver some special (secret) cuts, so i wanted to be in the ballpark with headcount. Stan feel free to repeat the entire weekend itinerary here.

 

For far i have about 30 people including:

Mark, Russ, Howard, Gareth, ClevelandFanForLife, and Tink (+3). We're waiting to hear from Zombo, Flugs and Kamac19. How about Larry, Riffer, Shawn or Jarrod, others? Who else am i missing? It should be fun- looking to forward to seeing everyone.

 

roach

 

I've heard from both today. Shawn is in (+ guest), Jarrod probably not.

 

(Ed, I think we are a jinx. Everytimewe start to learn these two's dates/wifes names the realtionship sours for them.)

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Sounds like somebody is severely regretting their decision and hoping someone else makes one just as bad.

 

Let me look at this objectively:

 

Weekend of Dec. 6th

 

A. Buy girlfriend hot new bikini for the weekend ($50). Saturday, fill a cooler up with beer ($15) head to the beach with the top down (the car, not the girl ... yet),get a tan, watch the chicks, catch a buzz, go home have a nice dinner at home, watch a movie, have sex, sleep in. Sunday, fill up the cooler ($15)head to the beach, set up camp near a bar where I can catch some of the early games ($20),tan, girls, buzz ... head to open air bar on 80* day to watch the Browns game, enjoy pizza, beer and girlfriend while Browns lose, ($80) laugh at dumbass fans freezing in the cold, go home, make a movie, sleep in, go to work rested and happy. Total bill: $180.00

 

B. Buy a plane ticket to Cleveland ($250), pack the only warm clothes I have into a big heavy bag, lug it through airport security after they throw out all of my toiletries and do a full cavity search because I'm dark and hairy. Fly to cleveland, step outside and immediately freeze my nuts off. Skippy picks me up in his plastic pants and whisks me off to the hotel ($200) where Mark is already drunk in the lobby and calling everyone in earshot a "homo". Go to a bar where all the girls are wearing three layers of clothing, shoot pool and watch the college games ($50) while Skippy hits me up for some little league raffle he made up ($25). Go to another bar, get drunk,($30) get in bar fight after Mark grabs some girls ass (Hope Erin isn't reading) and calls the chick's boyfriend a homo. Get a cab to the next bar ($15), open the door prematurely when Skippy rips a huge fart, watch another cab rip the passenger door off and a little dude who looks like the Heat Miser rant and rave and threaten me with a law suit ($2,500). Refuse to give my driver's license to the dumbass Cleveland cop because I did nothing wrong, pick the wrong cop this time, spend the night in Cuyahogo County Lock-up huddled up on a cold, hard concrete bench while some crackhead with headlice throws up on my shoes ($45). Have girlfriend wire bail money ($500) head down to tailgate freezing my ass off and still wearing same clothes as night before. Start drinking straight bourbon with Balpeen and doing shots of the Orange Shit with Hoorta until the pain and memeories of my night in jail with the crackhead goes away. Realize I spent all my cash the night before, steal $20 from the tip jar (+$20) so I can buy a hat and gloves before the frostbite sets in, wretch my back helping Roach move the 900 lb. grill that everyone else is too lazy, or smart, to help with, start borrowing pain pills and washing them down with bourbon, Orange Shit and beer until it is time time to eat. Enjoy delicious hamburger with all the trimmings, bratwurst, chips and cute little cookies with orange helmets on them. Wonder why it's not mixing all that well with the pain pills, bourbon, Orange Shit and beer. Throw up in the tip jar (at least now they won't notice the missing $20). Start doing jello shots to get my "sea legs" back, walk two miles up a hill with a brutal wind in my face as the rain turns to sleet to snow to ice balls. Go to game ($80) only to see it is 14-0 Chargers before I take my frozen seat and 24-0 before I get my first frozen beer ($10). Drink five more frozen beers $(50) while Chargers run up score in record breaking fashion, realize people are at home laughing at my dumbass freezing in the cold, but stay until the very end hoping Bret Ratliff can engineer a field goal drive. He doesn't. Attempt to throw bottle, but it is frozen to glove. Throw glove with bottle in it and it hits the dude that Mark called a homo the night before. Run down the ramp, flag down a cab, Have him take me to a ATM and get me back to the hotel ($30). Take a scolding hot shower to get feeling back in my body, order room service ($35), notice that the gloveless hand is completely frostbitten and whack off to hotel softporn ($15) with my one good hand. Cab it to the airport, get back to town and miss work because I need treatment for the frostbite ($3,000), find out I missed a sale because I wasn't there ($10,000) and go in the next day still hungover and shitting orange with my arm in a sling. Total Bill $16,835.00

 

Hmmm ... I think I just need a little more time to think about it, boys.

 

Zombo

 

 

I vote for option B. I have to say Zombo, I laughed so hard that I got cramps in my sides and I think I may have actually went blind for a second.

 

I'd sell a kidney to see you in the lock up. I'd buy you new shoes with the kidney money and pay for real porn for you to rent, oh wait both arms will be decommishoned.

 

You really did miss your calling. You gotta throw these guys a bone and give them the pleasure of your company.

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