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THE BROWNS BOARD

New Moon Review


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The Twilight Saga New Moon

Summit Ent.

PG 13 130 min

 

 

 

Yeah I know; I knew the last time. Stephanie Meyer didn’t have me in mind when she wrote the popular Twilight series of teen vampire novels. These are clearly aimed at younger women and women who wish they were younger.

There’s nothing wrong with that and I’m going to guess that misunderstood high school girls will absolutely love it. But…

I wasn’t particularly thrilled with the last one TWILIGHT, but did feel that the extra money the box office generated would afford the producers the opportunity to make the subsequent episodes better.

Well they did. Kinda.

At least the things money can buy are a little nicer. The overall cinematography looks a little classier and there are a couple FX thrown in but all in all if you liked the last one you’ll like this one. Though they’re not worthy of scorn, I haven’t liked either one very much.

Unlike many bad flicks the storyline is not all that bad. Kristen Stewart is Bella, your typical angst ridden teenage girl who fell in love with an angst ridden teenage vampire in the last episode. Well now it’s time for him to move on since it’s becoming apparent he and his vampire family aren’t getting any older and like Joan Rivers they aren’t fooling anybody. So now Bella, as heartbroken as only a teenage girl can be, is pining away but there’s good news and bad news. The good news is that she finally strikes up a romance with Jacob (Taylor Lautner) a studly young Indian (the peace pipe kind not the snake charmer kind). The bad news is that he’s a werewolf.

These tribal shape shifters turn into wolves when they’re threatened or angry so there’s no safe period between full moons.

The wolves are taking the blame for some mysterious killings that are actually the handiwork of the bad vampires since the good ones moved on.

Well of course the good vampires return to set things straight and that means Jacobs’ rival, the Edward (Robert Pattison) is back. Luckily there’s some treaty between the werewolves and vampires that keeps the two guys from ripping each other to shreds but wait...

...That treaty is null and void if a human gets bitten. So if Bella is to remain with Edward throughout eternity she must become one of the undead right? And how does that happen? Correct. Ed’s gotta bite her. So that’s the cliffhanger for episode three.

The problem is the snail-like pacing and the acting, which is just barely good enough for a Mentos commercial.

At 1:30 minutes this film really drags along and the constant whining of Bella and the rest just seems to slow it down more.

C-

WSS

 

Email westsidesteve@aol.com

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Well, Steve, I saw it with my teenage daughter, and you are right, if it weren't for the chick in the middle that they all make a fuss over, this would be a pretty good tale between two "lost boys" of different genres.

I mean, the girl is kinda cute, but hell, if they were gonna make this much fuss over her she at least could have had a better rack....I mean, something worth fighting over, right?

Though the one interesting thing about her is that apparently she is immune to the powers of the vampires. Edward can't read her mind. The one bad vampire chick from Italy couldn't cause her pain like she could everyone else.

Hopefully, they will do a little better in developing those story lines in the future, and a little less of the mooning and pining they did in this last flick.

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