Woof Woof: Fantasy Football Playoff Follies Week 13

[kshutchins]

Beanpot's League One:

 

This League has been an absolute doozy for the entire fantasy football season! The top six teams are currently vying for the four slots in the championship round of the playoffs. Only ONE team, the Jumpin' Jack Flash at 9-4-0, is a sure thing despite losing this week to the 12th place Peyton's Zombies, 87-80.

 

Huskymania, Flug's Cardiac Kids, and T's Jelly Donuts are all hanging on with 8-5-0 records, having defeated their Week Thirteen opponents. Hoping to be spoilers, Beanpot and Alo (alwAysLOsing) are still in the hunt with 7-5-1 and 7-6-0 records respectively. The only team in the bunch that didn't win this week, was Beanpot, who took a 119-87 beating from Huskymania, but still manages to have scored the most points in the league. Beanpot holds the scoring record at 1229 total points for the season so far. Next in the scoring category is Huskymania at 1214.

 

All of this sets the stage for an intriguing Week 14:

The #1 Jumpin' Jack Flash faces #2 Huskymania: In this critical matchup, we are watching eagerly to see if the Flash will leave Hines Ward on the roster. Ward is questionable with a hamstring injury and is projected to score zero points. Flash has WR's Jericho Cotchery and Eddie Royal along with TE Anthony Fasano available so it's a simple matter of juggling the roster. Since this matchup has critical implications in the battle for the playoffs, we're looking for Flash to play his best team even though he appears to have a lock on the top seed. Is Hines Ward the best choice? You be the judge.

 

#3 Flug's Cardiac Kids meet the #4 T's Jelly Donuts: The Jelly's have properly declared, "This is do or die!" Is this a preview of the championship playoffs, or will one of these teams drop to the consolation round? As lineups are currently set, the guru favors Flug's team by 6. Drew Brees, Larry Fitzgerald, Tony Gonzalez, and Sidney Rice look like sure starters for Flugs. Beanie Wells appears to be in as a starting RB. Julius Jones is currently slotted to fill the second RB spot but NO Mike Bell is also available. What to do, what to do? K Jay Feely and Philadelphia's defense round out the team. T's Jelly Donuts have their work cut out for them. Donovan McNabb, Jeremy Maclin, Knowshon Moreno, Chris Brown, Brent Celek, Ryan Grant, Matt Prater and Green Bay's defense, are projected to start for the Donuts.

 

#5 Beanpot will battle #6 alwAysLOsing: Beanpot is currently favored 99-78 but as the standings should indicate, it's an "any given Sunday" sort of league. Anything could happen and we'll be on the edge of our seats.

 

The consolation round is also not yet decided. "Consolation round?" you ask? Teams ranked 5-8 in the standings face off for runners up honors. DTBH and Ballantyne Buckeyes are currently slotted at the 7 and 8 seeds but anything can happen. It will be DTBH vs. The Usual Suspects and Ballantyne Buckeys matched up against Calfox KosarDawgs. Insert Clever Name will attempt to fight off GREENville Mayhem while Navdawg's Browns battle Peyton's Zombies in a quest for the wine cellar keys.

 

Hold on to your hats; It's going to be a bumpy ride!

 

*1. Jumpin' Jack Flash 9-4-0 .692 1179 L-1 2 6

2. Huskymania 8-5-0 .615 1214 W-3 12 23

3. Flug's Cardiac Kids 8-5-0 .615 1090 W-3 13 22

4. T's Jelly Donuts 8-5-0 .615 975 W-2 7 20

5. Beanpot 7-5-1 .577 1229 L-1 9 14

6. alwAysLOsing 7-6-0 .538 1011 W-4 1 13

7. Ballantyne Buckeyes 6-7-0 .462 1151 L-2 3 10

8. DTBH 6-7-0 .462 1083 L-3 8 7

9. The Usual Suspects 6-7-0 .462 1026 L-2 11 22

10. Insert Clever Name 6-7-0 .462 1026 L-4 10 13

11. GREENville Mayhem 5-7-1 .423 919 W-2 4 9

12. Peyton's Zombies 5-8-0 .385 994 W-1 6 15

13. Calfox KosarDawgs 5-8-0 .385 920 L-2 14 24

14. Navdawg's Browns 4-9-0 .308 963 W-1 5 14

 

Pot 'o Beans League Two:

#1 Bo and the Boz squeaked by the 9th place feline sensation, Oreo's Team, 99-94. Hines Ward, as yet unfettered by his hamstring, managed 17 points and Carolina's defense hammered out 19 to help Oreo exceed expectations. Boz, favored by 20 points going into the matchup, found himself scrambling for every point. Had Oreo started QB David Garrard (16) instead of Jay Cutler (8), the outcome would have been different. When asked why Cutler was the choice to start, Oreo calmly stuck to her guns, "I believe you always dance with the one that brung ya."

 

#2 dirty hands has clinched a championship shot but lost to the #11 The Hammer in a total trap game 99-103. The Hammer managed the victory even though DeAngelo Williams did not play. Brent Celek and Reggie Wayne were major underachievers for dirty hands.

 

#3 Lambdo's Air Show smacked #4 hammertime 102-74, earning the Toyota Blowout award for League Two this week. Lambdo and hammertime, both at 8-5-0, are hoping to fend off Bermeck's Hicks and Choo Choos to secure the final two championship round slots.

 

The Consolation Round is undecided. Key matchups this week include:

hammertime vs. dirty hands: This one looks like a walk in the park for hands; The guru predicts a 111-75 result with hammertime on the losing end.

 

Lambdo's Air Show goes up against the Double D's: Airshow is favored 84-72 so a win for the D's would be an upset.

 

Bermeck's KY Hicks will go at it with Beanpot, who's trying to hang onto a consolation round berth. Oreo's Team will have claws out trying to drag Justin Hermouf down and out of the running. Choo Choo's are looking at a total trap game against the last place Fried Turkeys.

 

*1. Bo and the Boz 10-2-1 .808 1354 W-1 9 20

*2. dirty hands 10-3-0 .769 1319 L-1 7 5

3. Lambdo's Air Show 5 8-5-0 .615 1144 W-2 4 11

4. hammertime 8-5-0 .615 1092 L-1 5 4

5. Bermeck's Ky Hicks-* 7-6-0 .538 1119 W-2 1 2

6. Choo Choo's 7-6-0 .538 1025 W-2 8 17

7. Justin Hermouf 6-6-1 .500 1018 L-2 12 18

8. Beanpot 6-7-0 .462 1137 W-2 3 15

9. Oreo's Team 6-7-0 .462 968 L-2 6 6

10. Double D's 4-9-0 .308 981 L-2 10 15

11. The Hammer 3-10-0 .231 959 W-1 2 7

12. Fried Turkeys 2-11-0 .154 987 L-6 11 21

 

Flugel’s League 3 – Week 13 Last Call for Playoffs

Charlie’s Angels 116 Waiting for Noodles 91

Anquan Boldin, Miles Austin and Andre Johnson combined 25 points, 22 points and 19 points respectively to slow cook the Noodles. Santonio Holmes scored 23 and Aaron Rodgers added 21 but it wasn’t enough. The Angels not only improved to 5-8 but they also took home the Viagra Award and earned their wings for beating a playoff hopeful. The Noodles dropped to 6-6-1 with a need to win against Kibbles and Vicks in the final week. They also have to hope DangeRuss lights up those hot Ryders from Rice. The playoff picture is all set except for the 4th and final spot.

 

Victory Formation 93 Dot the I 62

I’m not sure if it would have made any difference but Dot the I took a sabbatical from sobriety last weekend to attend the weekend festivities and tailgate party in Cleveland. Victory Formation doesn’t care if you show-up sauced or with sledge hammers because they Larry Fitzgerald can score 23 points, Vernon Davis can score 19 points while 4 more teammates can hit double digit scores. Pierre Garcon scored 15 points for Dot the I while the rest of their team drank beer and ate Roach’s ribs. Okay, not HIS ribs the ones he was cooking. Victory Formation is in 3rd place with a chance to finish the regular season in first place if things fall into place for them. Meanwhile, Dot the I can make the playoffs if they beat Charlie’s Angels and both Waiting for Noodles and Rice’s Ryders lose.

 

Team DangeRuss 98 Believeland 84

DangeRuss got 25 points from Tony Romance and 21 points from Hot Rod White as they brought winning game and enough Gatorade to drench their Coach afterward. Joseph Addai countered with 21 points and Calvin Johnson added 20 but it wasn’t enough for Believeland to stealth their way into 1st place much to the delight of Project Showtime. They are in 2nd place at 9-2-2. As DangeRuss heats up for their final outing this weekend, guess who stands in the way of Rice’s Ryders making the playoffs? Somehow you get the feeling DangeRuss wants to be serenaded off the field next week to the eerie sound of Boris Karloff singing: “You’re a mean one Mr Grinch!” This is why you PLAY fantasy football and lift all those Doritos…

 

Rice’s Ryders 97 Runn Uu Over 93

This backyard brawl had playoff atmosphere so it’s kind of surprising most of the points were provided in Cleveland. Brady Quinn took offense to a season of criticism and then to the end zone as he led the way with 21 points for the winning team. Meanwhile, Antonio Gates contributed 19 points and Darren Sproles added 14 more. The Ryders improved to 6-5-2 as they enjoy a half game advantage over the next highest ranked team in contention for a playoff spot. The picture gets as clear as this: if the Ryders win their next game they will qualify for the playoffs. Runn Uu Over fell to 5-8 in spite of the impressive brawling they got from 2 Cowboys wearing shit-kickers and dirty jockstraps. Jason Witten and Roy Williams combined for 46 points in this shootout. Unfortunately, they found out you don’t win against Quinn when he has bigger guns.

 

Calfox KosarDawgs 96 Kibbles and Vicks 66

After a little shakey-shakey from some Shockey-shockey, Calfox replaced the wrong Jeremy with the right Jeremy (Maclin) for some points instead of pouts. Perhaps even better, he started Robert Meachem instead of Robert Mitchum and got 29 points for his good thinking. That type of thinking led to victory as his KosarDawgs improved to 5-8. Kibbles countered with some spirited efforts from Brandon Marshall (19 points) and Drew Brees (18 Points) before falling to 3-10. Kibbles and Vicks firmly understand they could become significant to the playoff picture by winning their last game so that Waiting for Noodles is waiting for next year.

 

Flugelmaniacs 97 Project Showtime 89

Ochocinco led all celebrations with a Mexican sombrero on his dome after treating the Flugelmaniacs to his winning effort of 24 points. Wes Welker’s 21 points and Philip Rivers’ 19 points wasn’t enough to prevent Project Showtime from falling to 10-3. Since they already had a playoff spot secured they’re not losing any sleep over it. If they want to finish the regular season in 1st place, they better win their final match-up vrs Calfox or Believeland or Victory Formation could end up in 1st. The Maniacs were happy to improve to 5-7-1 after being in last past for a considerable portion of the season.

 

The Turbo Twelve

1. Project Showtime 10-3-0 1314 pts *

2. Believeland 9-2-2 1197 pts *

3. Victory Formation 9-3-1 1232 pts *

4. Rice’s Ryders 6-5-2 1012 pts

5. Waiting for Noodles 6-6-1 1116 pts

6. Dot the I 6-6-1 868 pts

7. Flugelmaniacs 5-7-1 1159 pts

8. Calfox KosarDawgs 5-8-0 1159 pts

9. Charlie’s Angels 5-8-0 1065 pts

10. Runn Uu Over 5-8-0 1018 pts

11. Team DangeRuss 5-8-0 977 pts

12. Kibbles and Vicks 3-10 977 pts

 

* = clinched playoff berth

 

The Heidi Report League Four:

 

It's that time of year again. Winds of Winter are blowing (boy are they blowing). People are feeling a bit more generous and giving. Children trying not to get on the naughty list. And teams are climbing over each other to get a playoff spot in Fantasy Sports.

In League 4, 3 teams have clinched their spots. FBrulz, Doctors of Gridiron and Ballantyne Behemoths. They have been good little head coaches and are definitely on Santa's nice list.

 

My Helmet's 2Tight 84

LCDawgfan13 102

 

Ballantyne Behemoths 94

WPBDawgFan 90

 

Doctors of Gridiron 74

One Man Wolf Pac 112

 

Brownies 91

Brown'sFanInDallas 58

 

WV Hoopies 92

Timugen's Tool 78

 

FBrulz 102

BOHICA 66

 

My Helmet's 2Tight 7-6-0: Joseph Addai 21, Drew Brees 18

LCDawgfan13 8-5-0: Tony Romo 25, Hines Ward 17

 

Ballantyne Behemoths 9-4-0: Santonio Holmes 23, Tom Brady 15

WPBDawgFan 5-8-0: Chad Ochocinco 24, Brandon Marshall 19

 

Doctors of Gridiron 9-4-0: Anquan Boldin 25, Donovan McNabb & Steven Jackson both with 11

One Man Wolf Pac 5-8-0: Philip Rivers and Andre Johnson both with 19, Percy Harvin 18

This was Toyota's Biggest Fantasy Blowout game with a + 38 points

 

Brownies 5-8-0: Miles Austin 22, Wes Welker and Roddy White both with 21

Brown'sFanInDallas 4-9-0: Chris Johnson 14, Brett Farve 13

 

WV Hoopies 4-9-0: Roy Williams 22, Antonio Gates 19

Timugen's Tool 5-8-0: Jason Witten 24, Aaron Rodgers 21

 

FBrulz 10-3-0: Kurt Warner and Larry Fitzgerald both with 23, Randy Moss 12

BOHICA 7-6-0: LaDainian Tomlinson 12, Payton Manning, Greg Jennings and Dan Carpenter 3 way tie with 11

 

Standings:

*1. FBrulz 10-3-0 .769 1201 W-1

*2. Doctors of Gridiron 9-4-0 .692 1177 L-1

*3. Ballantyne Behemoths 9-4-0 .692 1151 W-1

4. LCDawgfan13 8-5-0 .615 1042 W-1

5. My Helmet's 2Tight 7-6-0 .538 1077 L-1

6. BOHICA 7-6-0 .538 1019 L-2

7. Timugen's Tool 5-8-0 .385 1135 L-1

8. WPBDawgFan 5-8-0 .385 1028 L-2

9. Brownies 5-8-0 .385 1010 W-1

10. One Man Wolf Pac 5-8-0 .385 949 W-3

11. WV Hoopies 4-9-0 .308 906 W-2

12. Brown'sFanInDallas 4-9-0 .308 856 L-1

 

Good Luck to everyone in the playoff hunt!

 

Brownies, Beat those Steelers!

[Beanpot]

The #1 Jumpin' Jack Flash faces #2 Huskymania: In this critical matchup, we are watching eagerly to see if the Flash will leave Hines Ward on the roster. Ward is questionable with a hamstring injury and is projected to score zero points. Flash has WR's Jericho Cotchery and Eddie Royal along with TE Anthony Fasano available so it's a simple matter of juggling the roster. Since this matchup has critical implications in the battle for the playoffs, we're looking for Flash to play his best team even though he appears to have a lock on the top seed. Is Hines Ward the best choice? You be the judge.

 

Great stuff Kathy. Yeah, even though the outcome of this game won't affect my team one bit (win and in) it'll be worth looking at the Jack/Husky match-up. We have a father/son match-up where the son has already earned a playoff spot and the father is knocking on the door and assured of one with a victory this week.

 

We can only hope Jumpin' Jack won't keep Ward in his line-up if it's clear he won't play or be effective.

 

Beanpot

 

 

[Chicopee John]

The #1 Jumpin' Jack Flash faces #2 Huskymania: In this critical matchup, we are watching eagerly to see if the Flash will leave Hines Ward on the roster. Ward is questionable with a hamstring injury and is projected to score zero points. Flash has WR's Jericho Cotchery and Eddie Royal along with TE Anthony Fasano available so it's a simple matter of juggling the roster. Since this matchup has critical implications in the battle for the playoffs, we're looking for Flash to play his best team even though he appears to have a lock on the top seed. Is Hines Ward the best choice? You be the judge.

 

Great stuff Kathy. Yeah, even though the outcome of this game won't affect my team one bit (win and in) it'll be worth looking at the Jack/Husky match-up. We have a father/son match-up where the son has already earned a playoff spot and the father is knocking on the door and assured of one with a victory this week.

 

We can only hope Jumpin' Jack won't keep Ward in his line-up if it's clear he won't play or be effective.

 

Beanpot

 

 

Are you suggesting the old man needs help from the rug rat to win?

 

PS These weekly summaries are soooooooo much fun to read!!!!

 

[Beanpot]

Oh, I'm not suggesting that at all. It's a damn fact. The rug rat has owned the league from day one and you don't stand a chance without a gift or three. In fact, I say you lose even if he starts two guys who don't play this week.

 

Beanpot

[Chicopee John]

Oh, I'm not suggesting that at all. It's a damn fact. The rug rat has owned the league from day one and you don't stand a chance without a gift or three. In fact, I say you lose even if he starts two guys who don't play this week. Beanpot

 

My team has been coming on like gangbusters the last few weeks and the projected point total is WAY understated.

 

 

On th other hand, Jack just got his driver's learner's permit and he needs to acknowledge where the resources are coming from.

[ATENEARS]

THIS JUST IN .... ATENEARS IS MAKING A MOVE IN THE NBA FANTASY LEAGUE ....

[Zombo]

Oh, I'm not suggesting that at all. It's a damn fact. The rug rat has owned the league from day one and you don't stand a chance without a gift or three. In fact, I say you lose even if he starts two guys who don't play this week.

 

Beanpot

 

I waxed the floor with Junior last week, if his old man can't handle him then I've lost all respect...

 

Zombo

[Chicopee John]

I waxed the floor with Junior last week, if his old man can't handle him then I've lost all respect...

 

Zombo

 

That's great news. I didn't think there was any respect left, Johnny M.

 

[Mr. T]

I can only hope that my guys out perform what they are supposed to get in points, its been tough without Ronnie Brown, But only if Chris Brown can fill the shoes of Slayton being on the IR do I have a chance. Then if NcNabb goes off and does the McNasty to the Giants it will be a done deal.

 

But between the two matchups Flugs cardiac Kids, one of us is going to have cardiac arrest.

[Chicopee John]

I waxed the floor with Junior last week, if his old man can't handle him then I've lost all respect...

 

Zombo

 

This is Jumpin' Jack-

 

While you're thinking about next year's team I'll be playing my way to a championship. Enjoy the off-season.

[Zombo]

This is Jumpin' Jack-

 

While you're thinking about next year's team I'll be playing my way to a championship. Enjoy the off-season.

 

Ouch.

 

Zombo

--Gotta root for you to go all the way so I can say I beat the champ. (and his dad)

[Flugel]

Ouch.

 

Zombo

--Gotta root for you to go all the way so I can say I beat the champ. (and his dad)

 

 

LOL! What a basterd!

- Tom F.