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This Week in the AFC North


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As you all know, normally I am not one to blow my own horn ... and not just because I'm not double-jointed ... but in preparation for today's prediction we must first travel in a time machine to a prediction I made long ago ... November 15th, 20009 ... back when the Gators were unbeatable, Tiger was sqeaky clean, and the Pittsburgh Steelers were a well-respected defending-champion 6-2 team:


"Cincinnati at Pittsburgh 1PM

Everyone keeps asking the Great Zombini if Cincinnati is for real and the answer is "kinda" ... they are pretty solid, but not Super Bowl contenders by any means. But one thing is for sure ... they are better than Pittsburgh. The Steelers are a joke. They come in 6-2 due to some easy opponents and fortunate bounces, but this team is a shell of its former self. The running game is practically non-existent, the o-line ranks among the league worst, and Big Ben continues to play timidly, afraid to take the inevitable hits behind the suspect line. Even their defense and special teams are not special anymore ... let alone "super". The Bengals are playing with a lot of fire and consistency on both sides of the ball, look for them to deliver a crushing blow in Pittsburgh this week ... and mark it as the beginning of the once-proud Steeler franchise's return to its mediocre roots. The Steelers will head south in a hurry. BUNGLES 21 STEELERS 13"


Yep, that's right, Steeler fans, I'm just a "comedian". That's why only the Great Zomboni saw this train about to barrel right off the tracks. Only "The Great One" had the balls to say that not only will you lose to Cincy, but this will snowball into humiliating losses to teams like Oakland and Kansas City, and this team, and this franchise, will never ever ever ever ever recover and be the same.


"the Steelers are a joke"


"this team is a shell of its former self"


"mark it as the beginning of the once-proud Steeler franchise's return to it mediocre roots."


"The Steelers will head south in a hurry"


OK, Steeler fans, you are on the ropes now, out of jokes, out of snide comments, afraid to lift your heads up ... oh, but don't look now, here comes the knockout punch...


What's this?? OH NO .... Not the "ZOMBONI GUARANTEE" ... not with the Browns at 1-11 ... he wouldn't ... you have the Steeler fans down, Zombo, don't pull out the "guarantee" now ... not on these Browns ... don't do it!!! ..................


**********************************************ZOMBONI GUARANTEE *******************************************************************

Pittsburgh at Cleveland, Thursday Night Football

Eric Mangini has had some huge roster holes to fill with players off the streets this year, but you gotta love how he has done it ... He has gone out and found "football players" not the kind that sign rookie contracts and try and stay healthy til the next contract, but the kind that are hungry as hell and would give their left nut to start for an NFL team, players like LB Matt Roth and TE Evan Moore ... and lo and behold, the Browns are playing a much better brand of football since the bye, hanging tough with playoff-bound SD and showing promise on both sides of the ball. And in Brady Quinn they may have finally found a franchise QB, he is showing accuracy and poise and play-making ability ... but he is missing something ... he's missing a moment. A career-defining win, where everyone says "OK ... now we have a quarterback". Enter the bumbling, stumbling Pittsburgh Steelers. The team that has haunted the hell out of the proud Browns franchise as it has frustratingly floundered since its return a decade ago. Quinn has been playing well with a cast of virtual strangers the past few weeks, and as they get more more and more comfortable he runs into a Steeler team with rookies on the corners, a hole at safety, and a confidence problem heading into a cold snowy night along the lakefront. The lakefront that used to host annual Steeler beatdowns in any condition. The lakefront where the fans refuse to give up, refuse to turn their back on their team, refuse to cry and whine. The lakefront where they need a hero. Brady Quinn, this is your moment ... shred'em. And yes, Quinn, and the no-name cast of football players the Browns are bringing in, WILL do exactly that. They will turn this bitch around. By shredding the Steeler franchise back to its mediocre roots live on National TV. Bye Bye bitches, hope you enjoyed your run. Not on our turf ... not anymore. BROWNS 34 STEELERS 13


**********************************************ZOMBONI GUARANTEE********************************************************************




--I don't know who the Bungles and Rats play this week and I don't care ... it's Steeler week.

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Screw sitting here at work ... I'm punching out early ... I gotta get downtown and get primed for this knock-out punch of the Squeelers.


can't wait to see those greasy-hair, toothless bastards hiding in the shadows of the stadium concourse like trolls under a bridge. Can't wait to see them file out with 8-minutes left, dragging terrible rag behind'em.


Trap Game? no, not this week ... this is gonna be a straight up win right in the opponents face. We are coming, it's advertised, the writing is all over the wall. It's man-up time!

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