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Woof Woof: Fantasy Football Playoff Follies Kick off


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Beanpot's League One:

Championship Round:

jumpinjackflash.jpgJumpin' Jack Flash (son) vs. Huskymania (dad)

Indianapolis WR Austin Collie threw down the gauntlet for Huskymania by registering 10 points. Jumpin' Jack Flash sipped eggnog nonchalantly as he ignored the opening gambit. The Flash is counting on the walking wounded QB, Tom Brady, to take charge of this championship run. Hines Ward, who is currently blaming his hamstring injury for his limited effectiveness against the Browns ::cough::, is also limping along in the lineup for Jack. Brett Favre is the field general for Huskymania and Rashard Mendenhall is in the 'mania lineup to counter the Hines Ward effect. Look out, Jack, did you see what dad put into that eggnog?

Saturday: New Orleans' defense and WR Robert Meachem added 10 points to Huskymania's lead. Score: 0-20.

All of Jumpin' Jack Flash's players have put in their time on the gridiron, having totaled 67 points (unofficial) Huskymania stands at 54 points with two players to play: Minnesota RB Adrian Peterson and Brett Favre.

Beanpot vs. Flug's Cardiac Kids

beanpothockey.jpgBeans kicked off the matchup with gentlemanly candor, "Good luck, Flugs. It's been one hell of a season no matter what happens in the last two weeks!" Flug's responded in kind,"Good luck to you too Beans! Thanks for another fun season & congrats on making the playoffs!" Then Beanpot delivered the one two punch of Maurice Jones-Drew and Dallas Clark for 51 points. Flug's Cardiac Kids were left reeling and hopeful that Larry Fitzgerald and Sidney Rice, both listed as questionable, will be into championship form by kickoff on Sunday.

Saturday: Beanpot smacked Flug's around by piling on an additional 22 points from Dallas WR, Miles Austin. Flug's fought back with his purse by tallying 6 points from Drew Brees. The score currently stands at 73-6.


Consolation Round:

mayhem_icon2-1.jpgGreenville Mayhem vs. T's Jelly Donuts

Both teams were inactive for the opening game on Thursday night. jelly_donut.jpgT's Jelly Donuts are maintaining Mangini/Belichick-like secrecy regarding their starting lineup. Mayhem is so confident that Tony Romo and Wes Welker can lead the team to victory that the coach/gm will be spending the day baking nut and poppyseed rolls. When the weather clears, the last of the holiday shopping will commence. Though no snow is on the ground, frigid temperatures have confined Mayhem to indoor preparations for game day.

Saturday: Greenville Mayhem was happy with the 13 point effort of Dallas' Tony Romo but disappointed by the meager 4 points from New Orleans RB, Reggie Bush. The Saints didn't show up as expected. Score: 17-0. T's Jelly Donuts are saving themselves for Sunday.

DTBH vs. alwAysLOsing

These teams have the same 7-7-0 record DTBH is heavily favored 91-73. This is a rematch for the teams who met in week 12. ALO won in that first meeting so DTBH appears to be pulling out all the stops to assure a win. Matt Shaub, Brandon Marshall and a probable Frank Gore will start for DTBH. ALO is hoping Aaron Rodgers, Randy Moss and DeSean Jackson will be the keys to victory. The silence from both camps has been defeaning as they are both either grimly involved in game preparations and surreptitions plots to gain an advantage or they're off finishing shopping and getting an early start on holiday revelry. Which is it, fellas?

Saturday: Stockings were hung by the chimney with care. Score: Nada, Zip


potobeans.jpgFull o' Beans League Two

Championship Round:

Bo and the Boz vs. hammertime

nicehardwarehammercopy.jpgHammertime's Mike Sims-Walker struck the first blow, clobbering Bo and the Boz with 16 points. Since "Bo knows fantasy," HolyBoandtheBoz.jpgwe can only assume his lineup is always subject to change. Currently, Tom Brady, Anquan Boldin, Wes Welker, and Ray Rice seem to be the killer combination set to slug it out with hammertimes, Favre/LaDainian Tomlinson-lead team.

Saturday: Visions of sugarplums danced in their heads as the score remains: Bo and the Boz 0; hammertime 16.


Lambdo's Air Show 5 vs. dirtyhands_Full-1.jpgdirty hands

"PLayoffs! Hopefully Indy Faulters on Thursday night" declared Lambdo but he didn't get his wish as dirty hands' Peyton Manning, Reggie Wayne and Indy's defense piled on 56 points. Lambdo's no doubt hoping Aaron Rodgers and Randy Moss put on an air show of their own to get his team off the ground.

Saturday: New Orleans RB Pierre Thomas (9) fell one point short of projections for Lambdo's Air Show. Lambdo 9; dirty hands 56.


Consolation Round:

choo-choo-300x275.jpgChoo Choo's vs. Justin Hermouf

Choo Choo's Maurice Jones-Drew rolled out 26 points. Phillip Rivers, Greg Jennings, and Jason Whitten are on tap to add to that total. Justin Hermouf took Thursday off, giving his team time to either heal up or ruin their chances with holiday distractions. Justin is counting on Tony Romo, Sidney Rice and Tony Gonzalez to fight back.

Saturday: Justin Hermouf tried to close the distance with a 13 point Tony Romo effort. Choo Choo's enlarged his lead by countering with Jason Whitten (7) and Nick Folk (7). Choo Choo's 40; Hermouf 13.


Bermeck's Ky Hicks-* vs. Beanpot

This contest got off to a slow start. Tory Holt had two catches for 71 yards to register 5 points for the Hicks. Drew Brees and Brandon Marshall are the big guns for the Hicks. Beanpot, who is busily pouring over his pick 'em selections and baseball blogs, has Carson Palmer, Andre Johnson, and Knowhon Moreno among others, champing at the bit. The weak link for Beanpot appears to be Steven Jackson who is questionable with an injured back (herniated disk).

Saturday: Drew Brees (6) helped the Hicks inch ahead of Beanpot, 11-10.


Flugel’s League 3: A Caffeinated Update of Playoffs & Consolation



#1 Project Showtime 30

#4 Rice’s Ryders 10

Project Showtime got off to a nice start on Thursday Evening with 25 points from their superstar Dallas “In Chains” Clark. On Saturday Evening, Showtime got 5 more points from kicker Garrett Hartley while Rice’s Ryders received 10 points from Marques Colston. Based on the current projected starting lineups – the Yahoo version of Vegas expects the Showtime lineup of Philip Rivers, Chris Johnson, Ray Rice, Wes Welker, Dallas Clark, Quinton Ganther, Garrett Hartley and the Bengals Defense to score 102 points. Dallas Clark overachieving his expectations by 14 points isn’t encouraging news for Rice’s Ryders. Speaking of those HOT Ryders from Rice, the following starters for RR are supposed to reach a sum of 71 points: Brady Quinn, Greg Jennings, Matt Forte, Julius Jones, Antonio Gates, Marques Colston, Rob Bironas, and the Chargers Defense.


#2 Victory Formation lining up for their 1st Kickoff Return

#3 Believeland 45

This is our version of a REMEMBER ME? BOWL. Hostility can either ignite ability into scoreboard production or it can fester into 1 gigantic distraction from the game plan. Last week’s outcome reminded me of a conversation between Jack Nicholson and Tom Cruise in a great movie when Jack confidently asked the prosecuting attorney “ARE WE CLEAR?” What he didn’t expect was a reply that was even more confident at one-third the volume: “Crystal.” The movie was “A Few Good Men” which is exactly what both sides need this week. Believeland is off to a great start with 19 points from Reggie Wayne, 16 points from Mike Sims-Walker and 6 points from Joseph Addai. Unfortunately for them, Reggie Bush’s hamstring pull on Saturday Night put a damper on the way they were exceeding the scoring projections. They are projected to score 90 points from the following estimated starters: Carson Palmer, Reggie Wayne, Joseph Addai, Adrian Peterson, Mike Sims-Walker, Reggie Bush, Mason Crosby and the Packers Defense. After Thursday, they are 6 points over their projections moving forward. Meanwhile, Victory Formation hasn’t thrown their first pass or extended their first handoff. They are supposed to collect 95 points from this anticipated star studded lineup: Donovan McNabb, DeSean Jackson, Thomas Jones, Jamaal Charles, Vernon Davis, Larry Fitzgerald, David Akers, and the Vikings Defense.



#5 Waiting for Noodles Awaiting opening kickoff

#8 Runn Uu OVer 8

Waiting for Noodles is favored to win by 8 points at a sum of 79 with their current starting lineup set: Aaron Rodgers, Vincent Jackson, Tim Hightower, DeAngelo Williams, Santonio Holmes, Bernard Berrian, Nate Kaeding, and the Jets Defense. On the other side of the battle, Runn Uu Over’s current projected lineup expects 71 points from the following players: Jay Cutler, Carolina Steve Smith, Ryan Grant, Michael Turner, Jason Witten, Roy Willams, Olindo Mare and the Ravens Defense. Looks like we’re a full 60 minutes away from hints and answers. There’s always 1 squid that wants to say “Hi Mom” into the cameras. Since most of the cameras are pointing at the playoff teams – we’ll help out our former Ohio State star Santonio Holmes. Because he’s sentenced to a black and gold uniform, an unnamed source thought they heard him say “I want my mommy.” I clarified that noise pollution came straight from the Clumsy Colicky Pittsburgh QB standing next to Holmes. Has the Cleveland home fans seen a better sight in the new millennium? Hail No! Sunday morning update: Runn Uu Over’s Saturday Night Cowboys Jason Witten (7) and Roy Williams (1) combined for 8 points. WFNs awaits possession #1 today. Stay tuned…


#6 Dot the I 6

#7 Charlie’s Angels 22

This is a Kinder, Gentler version of a Remember Me? Bowl. Dot the I received 6 points Thursday Night from Pierre Garcon (3) and the Colts Defense (3). They are projecting 68 points from Matt Schaub, Johnny Knox, Rashard Mendenhall, Kevin Faulk, Pierre Garcon, TO, Stephen Gostkowski and the Colts Defense. On the flipside, Charlie’s “We’re No” Angels are disappointed the Yahoos from Whoville are only slating them for 103 points. Not to be outdone in the trash-talk dept: DTI said “I got your 103 right here!” It almost feels like Conrad Dobler never retired folks. Shall we meet the faces behind this 103 points that are coming Federal Express this weekend? You know Dasher and Dancer and… Ooops, wrong list - sorry. Kurt Warner, Anquan Boldin, LT, Laurance Maroney, Andre Johnson, Miles Aus-tone, Dan Carpenter and the Broncos Defense. After scoring 22 points Saturday Night, Miles Aus-tone asked a post game interviewer: “do you think they’ll remember me?”



Congrats for being here and good luck to getting there!

Represent & God bless ya!



The Heidi Report:


::hiccup:: "... on the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Brian Sipe a' passin'..... SIPE415291.jpgBrian Sipe a'passin' ... Brian Sipe a' passin; (this dial-up is really slow....)"

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The unthinkable has happened.


A late pick up of Phil Dawson has motivated the troops of hammertime to an upset victory over Bo and the Boz.


Sending a #4 seed to the championship game for a rematch against Lambdo's Airshow 5.


Stay tuned.



Eh, I was just building for next year, anyway.





Good luck in the finals.

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