Zombo

Wake up you Pancake-eating Motherfuckers it's GAMEDAY!!! Final stop on the Revenge Tour takes us to Denver where ... Fuck Denver! Ya, it's been like 35 years, but Fuck Them! Browns Defense gonna keep rolling people, young QB gonna keep getting better. Here We Go, Brownies, Here We Go!!! Pittsburgh at Cincinnati 1:00 PM Throw out the QBs, because neither team has one ... and the Bungles are the better team. And they are home. Back up the truck on the Bungles BUNGLES 24 STEELERS 10 Cleveland at Denver 4:05 PM The light seemed to come on for DTR in the 4th Q last week. Our defense will give these guys fits. The streak continues ... BROWNS 21 BRONCOS 10 Baltimore at LA Chargers 8:20 PM, Sunday Night Football I know people don't like to bet on the Chargers because of the coach ... But I think talent-wise, they are built to beat Baltimore ... So, I've got no problem taking them. CHARGERS 27 RATBIRDS 19 Updated ZomBabe Standings Isabela Merced 7-4 Alexandra Daddario 4-4 Bryce Dallas Howard 4-4 Kate Upton 5-8

Wake up you Pancake-eating Motherfuckers, it's GAMEDAY!!! And ,more importantly, it's STEELER WEEK!!! Time to destroy those lucky, dirty, cheating, Chubb-injuring assholes and their toothless hankie-waving, possum-eating fans once and for all! Go get 'em, DTR, we got your back, Kid! HERE WE GO BROWNIES, HERE WE GO!!! Pittsburgh at Cleveland, 1:00 PM Our defense destroys them. DTR 2 passing TDs, 1 rushing TD, no turnovers. BROWNS 27 STEELERS 6 Updated ZomBabe Standings Isabela Merced 5-4 Alexandra Daddario 4-4 Bryce Dallas Howard 4-4 Kate Upton 5-8

What the heck ... BUNGLES 26 RATBIRDS 24 TGZ

Ah yes, Stillers are home. Same score, same story , except the nice people visit the lowlife's.

Well new ZomBabe Isabela Merced only got one right in her first chance ... but it was the Right one, so she continues on. And the Browns move on to a bird of a darker feather. No more cute Cardinals flitting around, we have an attack of the flying ratbirds ... So what happens now? Houston at Cincinnati, 1:00 PM C.J. Stroud making OSU Proud. Balling out with no pressure. Not only will they cover in the Nati, but they pull off the improbable upset. TEXANS 33 BUNGLES 31 Pittsburgh at Green Bay, Sunday, 1:00 PM You know, Wisconsin people are so nice, and here come these toothless towel-waving lowlifes from Pennsyltucky to invade their little town. The Steelers usually find a way to beat the crap teams. I guess we can call them the Kings of the Crap Teams STEELERS 22 PACKERS 17 Cleveland at Baltimore, Sunday, 1:00 PM With their leader back in the offensive cockpit, the Browns are looking for a little Ratbird Revenge today. I can't pick against this Browns defense, they are outstanding on every level. And don't worry about playing two green tackles on offense ... Coach Callahan is the best in the business, he'll get them through this game. BROWNS 13 RATBIRDS 13 TGZ Updated ZomBabe Standings Alexandra Daddario 4-4 Bryce Dallas Howard 4-4 Kate Upton 5-8 Isabela Merced 1-3

Just one. Z

Ya great Job MJP. Oh by the way ... ZOMBO correctly predicted our first shutout in 16 years. Z

The Browns are back in Cleveland for some home cooking this week, so we found a hometown girl to be the next ZomBabe ... Isabela Merced. Hopefully she sticks around awhile. Arizona at Cleveland, Sunday 1:00 PM The Browns are home against a 1-7 team having a rookie qb start his first game against the League's #1 defense ... If we don't destroy yhem, something's wrong. BROWNS 32 CARDINALS 0 Seattle at Baltimore, Sunday 1:00 PM Don't look now but the Seahawks are in first place and just beefed up their defensive line. The Rats are also in first ... but not for long. Seahawks 23 Ratbirds 20 Buffalo at Cincinnati, Sunday Night Football, 8:20 PM Bills will be out to revenge last year's playoff loss, and I see them doing it by more than a touchdown. BILLS 34 BUNGLES 24. Updated ZomBabe Standings Alexandra Daddario 4-4 Bryce Dallas Howard 4-4 Kate Upton 5-8 Isabela Merced 0-1

The brownies are on a Winning Streak! And no one is to be credited more than our very own Kate Upton! She has outlasted her husband's baseball team, now she needs to get past a West Coast road game ... Jacksonville at Pittsburgh, Sunday, 1:00 PM Two teams that I currently have on the over-rated side of the ledger, but one is more over-rated than the other. JAGUARS 24 STEELERS 20 Cleveland at Seattle, Sunday, 4:05 PM Even when the Browns defense is "bad" ... They are great. Time for Geno Smith to find out. BROWNS 21 SEAKAWKS 10 Baltimore at Arizona, 4:25 PM Arizona "fights hard" every week. Ya ... and loses. RAVENS 27 CARDINALS 10 Cincinnati at San Francisco, 4:25 PM The Browns defense fucked up SF so bad they couldn't get over their Browns hangover last week. But they should be back to normal at home versus the Pussycats. 49ERS 44 BUNGLES 20 TGZ

My only option is that ir should be called exclusively the Brotherly Shove. No grown man should ever have to say "tush push". Z

Updated ZomBabe Standings Alexandra Daddario 4-4 Bryce Dallas Howard 4-4 Kate Upton 4-5 Kate stays alive as long as she keeps picking the Browns right

Oh shit, I forgot. Browns win 20-3. Other divisional foes all lose. Will add Kate later. Go Brownssss! TGZ

Forever bonded, The Browns and 49ers came into the AAFC together, and then came into the NFL together. Total Titles: Browns 8, 49ers 5. They are our little brother that is trying real hard but just can't get there. Forever blonded, Kate Upton went 2-1 in the Bye Week and retains the ZomBabe of the Week Monitor. But the Browns were the first team in NFL History to come out of the Bye Week more injured than when they went into it ... so Kate's got some tough titties to milk this week. Baltimore vs Tennessee, Sunday 930 AM at London The Ratbirds refused to win in Pittsburgh last week, and know they had to fly to Europe and play the Tough Tits. Should be a low-scoring rugby match, but I think the Tits have more grit TITANS 18 RAVENS 16 Seattle at Cincinnati, Sunday 1:00 PM Seattle is one of those teams I felt strong about this year, the Bungles are not. So I think each team continues that trend ... SEAHAWKS 24 BUNGLES 21 San Francisco at Cleveland, Sunday 1:00 PM With the offense under a state of emergency repair, this is the statement game for the Browns Defense. They are out to prove that they are best in the league, and they will by shutting down the formidable 49er attack. BROWNS 13 49ERS 12 TGZ ZomBabe Standings Kate Upton 2-1 Alexandra Daddario 4-4 Bryce Dallas Howard 4-4

Kate Upton nailed it, let's all accept it and move on. Z

Another ZomBabe bites the dust ... Let's see, we've had a Brunette and a Redhead, time for a blonde ... so, in deference to Justin Verlander's scrapy playoff win yesterday ... here's his wife! Baltimore at Pittsburgh, Sunday 1 PM Just when you are convinced you can finally say "Pittsburgh Sucks" with authority, they will win a game they have no business winning. STEELERS 17 RATBIRDS 15 Cincinnati at Arizona, Sunday 4:05 PM Why is everyone pretending Joe Burrow doesn't flat out suck? CARDINALS 20 BUNGLES 12 ZomBabe Standings Alexandra Daddario 4-4 Bryce Dallas Howard 4-4

Last Week Brownies slapped some Tits around, but a complaint was lodged with TGZ about our current ZomBabe's lack of proportional Boobies. Well, too bad, she won, so here's some more ass, compliments of Bryce Dallas Howard: Baltimore at Cleveland, Sunday 1 PM We lost Chubb, and we won. Now Watson and Nojoku are questionable, but ... Never fear, in two games at home so far our defense has given up a grand total of 6 points. And the Ravens aren't scary. Myles & Co. will be chasing Jacko Around all day, we'll see if he makes it 4 Quarters. BROWNS 17 RATBIRDS 10 Cincinnati at Tennessee, 1 PM Sunday The Tits should bo8nce back after the Browns Bruising, but the Bungles are lookind stuck in the mire this year with a hobbled Burrow. TITANS 23 BUNGLES 10 Pittsburgh at Houston, 1 PM Sunday Buckeye fans, I think you've finally got one, C.J. Stroud looks like the real deal. Unfortunately for the Steelers Kenny Picksix looks like you'll be drafting a QB again soon. TEXANS 24 STEELERS 20 ZomBabe Standings Alexandra Daddario 4-4 Bryce Dallas Howard 2-2

She gotta dump truck.

So after two weeks, it is Baltimore on top and Cincy bringing up the rear ... and getting rear mounted every week. Speaking of rear ends, this week's ZomBabe is Opie's daughter, Bryce Dallas Howard. Alexandra Daddario is retired with a 4-4 record in the ZomBabe of the Year contest. Tennessee at Cleveland, Sunday 1:00 PM The Tits pulled out a surprise last week, but no such luck today. The Brownies will be playing extra motivated in honor of their fallen comrade, Nick Chubb, I see an offensive explosion. BROWNS 41 TITS 10 Indianapolis at Baltimore, Sunday 1:00 PM Throw another cupcake up for the Ratbirds! Actually it could be tighter than expected with SuperSub Gardner Minshew starting for the Foals. But evil wins out in the end. RATBIRDS 24 COLTS 23 Pittsburgh at Las Vegas, Sunday Night Football 8:20 PM Boy, Kenny Pickett is looking rough in that offense. Jimmy Garrapolo ... All he does is win. RAIDERS 27 STEELERS 10 LA Rams at Cincinnati, Monday Night Football, 8:15 PM I don't know if Hobbled Joe is a go at this writing, but I'd say, save him, because Aaron Donald is going to kill whoever they throw back there behind that line. RAMS 26 BUNGLES 10 TGZ

She was perfect last week, so ... Still the ZomBabe.

I fucked up. Pregaming at the Browns Bar before I head home to watch the game. BROWNS 43 STEELERS 10 I'll add some tits later. Z

TGZ will be back to flesh this out, just wanted to make sure I got the Bungle pick in before kickoff ... BUNGLES 27 RATBIRDS 23

The Great Zomboni is Back, and so are the ZomBabes. And what a way to start the Season, The Bungles and Browns in the Battle of Ohio. No better test than the defending AFC North Champs to see where our team is entering 2023. Can the Browns be the Bungles Daddy again? To help answer that question we bring in Week #1's ZomBabe, Alexandra Daddario: Cincinnati at Cleveland, Sunday 1PM The biggest upgrade to either team is the Browns adding prolific pash rusher Za'darius Smith and beefy DT Dalvin Tomlinson to an already talented defense that will now be coached by the highly regarded Jim Schwartz. And a full year of Desahaun Watson running the offense. The Bungles will be the Bungles, Burrow and Chase will make plays .. But not enough to win one on the lake before 72,000 crazed dawgs. Battle #1 goes to the Browns. BROWNS 34 BUNGLES 27 San Francisco at Pittsburgh, Sunday 1 PM Poor Pittsburgh, the best rookie QB last year was available with the last pick of the draft, but they hitched their wagon to the local boy in the first round. Kenny Pickem may be a nice story, but Brock Purdy wins football games. And the Niners, my pick to twin the the NFC Championship this year, may have the best weapons in football. So 49ERS 37 STILLERS 21 Houston at Baltimore, Sunday 1 PM. Houston is not going to win many football games this year, as they start anew for the third year in a row and with a rookie QB. As much as I'd like to see the Ratbirds fall on their faces Week One, it'll take a minor miracle. RATBIRDS 23 TEXANS 13 TGZ & AD

1. Browns record? 12-5 2. Bengals record? 9-83. Ravens record? 7-10 4. Steelers record? 10-7 5. How many points do the Browns score? How many points do the Browns allow? 411/333 6. How many yards, touchdowns and interceptions does Deshaun Watson throw for? 4156, 33,11 7. How many rushing yards and rushing touchdowns does Nick Chubb have? 1666, 16 8. Who leads the Browns in receptions? How many receptions? Cooper 79 9. Who is second for the Browns in receptions? How many receptions? Moore 61 10. How many sacks COMBINED do Myles Garrett and Za'Darius Smith have? 30 11. How many field goals does Dustin Hopkins attempt? How many does he make? 37/42 12. Browns record vs the AFC North? 4-2 13. What two teams play in the Super Bowl? Who wins? KC over SF

Don't forget to make your picks like I did! Luckily I only missed two games, jump in before noon and get in on the action! 🏈 Z