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THE BROWNS BOARD

WOOF WOOF: Week Nine


kshutchins

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Beanpot's League: beanpottickets-1.png

 

Gaudy. That's a great word. "..he's (Hillis) averaging a gaudy 4.8 yards per carry." -- Peter King. Greenville Mayhem has put together a gaudy season so far knocking out 9 (nine) wins in a row. Mayhem's GM was asked to analyze the team's success. "We were fortunate to draft in the number two spot and were able to launch a team with lots of depth and talent. The fellas have worked hard for success in all phases of the game. Recently we had two tough weeks against the Ballantyne Buckeyes and Insert Clever Name, winning even though key players were on byes. " Adrian Peterson (25) and New Orleans Defense (21) carried the load against Insert CleverName. Braylon Edwards (12) and Baltimore's Defense (12) were the standouts for ICN. "Oh we got trouble!" declared ICN, pondering the state of his team, "libertine men and scarlet women will be our downfall ... Wait ... maybe we should just play better football ..." Final: Greenville Mayhem 72, Insert Clever Name 52.

 

The Mayhem squad have no intention of resting on their laurels and continue to work to keep the team fresh for the rest of the season. Who's next? This week Mayhem expects a challenge from Dot the I. "This will be a matchup that compares with Browns versus Jets. It's a critical game for us to keep the momentum in our favor."

 

This is for Huskymania:

 

Say it again, "HALLELUJAH!" Huskymania's Green Bay Boys finally put together a big game! Aaron Rodgers (25), Brandon Jackson (19), Greg Jennings (18) and the Packers' Defense (28) brought home the glory! 107 points for 'Mania sent TexChainsaw Massaquoi to the devil with 74. Huskymania was last seen riding the Toyota Award into the sunset with the Viagra trophy in tow.

 

"Playoffs." That's another word that starts creeping into football fan vocabularies this time of the year. We're well past the halfway point in the fantasy regular season so it's time for the players to start eyeing their positions on the playoff stage. If the semifinal round were to kick off this week, Dot the I would be facing the Usual Suspects. Hakeem Nicks (20) and Ray Rice (18) helped bring home the bacon for Dot the I against the Ballantyne Buckeyes, 80-72. The Buckeyes, demonstrating no respect for the Cinci pass defense, opted to start "Big" Ben Roethlisberger (7) over Eli Manning (23), who took on Dallas.

 

Bulletin Board notice from Calfox: "WE PITY THE JELLY DONUT FOOLS." T and company responded with equanimity: "I think you can relax. My team is not that good." Who has the last laugh? T's Jelly Donuts 84, Calfox KosarDawgs 84. Jelly Donuts for all! T deserves kudos for working hard to improve his team. 20 roster moves thus far have provided the Donuts with two wins and a tie, keeping the team out of the cellar (for now). You're #1 (on the waiver wire) T!

 

The Usual Suspects can thank a couple of questionable characters for keeping playoff hopes alive. Michael Vick (20) and Terrel Owens (31) shot down Navdawg's Browns 84-54. The Suspects have won two in a row and hope to keep their team out of jail through the end of the season. I know I speak for all of us when I say it's great that Navdawg's Austin Collie is recovering from the terrifying injury he suffered in Philadelphia. (Can I have an "Amen?")

 

Beanpot, lurking in the wings of the playoff stage, has quietly put together a four game winning streak. His latest victim, Zombo's WildDawgs, was tripped up by a lackluster performance from everyone but Philip Rivers (27) and Cleveland's stealth defense (8). Beanpot 89, Zombo 64. Week 10 has Beanpot battling against TexChainsaw who will be trying to oust Beanpot and carve out a playoff slot of his own.

 

Bonus points to anyone who can identify the movie and music references in this report :)

 

Oreo's League 20090314_0093-1.jpg

DD's, in first place at 7-1-1, gamely hollered "Bring on the Bronx cheer!" and promptly pounded the Bronx Browns 125-71. The Browns good-naturedly delivered the raspberries after the loss. DD's have been kicking butt and taking names for 5 games in a row. This week they hope to have Lambdo's Air Show reaching for their parachutes.

 

Ben There Raped That proved a dislike for cats by clobbering the kitty 98-67. Dozens of points were scored by Marques Colston (12), LaDainian Tomlinson (12) and Sebastian Janikowski (12), leaving Oreo reeling. The fantasy feline is holding on by the claws in an effort to hang on for the playoffs.

 

Beanpot squeezed past Kamac19 despite the loss of kicker Stephen Gostkowski (1). Beans watched gleefully as Kamac's Chad Ochocinco (2) was ignored by Carson Palmer. Kamac is probably still staring at the TV trying to figure out how that happened. Beans 76, Kamac 74.

 

Hammertime took advantage of Kentucky Barn Burner, a team beset by injuries and bye weeks. The luck of the draw and Reggie Wayne (16) delivered a pounding, 66-55. The loss is the second in as many weeks for Barn Burner, who will be facing a riled and ferocious furry Oreo this week. The battle could prove to have playoff implications.

 

ChooChoo's rolled over The Hammer, 115-68. There are 7 teams in this league with records of 5-4-0 or better so it's "game on!" Any given Sunday can mean a lost opportunity to worm one's way into the top and eke out a playoff berth. "Spoiler" is another word we should keep in mind at this stage of the season.

 

Any mistake can be critical. Oops. Lambdo's Air Show knows. "Oh geez, forgot to set the lineups..." mumbled the GM, hoping to hang on. dirty hands were wringing with pleasure at the outcome. Air Show 61, dirty hands, 75, Oh geez, indeed.

The Heidi Report weeknine.jpg

My Helmet's 2Tight 6-3-0 68, Cleveland Steamers 7-2-0 81

The #1 and #2 teams went at it this week only to keep the same spots in the ranks. But it was Cleveland Steamers that got the win despite coming in under his projected points. Helmet hopes that next week will bring a bigger margin between them and 3rd place which is breathing down their neck.

Top scorers: My Helmet's 2Tight: Phillip Rivers 27, Larry Fitzgerald 17

Cleveland Steamers: Arian Foster 28, LaDainian Tomlinson 12

 

Brownies 2-7-0 59, Nw220 5-4-0 66

Unlike the Cleveland Browns, the Brownies were under baked and didn't turn out very well this week with a loss to Nw220. The loss may have been slightly aided by Kicker Stephen Gostkowski felt tightness in his right thigh while warming up before Sunday's game and who is now out for the season with a thigh injury. Brownies have taken note of that and has adjusted accordingly. Ironically, Nw220 voted for Brownies to with this match up.

Top Scorers: Brownies: Mark Sanchez 16, Derrick Mason 12.

Top scorers for Nw220 are Dez Bryant 18 and Marques Colston 12

 

RunninUover 2-6-1 71, fatherof3 6-3-0 125

RunninUover got ran over himself this week by fatherof3 who is on a 4 game win streak and increasingly becoming a top contender in this league. Great job fatherof3.

Top scorers: RunninUover: Dwayne Bowe 15, Carson Palmer 14

fatherof3: Payton Hillis 27, Michael 19

 

lets go browns 4-5-0 5, Ballantyne Bruisers 5-3-1 99

This weeks Greatest Fantasy Victor! is Ballantyne Bruisers with a humongous lead of 94 points! Wow. I don't know the circumstances surrounding lets go browns not adjusting their roster but they left 3 players and their Defense in when they were on a bye week. If this was an oversight on lets go's part, that measly 5 points they got may be an incentive to remember to make adjustments for week 10.

Top scorers: lets go browns: Brandon Marshall 7

Ballantyne Bruisers: Aaron Rodgers 25, Ahmad Bradshaw 21

 

ImisstheKosarDays 3-6-0 72, why cant we win 3-6-0 79

why cant we win fell asleep in the endzone and had a vision that told him to vote for himself to win this week against ImisstheKosarDays even if only by 7 points, so that's what he did and that's what happened. And now his win streak is at 2. Which, btw has bumped him up to 8th place. And we were worried he'd never get out of the basement.

Top scorers: ImisstheKosarDays: Ray Rice 18, Tom Brady 16

why cant we win: Reggie Wayne 16

 

stewartcj1 5-4-0 108, Tecmo Bo 5-4-0 97

These 2 teams are now sharing an even record of 5-4-0 but stewartcj1 gets the W this time since Tecmo Bo has been involved twice with the Greatest Fantasy Victor games as of late. This does not mean that Tecmo gave him this win as both teams scored higher than projected and gave it their best.

Top scorers: stewartcj1: Terrell Owens 31, Adrian Peterson 25

Tecmo Bo: DeSean Jackson 21, Greg Jennings 18

 

The Great Zomboni TheGreatZomboni.jpg

 

Mr. Freeze's Snowmen took over sole possession of first place in League 4 and will be spouting icycles all week after scoring Viagra High Score of the Week honors in a 1110-78 pasting of the Big Bad Dawgs. The Snowmen once again relied on Adrian Peterson while also getting big days from Joe Flacco, Hakeem Nicks and Mike Wallace.

 

Team Inglewood Jack moved up to 6-3 by flowing with Phillip Rivers and his 27 points in 108-80 victory over Polk High. The Polksters fell to 6-3 and a four-way tie for second place.

 

The other two 6-3 teams provided quite a matchup as well as Bermeck's KY Hicks sleepwalked to a 72-34 victory over the previously hot Jumping Jack Flash. The Flash got a whopping -2 from Chad Henne and a total of one point from their starting RBs in their meltdown. Guess they'll be starting a different QB this week.

 

Huskymania, totally oblivious to the fact that their TE has been the IR for half of the season, cruised to a 84-68 win over the Flea Flickers thanks to the Packers stomping of the Cowboys. Now his kicker is on IR too ... Shhh! Don't tell him...

 

Calfox's Kosar Dawgs got back in the winning column with a solid 94-81 thumping of the TX ChainsawMassaquois. Of course Calfox was smart enough to start a running back by the name of Peyton Hillis and a kicker named Phil Dawson ... so of course he won.

 

In the battle of the cellar dwellers, the Werewolves finally got their first win of the season, filling the Halloween night with howls of joy after besting the Real McCoys 75-65. And they couldn't have done it without Jacob Tamme. Yes, THAT Jacob Tamme.

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T outcoached me. We came out and should have dominated.

 

Ah well. I can still smile that I drafted Hillis in both my leagues.

 

Doggone it, T. ;)

 

(Heidi is making me want to be in her league next year, too. LOL)

 

(Zombo... IT'S FREAKIN THURSDAY ALREADY.)

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T outcoached me. We came out and should have dominated.

 

Ah well. I can still smile that I drafted Hillis in both my leagues.

 

Doggone it, T. ;)

 

(Heidi is making me want to be in her league next year, too. LOL)

 

(Zombo... IT'S FREAKIN THURSDAY ALREADY.)

 

 

Did I win? I have given up all hope on that team like Jerry Jones has in Dallas.

 

Fyi: The Barn Burners will be back. We just need someone to lite the fire again

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Cant get my top performers???

 

 

Can we hold off on the villagers coming to my door with torches for a minute? I really do apologize, I normally don't forget that kind of information. Here ya go: Top scorers for Nw220 are Dez Bryant 18 and Marques Colston 12

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Can we hold off on the villagers coming to my door with torches for a minute? I really do apologize, I normally don't forget that kind of information. Here ya go: Top scorers for Nw220 are Dez Bryant 18 and Marques Colston 12

 

Well, we never claimed to be perfect now, did we??

I made the appropriate edit. Sorry I didn't catch that, Heidi.

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Well, we never claimed to be perfect now, did we??

I made the appropriate edit. Sorry I didn't catch that, Heidi.

 

 

Gracias Kathy. I've been lax on my spelling before only to catch it after I see it posted but I do believe this was a first and thanks for adding it. Again, Nw220, sorry about that. I always try to say something positive about every team when I write whether they win or lose and I will include zingers too and I do not spare myself when it comes to that lol.

 

No need to apologize Kathy, it was my oversight.

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