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Iran Says 'Tall, White' Space Aliens Control America

Kosar_For_President

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Kosar_For_President Newbie

Kosar_For_President

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Documents leaked by NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden conclusively prove that the United States has been ruled by a race of tall, white space aliens who also assisted the rise of Nazi Germany in the 1930s.


These revelations about our alien overlords might not cost you any sleep. But the part that should concern you a tad is that the UFO story was just published by the Fars News Agency, the English-language news service of Iran, a nation that may be very close to acquiring nuclear weapons.


This being a crazy conspiracy theory, naturally the Russians are behind it. The alleged alien invasion was revealed in an alleged report by Russia’s FSB spy agency, which found “incontrovertible proof’ that an ‘alien/extraterrestrial intelligence agenda’ is driving U.S. domestic and international policy, and has been doing so since at least 1945,” said the Iranian news service.


Fars apparently got the story from a hard-core conspiracy site calledwhatdoesitmean.com. Here is the gist of the whatdoesitmean.com story as best I understand it (or as the alien mind-control lasers allow me to understand it):


Snowden, who has been given asylum in Russia, leaked documents that a race of extraterestrial “tall whites” arrived on Earth, helped Nazi Germany build a fleet of advanced submarines in the 1930s, and then met in 1954 with President Dwight Eisenhower “where the ‘secret regime’ currently ruling over America was established.”


“Most disturbingly, this FSB report warns, is that the ‘Tall White’ agenda being implemented by the ‘secret regime’ ruling the United States calls for the creation of a global electronic surveillance system meant to hide all true information about their presence here on earth as they enter into what one of Snowden’s documents calls the ‘final phase’ of their end plan for total assimilation and world rule.”


Meanwhile, the U.S. government is embroiled in a “cataclysmic” power struggle between President Obama, who heads the alien shadow government, and some unknown force that opposed the U.S.-alien alliance. “Most to be feared by Russian policy makers and authorities, this [FSB] report concludes, is if those opposing the ‘Tall White’ ‘secret regime’ ruled over by Obama have themselves aligned with another alien-extraterrestrial power themselves.”


Any good conspiracy theory needs a patina of truth, a bit of intellectual cover to camouflage the craziness. In this case, the whatdoesitmean.com/Fars story cites Paul Hellyer, the 1960s Canadian defense minister who is now a fervent UFO activist.


This is almost a funny story, until one remembers that Iran is a moderately powerful nation of 76 million people, with a possible nuclear arsenal, relatively large conventional military power, extensive terrorist capabilities through its intelligence agencies and Hezbollah, and a fundamentalist government that could easily engage in hostilities against the U.S. Laugh if you will at conspiracy theories, but they offer explanatory value for their believers, a way of making sense of why things happen, even if it is a funhouse-mirror explanation of the world. The Fars News Agency is reportedly affiliated with Iran’s influential Revolutionary Guards, which suggests that either Iran is either desperate to smear the U.S. any way it can, or there indeed is a very peculiar view of U.S. politics at the highest levels of the Iranian government.


If there is a bright spot to this as well as a funny bone, it’s that the goal of U.S. policy is to contain and neutralize Iranian influence. So, perhaps it’s not necessarily a bad thing that Tehran thinks its main adversary is backed by the power of space aliens. It’s good to have friends in high places, even if they have two heads.

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Browns149 Mentor

Browns149

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I thought it was a tall black space alien...

WSS

AWESOME!!!!!!!!

 

Best post in awhile

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The Cysko Kid Rising Star

The Cysko Kid

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Yes, but being a tall male gives you a much better chance to be successful and powerful.

 

Look at the average height of Fortune 500 CEOs vs the average for the country.

This is proven. Being tall garners you automatic respect. Fie on you short peasants.
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gftChris Newbie

gftChris

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Bill Gates: 5'10". Mark Zukerberg 5'9". Warren Buffet 5' 10".

Giving exceptions doesn't prove the contrary. Please stop it. How about finding the average height that Woody's talking about? And on top of that variance, if it's available.

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DieHardBrownsFan Rookie

DieHardBrownsFan

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I just named 3 of the richest which are all average height. I don't think height has anything to do with it. Except maybe if your tall and want to think it does. I'm 6' 1" by the way. Used to be taller when I was 20, but age kind of shrinks you.

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gftChris Newbie

gftChris

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I just named 3 of the richest which are all average height. I don't think height has anything to do with it. Except maybe if your tall and want to think it does. I'm 6' 1" by the way. Used to be taller when I was 20, but age kind of shrinks you.

I'm 5'9", but believe in statistics. Gates and Zuckerberg started their own companies - they didn't need respect to do it. But when being promoted to CEO? Maybe being taller helps.

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MLD Woody Grand Master

MLD Woody

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from CNN "Tall people make an average of $789 per inch per year and this has been shown repeatedly in a set of four large-scale salary survey studies over 50 years in both the U.K. and the U.S. Numerous studies show that when bosses are given real and fictitious resumes of two competent employees, there's about a 70% chance that bosses will pick the taller person for the job. "

 

"In the U.S. population, about 14.5 percent of all men are six feet or over. Among CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, that number is 58 percent. Even more strikingly, in the general American population, 3.9 percent of adult men are 6’2″ or taller. Among my CEO sample, 30 percent were 6’2″ or taller."

 

old economist article http://www.jonathanrauch.com/jrauch_articles/height_discrimination_short_guys_finish_last/index.html

 

Surveys have uncovered that less than 3% of CEOs were below 5 ft 7 in (1.70 m) in height. Ninety percent of CEOs are of above average height.

 

 

 

http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/money/companies/management/2007-07-17-ceo-dominant-behavior_N.htm

 

The last U.S. president who was shorter than the average man was 5-foot-7 William McKinley 106 years ago.

 

 

 

Basically, tall people kick ass.... hell yeah

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