Jump to content

A Muslim and a Democrat


Recommended Posts








MUSLIM: "We did this because our holy texts exhort us to do it."


DEMOCRAT: "No you didn't."


MUSLIM: "Wait, what? Yes we did..."


DEMOCRAT: "No, this has nothing to do with religion. You guys are just using religion as a front for social and geopolitical reasons."


MUSLIM: "WHAT!? Did you even read our official statement? We give explicit justification. This is jihad, a holy crusade against the West,pagans, blasphemers, and disbelievers."


DEMOCRAT: "No, this is definitely not a Muslim thing. You guys are not true Muslims, and you defame a great religion by saying so."


MUSLIM: "Huh!? Who are you to tell us we're not true Muslims!? Islam is literally at the core of everything we do, and we have implemented the

truest most literal and honest interpretation of its founding texts. It is our very reason for being."


DEMOCRAT: "Nope. We created you. We installed a social and economic system that alienates and disenfranchises you, and that's why you did this. We're sorry."


MUSLIM: "What? Why are you apologizing? We just slaughtered you mercilessly in the streets. We targeted unwitting civilians disenfranchisement doesn't even enter into it!"


DEMOCRAT: "Easy access to guns is what drives your anger."


MUSLIM: "It's not the guns! We will knife you, hang you, burn you, run you over, and bombs are easy to create in our kitchens! We don't care

about the guns! In fact, civilian might actually make it difficult for us!"


DEMOCRAT: "Obviously we need to ban all guns. We need to overturn the Second Amendment."


MUSLIM: "By Allah, you are a motherless fool! The weapon is not the issue! Our Holy Jihad against you is the only thing that is important!"


DEMOCRAT: "Climate Change is the reason you rage against us. We deserve it."


MUSLIM: "WHAT??!? What the hell does Climate Change have to do with this???"


DEMOCRAT: "Because of Climate Change, the oceans will rise by one-tenth of one inch, and that makes you furious...."


MUSLIM: (face in palms)


DEMOCRAT: "You see no future for your children because of Climate Change so you strap bombs on them and send them into shopping malls.


MUSLIM: "NO DAMMIT. It has NOTHING to do with Climate Change or Gun Control or ANYTHING like that! It is because we follow the teachings of the Prophet Mohammad, who tells us to put all unbelievers to the sword! We are commanded by Allah to kill you all!"


DEMOCRAT: "This is all caused by the fact we bullied gays and transgenders in our past. If we hadn't been so mean, and accepted Bruce

Jenner for the amazing woman he was all those years, you would not be trying to kill us. Please forgive us."


MUSLIM: "ARE YOU INSANE??? We kill gays the moment we find them! We hang them by their necks any chance we can! Islam hates homosexuality!"


DEMOCRAT: "Listen, it's our fault. We resisted resettling you in our country. We should have given you more welfare and food stamps. We don't

blame you for feeling unwelcome and lashing out."


MUSLIM: "Seriously, stop taking credit for this! We worked really hard to pull this off, and we're not going to let you take it away from us."


DEMOCRAT: "No, we nourished your extremism. We accept full blame."


MUSLIM: "OMG, how many people do we have to kill around here to finally get our message across?""


DEMOCRAT: "Gun control will fix this."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Why does an Ohioan cheer for the rotten stinking lowlife piece of shit scumbag cocksucker Pittsburgh Steelers?






LOL...Well played. This long time Ohion grew up in Pa. I don't allow myself to bring Steelers Browns shit in this forum. When it comes to politics and religion, we're are on the same side.


The Steeler board I sometimes frequent surprisingly is overwhelmingy conservative...too boring.

This place is better.


I hate Pa. for one reason, they consistently vote Democrat. At least Ohio switches it up once in a while.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

so, you're saying you wish you had a woodpecker?


When is the trading deadline? We could use a box of doughnuts...


although we'd be getting the better end of the deal..... B)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The Steeler board I sometimes frequent surprisingly is overwhelmingy conservative.


I hate Pa. for one reason, they consistently vote Democrat




That's right. Pittsburgh is highly liberal. Voting for Obama twice. Even the Rooneys are libs.


Appreciate the Rooneys, but I almost puked after Dan Rooney thanked Obama on national TV after the Super Bowl win over the Cards.


Link to comment
Share on other sites


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...