Captain Marvel review

[Westside Steve]

Captain Marvel
Marvel
PG 13.                  125 min

Okay gang, to be honest I had no real idea who Captain Marvel was. Apparently, and I had to look this up, Captain Marvel was a character from a group called Fawcett comics back in the 50s who were sued by DC for copyright infringement meaning that they felt the captain was a ripoff of Superman. Apparently they won because Fawcett dump the character and it wasn’t until the 60s that Stan Lee at Marvel Comics bought the trademark and gave the series new life. Last year the producers of the BLACK PANTHER found out that you can put out a mediocre superhero movie and as long as the main character isn’t a white guy you will make a lot of money and grab a lot of headlines. So what to do with the stale CAPTAIN MARVEL series? Bingo! I have no idea what kind of transgender surgery went on but all of a sudden he a she. Well frankly I didn’t think BLACK PANTHER was terrible, just way overrated. CAPTAIN MARVEL, on the other hand, sucks. Now before you get irate it’s not because it’s a female in the lead, WONDER WOMAN was great, it’s just a bad movie.
1.    First of all you need to figure out how to our heroine winds up on Earth near the end of the 20th century when she’s actually from somewhere in the intergalactic future. Or something. There are two things going on in the future first some kind of a war between the Cree and the Scrulls. The Scrulls look a little bit like Orcs so we assume that they are the bad guys right off the bat. They can also metamorphosize themselves into any kind of creature and wind up imitating some of the other characters as the story clumps along. Brie Larson is Carol Danvers, (Ironically Stan Lee, may he rest in peace was imitative till the end. SUPERGIRLS Earth name is Linda Danvers)  also Captain Marvel, is charged with protecting a super energy thingamabob created by her mentor Annette Bening. It just happens to look exactly like the glowing blue cubes that were the big problem in BLACK PANTHER.
Apparently everybody wants control of that Cube and guess what, there’s a whole lot of fighting as they try to take it from each other. And a whole lot of blowing stuff up. Surprised?
The bulk of the film, when it’s not completely consumed by explosions, violence and second-rate special effects, Danvers hangs out with Nick Fury ( the usually great Samuel L Jackson) and his family or the most interesting part is waiting for Jackson as fiery to drop an MF-bomb. 
Finally when the dust clears and we’ve traveled back and forth and time to give you a crick in your neck, everything is resolved at least until the next film when Marvel joins the rest of the Avengers for another two and a half hours of noise.
Besides the surprisingly shoddy CGI, and a confusing and nonsensical story there is some second-rate acting going on here. I blame the director because I’ve seen Jackson in plenty of things in which he’s not asked to play a tough guy and a nerd in the same script. The usually compelling Jude Law  plays his part  like a villain in a B science fiction serial . Also the Scrulls rubber masks obviously make it hard to talk. Nobody in the sound room could overdub the  voice? And for whatever reason Larson plays the main character with the look and feel of a Bob Evans waitress. It will undoubtedly make a lot of money but it still stinks.
D
WSS