Morbius review

[Westside Steve]

Morbius

Sony

PG-13.      104 min

First the good news. If you are a fan of Channing Tatum or Sandra Bullock THE LOST CITY is no longer the worst movie I've seen in a year. That honor, such as it is, goes to Jared Leto starring in Marvel's MORBIUS. Sometimes a new release comes into play what I'm picking movies for the month is and this one just came out. That means I didn't bother looking at the ins and out beside the fact that Leto and Michael Keaton's names appeared in the cast. For the most part I love Keaton and Leto has proved to be very good, if maybe a little bit creepy, in a good many roles. Had I known this was a lame vampire yarn lifted from the pages of Marvel Comics, I may have had second thoughts but who knows? Honest-to-Pete gang, I knew this movie was a turd before three minutes had passed, and that was just the teaser. Flashback  years ago to a children's sanatorium in Greece. It specializes in children with a rare and crippling blood disorder that results in constant pain and three daily blood transfusions. The Morbius brothers, Mike and Milo are patients there realizing that there’s no real help in sight. As it turned out Michael appears to have a genius IQ and goes away to college in the United States vowing to find a cure and come back and save his brother.  He graduates at the age of 19 with a doctorate and doctor it and goes on to win a Nobel Prize for his work with artificial blood. The good news is through his research he finds a treatment; the bad news is that it turns him into a vampire. Damn those side effects.  Through self experimentation Michael is doomed to be addicted to the artificial blood he's created to keep his body from falling apart. It also gives him super strength vision senses you name it. Brother Milo will eventually beseech him to give him the same treatment but Michael refuses wishing to save his brother from being turned into a monster that he sees himself as. Dozens of people are turning up dead with the blood drained from them and the authorities start to suspect Michael is at the root of it. Self-loathing sets in as he fears these people must be his victims because of the blackouts. But wait; if Michael survives by only drinking the artificial blood who is out there killing people for real blood?

It's hard to describe with a quick summary just how bad this movie is. As you know I never read reviews before I see a movie and make up my mind but I just checked back and Rotten Tomatoes, love them or not, gave MORBIUS a 15. Which, frankly might have been generous. Continuity is horrible as the fake blood only keeps Michael normal for a few hours and that diminishes with every dose. You can't really tell because his face goes from monster to normal to sick seemingly at random. The dialogue isn't very well written and is made worse by the overacting no doubt demanded by the director,  I mean  these guys are real actors, not underwear models. Speaking of budget, which we weren't but why not, it seems the producers had enough money for one special effect, kind of a shimmering smokey glow surrounding the characters as they fly through a shimmering surrealistic City. Like a fifteen-year-old guitar player with only one effects pedal they use it all the time. To further piss me off I spent the entire movie searching for Michael Keaton. He doesn't show up until after the credits. Apparently this is some stupid tie-in to an upcoming Spider-Man movie. Now I'm pissed off as well as bored. Anyway like I said in the lost city review to each his own but really folks, this one sucks.

F

WSS