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Poem about the '08 season


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I'm taking a moment

to vent just a tad,

this '08 season

has been totally sad.


It’s not your imagination,

so take it easy,

no need for new glasses

or a brand new TV.


This isn’t your father’s Browns

who knew how to win

‘cause the Browns of today

are ugly as sin.


I know this sounds crass

and seems very rude

but the size of Braylon’s ego

equals RAC’s love for food.


He can’t catch a ball

and he’s not a good blocker

he should call Randy Lerner

and ask to play soccer.


Kellen says he’s a soldier,

but in who’s army? Who's bunch?

maybe Colonel Sanders

or perhaps Captain Crunch?


The defense is lousy

tackling skills are a shame

were there only 10 players out there

for the entire game?


I won’t watch this team

for the rest of the year,

but I’ll still eat my pizza,

still drink my beer.


I’ll do other things

like mowing the lawn,

doing the laundry,

smoking a bong.


If Quinn is the savior

that we all hope he is,

the future is bright

and we’ll take care of biz.


But if Romeo is still here

come next September

I think I’ll cry harder

than I can remember.

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Limerick time:


There once was a coach for Cleveland,

Who ruined the spirit in Believe-land,

Because he stuck with DA,

Until it was too late,

Even though he had a 1st round draft pick on the bench who was working his ass off, doing and saying all the right things, knew the playbook backward and forward, set 32 college QB records, got pounded in college but could take it because he set a QB record for bench press, was a Heisman finalist from a major D1 school in a pro-style offense where one of your best friends was the head coach and told you "he's ready", is a born leader and home town favorite, who was chomping at the bit...


Uhm, ok. I'm no good at this. Yours was way better.

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Think Doris Day, Que sera sera and start singing.


When I was just a little lad

I asked my mother, "what should I be?"

"should I be Squeelers, Bungles or Birds?"

This is what she said to me....

"Wash your mouth out son,

and go get your father's gun,

and put those sh*ts on the run,

It's the BROWNS for you!"

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