Woof Woof: Fantasy Football Playoff Follies Week 11

[kshutchins]

Gobble, Gobble! Have a great week, everyone.

 

Beanpot's League One:

Since it's Thanksgiving this week, we'll feature the Turkeys:

 

Turkey #1: Greenville Mayhem. Turkey feathers flew as the Green team was completely carved up by Jumpin' Jack Flash. Beset by injuries to key running backs Reggie Bush and Brian Westbrook, Mayhem called on the second team. Darren Sproles eked out 2 points while Jamaal Charles carried most of the running responsibilities racking up 17. Wes Welker did his best to compensate for his absent teammates and managed 27 points. Sadly, this was a feeble effort compared to the Flash. Hines Ward (24), Ricky Williams (28), and Terrell Owens (28) helped cook Mayhem's goose, 125-68.

 

Turkey #2: DTBH. Huskymania's Brett Favre(28) made holiday mincemeat of DTBH. The only player on the Husky squad not in double digits was Andre Caldwell (3). DTBH's John Carlson prepared an early Thanksgiving dinner, serving up a goose egg. Huskymania 123; DTBH 77.

 

Turkey #3: Peyton's Zombies. GM Meehan, not only dropped quarterback Brady Quinn and replaced the unproven QB with Peyton Manning, he renamed his team, formerly the Fighting Quinnbos. This week Quinn (30) made Zombo pay for his lack of confidence. Peyton Manning, who was seen gnoshing on the sidelines, scored a poultry ... eh, paltry ... 7 points, opening the door for the Usual Suspects who stuffed the Zombies 91-74.

 

Turkey #4:Beanpot. Beans' team was slightly favored going into the week but this turned out to be a total trap game. Calfox was overheard pleading, "Come on ANDRE, help me beat BEANS! PULLLLEASE!" After Eli Manning (23) delivered the entree', Andre Johnson (15) poured on the gravy. KosarDawgs 84, Beanpot 81. Eat hearty, Calfox!

 

Turkey #5: Insert Clever Name. Is that a tear I see, or was Clever Name just chopping onions? Calvin Johnson (23) and Ben Roethlisberger (21) wielded a clever for the Ballantyne Buckeyes, finishing off ICN, 105-57.

 

Tofurkey: No real turkey here. Navdawg's Browns, BQ (30), Anquan Boldin (20), and Visanthe Shiancoe (19) overachieved in a big way, nearly pulling off the upset of the week. Flug's Cardiac Kids dashed Navdawg's hopes, 117-107. Sidney Rice (23) was the accompaniment for Drew Brees (21), Tony Gonzalez (19), and Larry Fitzgerald (19).

 

Also played: alwAysLOsing 82; T's Jelly Donuts 69. Gobble Gobble.

 

Standings:

Jumpin' Jack Flash 8-3-0

Beanpot 6-4-1

Ballantyne Buckeyes, Huskymania, DTBH, Insert Clever Name, Flug's Cardiac Kids, The Usual Suspects, and T's Jelly Donuts (in that order) all at 6-5-0.

 

Full 'o Beans League Two:

 

The Flying Turkeys were roasted by the Double D's 96-76. Ryan Longwell (5), and Cincinnati's defense (7) gave poor efforts for the Turkeys, but Marshawn Lynch (-1) dealt the final blow to finish off the birds who were favored to win. The never-say-die Double D's took advantage of the anti-turkey sentiment of the holiday and finished off the fowl thanks to DeSean Jackson (19) and Ryan Grant (17).

 

Rice was on the menu for Bo and the Boz. Ray Rice, Bal-RB, (15) contributed in what turned out to be the unfortunate matchup of the week. Bo asks, "Who the hell is Jason Snelling?" Turns out that Jason (20) is a running back for Atlanta who helped Beanpot score 107 points. That total would have beaten any team in the league except.... Bo and the Boz. Wes Welker and Anquan Boldin helped Bo and Company accumulate the winning 27 points. Drown your sorrows in some eggnog, Beanpot!

 

Oreo's Team pulled a bonehead play by not benching Ronnie Brown who was placed on IR early in the week. "I can't believe I forgot about the Thursday games," said the cat, slapping her forehead with a paw. The snafu had little effect and Oreo downed Lambdo's Air Show, 80-61.

 

Hammertime pounded The Hammer 96-67 giving the winners their 4th consecutive victory and third place in the standings. The Hammer is firmly nailed to last place behind the Flying Turkeys who are hiding in the basement to avoid being served on a platter.

 

Also played: Bermeck's Ky Hicks 102 v. Justin Hermouf 106.

Choo Choos 69 v. dirty hands 82.

 

Standings:

Bo and the Boz 9-1-1

dirty hands 9-2-0

hammertime 7-4-0

Justin Hermouf 6-4-1

Lambdo's Air Show 5 and Oreo's Team 6-5-0

Reminders:

1) There are Thursday games, folks; Set your lineups accordingly.

2) If your team is languishing and has no hope of making the playoffs, please do your best anyway. It can be tempting to abandon your team but hang in there! We need you to keep the competition on its toes up to the final game. You can still have an effect on the playoff picture!

 

Flugel’s League 3 – Week 11 Country Jamboree

 

Rice’s Ryders 87 Calfox KosarDawgs 83

The Ryders got 21 points from Ben Roethlisberger, 19 points from Greg Jennings and 16 points from the Chargers Defense as they serenaded the Calfox KosarDawgs to a little “Achy Breaky Heart.” There was a positive for the KosarDawgs. Ever since Ricky Williams made the lifestyle change from roach clips to sports pages, he’s been giving Coach Calfox the Miley smiley. This week’s version of “The Climb” generated 28 points from Ricky Williams. The Ryders have escalated themselves into the 5th spot of our Fabulous 5 Rankings with a 5-4-2 record while the KosarDawgs have dropped to 4-7.

 

Believeland 105 Project Showtime 93

The season Believeland is putting together could easily pass for some Toby Keith lyrics and touchdowns. “Thaak ain’t no fake; but leaving Calvin Johnson uncovered is a 23 point mistake. Sims-Walker’s 20 made it good and plenty.” One thing is for sure, Showtime didn’t want this week’s popcorn sales to be centered on Believeland’s replays. Showtime is 9-2 today so if anyone deserves a mulligan – it’s them. That said, Believeland is now only a half a game out of first place at 8-1-2.

 

Dot the I 85 Runn Uu OVer 81

At 1 point this season, Dot the I was power steering its Mean Machine right through League 3 like it was a John Deere tractor plowing through anything. However, disabling injuries to Brian Westbrook, Clinton Portis and Ronnie Brown had the wheels falling right off that sucker. Kenny Rogers probably summarized it best: “You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel.” So what was the wonderful solution? Dot the I broke out the throw back uniforms as TO lead the way with 28 points and Matt Schaub throw in another 18 to put the tire tracks all over the top of Runn Uu Over. They are now 5-5-1 while Run Uu Over dropped to 5-6-0 in spite of the Smiths (Kevin and Steve) chipping in 19 and 18 points respectively.

 

Waiting for Noodles 85 Team DangeRuss 66

Did you ever hear the song “A Boy Named Sue” by Johnny’s Cash? Well, this game was all about a man named Aaron. Aaron Rodgers led Waiting for Noodles to victory and the 4th position in our Fabulous 5 Power Rankings with a 6-4-1 record after scoring 18 points. DangeRuss’ starting QB Tony Romance only wanted to know if Sue was hot. Gee, there’s a surprise. Okay, let’s get back to the Man in Black for the DangeRuss solution. The game plan that is all Cash says: “I’m going to Jackson.” That’s exactly how DangeRuss fought back. They went to Steven Jackson for 15 points. Unfortunately it wasn’t enough to keep them from dropping to 4-7 on the season.

 

Victory Formation 96 Charlie’s Angels 71

DeSean Jackson and Larry Fitzgerald scored 19 points apiece to lead their team into another Victory Formation. Their team has grabbed the #3 spot in the Power rankings with a 7-3-1 record from a Dolly Partonesque “Working 9 to 5” approach. Charlie’s Angels had the same outlook about the millionaire’s work day as Jamal Lewis and Allen Iverson about so both team played like they practiced with 1 exception. Anquan Boldin scored 20 points as the Angels are now 4-7.

 

Flugelmaniacs 122 Kibbles & Vicks 66

This contest probably drummed up about as much fan interest as the Dixie Chicks are getting in country music these days. Whether we’re talking X’s and O’s or the Jimmy’s and the Joe’s, all you need to know is one of these teams won and the other didn’t. Brett Favre led the Maniacs with 28 points and Drew Brees wasn’t any Saint counter attacking with 21 points. The Maniacs are now 3-7-1 while Kibbles & Vicks fell to 2-9.

 

The Fabulous 5 Power Rankings

1. Project Showtime 9-2-0 1118 pts

2. Believeland 8-1-2 1028 pts

3. Victory Formation 7-3-1 1049 pts

4. Waiting for Noodles 6-4-1 942 pts

5. Rice’s Ryders 5-4-2 811 pts

 

The Heidi Report:

My Helmet's 2Tight 67

FBrulz 112

 

Ballantyne Behemoths 75

One Man Wolf Pac 83

 

Doctors of Gridiron 130

Brown'sFanInDallas 102

 

WPBDawgFan 100

Timugen's Tool 90

 

Brownies 74

LCDawgfan13 89

 

WV Hoopies 53

BOHICA 76

 

My Helmet's 2 Tight 6-5-0: Drew Brees 21, Joseph Addai & DeAngelo Williams both w/11

FBrulz 9-2-0: Ricky Williams 28, Larry Fitzgerald 19

Helmet's Head Coach wondered if there was even any point in showing up this week but they did and were handed not a plate of turkey but Toyota's Biggest Fantasy Blowout with a + 45 points instead and became the turkey.FB continues to rule with the help of RB Ricky Williams. Williams rushed for 119 yards and scored three touchdowns. FBrulz Head Coach was heard to say after the post game interview, "We grabbed them by the giblets early in the game and didn't let go until we gobbled up another win."

 

Ballantyne Behemoths 8-3-0: Maurice Jones-Drew 15, Tom Brady, Santonio Holmes & Mason Crosby all with 12

One Man Wolf Pac 3-8-0: Tony Gonzalez 19, Ryan Grant 17

One Man Wolf Pac went over the river and through the woods to take a win away from the Behemoths. Not and easy trip to make but he did.Injury may have contributed to Behemoths' loss. RB Marshawn Lynch, left the game with a shoulder injury in the first half and did not return. But reports say he is feeling better and will have no trouble lifting his fork this Thursday.Wolf Pac will be dining on Behemoth this year.

 

Doctors of Gridiron 8-3-0: Calvin Johnson 23, Ben Roethlisberger 21

Brown'sFanInDallas 3-8-0: Brett Farve & Terrell Owens both w/28

In this weeks highest scoring game in the league, Doctor's came out on top. And with both teams doing a great job and scoring over 100 points they both deserve extra whipped cream on their pumpkin pie! After Doctor's WR Anquan Boldin suffered a sprained ankle more than a month ago, he has gained more than 100 yards receiving in each of the past two games. And not to be outdone, Brown'sFan's QB Brett Favre continued to play at an MVP level by completing a franchise and personal best 88 percent of his passes and throwing for four touchdowns.

 

WPBDawgFan 5-6-0: Kevin Smith & Heath Miller both w/19

Timugen's Tool 4-7-0: DeSean Jackson 19, Aaron Rodgers 18

WPBD's QB Matt Schaub continues to play well. He was 25 of 34 for 305 yards, two touchdowns and no interceptions. Timugen's Tool's RB Steve Slaton, who hasn't run well and has lost five of seven games, has still scored seven touchdowns. These are 2 pretty evenly matched teams so since the scales tipped in WPBD's favor, Timugen's tool will be bringing the cranberry sauce and rolls to dinner.

 

Brownies 4-7-0: Wes Welker 27, Carson Palmer 12

LCDawgfan13 7-4-0: Hines Ward 24, Sidney Rice 23

LCD was Top Dawg in this holiday match up albeit by 4 points thanks in part to WR Hines Ward is having one of his best seasons at age 33. His 63 receptions for 798 yards each ranks sixth in the NFL, and he has five TDs. Brownies' WR Wes Welker leads New England with 79 receptions for 854 yards through 10 games, despite missing two games to a knee injury. And despite his Pilgrim-like effort, as his penance for the loss is in charge of the stuffing and gravy but LCD has requested no gizzards in the gravy saying "They just give me the willies."

 

WVHoopies 2-9-0: Matt Ryan 15, Pierre Thomas & Hakeem Nicks both w/9

BOHICA 7-4-0: Mike Sims-Walker 20, Greg Jennings 19

WVHoopies didn't have much to gobble at this week but QB Matt Ryan was 26 of 46 for 268 yards and two touchdowns Sunday.

Hoopies was pardoned by the Commissioner of this league (as with the turkey at the White House) and will be allowed to live and fight another week.

 

Standings:

 

1. FBrulz 9-2-0 .818 1031 W-3

2. Doctors of Gridiron 8-3-0 .727 992 W-4

3. Ballantyne Behemoths 8-3-0 .727 990 L-1

4. BOHICA 7-4-0 .636 877 W-3

5. LCDawgfan13 7-4-0 .636 848 W-2

6. My Helmet's 2Tight 6-5-0 .545 909 L-1

7. WPBDawgFan 5-6-0 .455 882 W-1

8. Timugen's Tool 4-7-0 .364 939 L-4

9. Brownies 4-7-0 .364 837 L-3

10. One Man Wolf Pac 3-8-0 .273 742 W-1

11. Brown'sFanInDallas 3-8-0 .273 718 L-3

12. WV Hoopies 2-9-0 .182 716 L-6

 

I want to wish you all a very healthy and happy Thanksgiving. Wether you are eating turkey or steak or bologna, whether you are hosting dinner or going over the river and through the woods to Grandmother's house, if your roasting or frying or ordering in, please, be mindful of those who have less, those who are away from us (family and our troops) and those who will have an empty place in our hearts and at the table from someone who is no longer with us, that we all have at least one thing to be grateful for. Count your blessing no matter how small. They still count.

And thank you Kathy for keeping this together it's a ton of work. Thank you Tom for keeping us laughing. Thank you Beanpot for being at the head of our Fantasy FB table. Thanks to the coaches in League 4 for trying every week and to all of The Brownsboard for having peace on the board again and for reading our reports every week.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Now pass the brussel sprouts please.

 

I want to add my thanks especially to Stan, who takes the heat for all the nonsense that goes on here, even though he's not responsible for most of it. He's made a great place here and his efforts are not acknowledged or appreciated enough.

 

I hope you'll all find the time to do a kindness for someone this holiday season. Remember to reach out to those who are alone, hungry, or struggling during difficult times.

 

Kathy

[Cowsrus]

Yes Kathy!! Thank you for mentioning Stan! Stan "The Man" I apologize for not adding you to the thank you list. I did mean to. I blame the 3 MsCafe' Mochas I had trying to keep up with everything but thank goodness Kathy is on top of things. See why I thank you Kathy? You keep it together when we (or me) get ahead of ourselves and I'm not kidding. Thanks again! I raise a glass of wine to you and say, Happy Thanksgiving.

 

Heidi