You’re a weird dude. You tout all your accomplishments as if people respect you on some level? You’ve even proclaimed your faith which is a joke.
At some point doesn’t someone in your life make you accountable for how screwed up you are?
This forum can’t be the only place of ridicule for you. Unless your just an old frail troll using his last viable days getting ripped and repeating it over and over.
be better.. try confession. It helps.